Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2016

Every time I’ve ridden the Roubaix pavé, I’ve peed the next few days like I got VD from some dirty cobble. That might not really sell the non-believer on the pleasure of riding the sacred stones, but there truly is nothing like it anywhere else in the world. Here in Seattle, we have cobbled climbs and they are by all rights legitimately rough. But they pale in comparison to the brutality of the Flemish kasseien, and the Flemish kasseien pale in comparison to the French pavé.

When riding the cobbles, I sometimes find myself almost having an out of body experience, amazed at the fact that bicycle and rider are carrying on in a generally forward progression. On one occasion, I even found myself staring at a bidon that had ejected from my Arundel Mandible bidon cage, which itself says something about how rough the ride was. The bottle seemed to hang in the air for a moment as time slowed and I wondered firstly how the bidon had found its way past my top tube, and secondly whether I should fight the strangely strong urge to try and catch it.

Several of our V-Community brethren are over in Lille as we speak, riding the cobbles with our friends William and Alex from Pavé Cycling Classics and swilling Malteni like fools. They are over there because the thrilling sensation of savage shaking when you hit a secteur at speed from the smooth tarmac followed by the sense of overwhelming relief when the shaking stops as you return once again to the smooth pavement is an itch you have to keep scratching.

Sunday is Paris-Roubaix, the Queen of the Classics. And this time, it really does look like it’s going to be muddy and raining. Thank Merckx. Recall that Tom Boonen is the only favorite in the Peloton who has raced Paris-Roubaix in the wet, in 2002. Fourteen years since a muddy edition. Fourteen.

Will Boonen make it an unprecedented V wins? Or will Faboo come good and tie the record to join Boonen and de Vlaeminck? Or will Pinchy do the double and take his second monument? My money is on rain and an upset winner.

Don’t forget that the VSP Series winner takes home a custom Don Walker and that the runner-up gets a set of handbuilt Café Roubaix CR Wheelworks Arenberg wheels. Third place get a V-Kit. So start your prognostications on the start list, pray to whatever deity that melts your butter, and get your picks in by the time the timer goes to zero.
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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Picks for PR.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Peter Sagan
    2. Sep Vanmarcke
    3. Fabian Cancellara
    4. Zdenek Stybar
    5. Luke Rowe
  • Off to Compiegne tomorrow....looks like rain almost everyday EXCEPT Sunday. Whether you think thats good or not is a matter of personal opinion but either way Fabian is going to win I can feel it in my bibs. Good luck everyone!

  • I'm doubting myself. Mud = Stybar and Boom. What to do? What to do? Boom is talking about leaving the road and going back to CX full time. He is out of contract at the end of the season. A win or a good show would change that and no doubt help his contract negotiations.

    And while I want Boonen to show well, I think Stybar is the true captain this week. Maybe Terpstra.

    So the tea leaves say what?

    They say get back to work. You are procrastinating at your desk.

  • @Erik

    Boom seemed more prone to excuses than passion in recent races. Passion wins Roubaix. That's why I put Stybar as my 5th pick- he's pissed he didn't win last year, and that team needs a win. I also don't like Rowe in the mix either because he was "happy" with his Flanders result. That kind of satisfaction will only hurt him.

    I will say that the guy I most want to win and is Benoot, if purely because he's so full of V for even starting this race after his Flanders crash.

  • @Alex Todo

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Sagan
    2. Cancellara
    3. Stybar
    4. Boonen
    5. Demare

    You still have time to come up with a more likely choice for fifth place.

    As for my choices, mostly wild guesses mixed in with what I'd like to see happen. I've been waiting for Sep to win a monument for a few years now, but would certainly be happy to see Sagan pull off a cobbled hat trick.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Vanmarke
    2. Sagan
    3. Boom
    4. Cancellara
    5. Stannard
  • There was a time when they avoided the cobbles apparently and just took to the fields.  Rick van Steenbergen.

  • VSP PICKS:

    1. SAGAN Peter
    2. CANCELLARA Fabian
    3. STANNARD Ian
    4. STYBAR Zdenek
    5. BOASSON HAGEN Edvald
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