Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2016

The brutal stones of Paris-Roubaix

Every time I’ve ridden the Roubaix pavé, I’ve peed the next few days like I got VD from some dirty cobble. That might not really sell the non-believer on the pleasure of riding the sacred stones, but there truly is nothing like it anywhere else in the world. Here in Seattle, we have cobbled climbs and they are by all rights legitimately rough. But they pale in comparison to the brutality of the Flemish kasseien, and the Flemish kasseien pale in comparison to the French pavé.

When riding the cobbles, I sometimes find myself almost having an out of body experience, amazed at the fact that bicycle and rider are carrying on in a generally forward progression. On one occasion, I even found myself staring at a bidon that had ejected from my Arundel Mandible bidon cage, which itself says something about how rough the ride was. The bottle seemed to hang in the air for a moment as time slowed and I wondered firstly how the bidon had found its way past my top tube, and secondly whether I should fight the strangely strong urge to try and catch it.

Several of our V-Community brethren are over in Lille as we speak, riding the cobbles with our friends William and Alex from Pavé Cycling Classics and swilling Malteni like fools. They are over there because the thrilling sensation of savage shaking when you hit a secteur at speed from the smooth tarmac followed by the sense of overwhelming relief when the shaking stops as you return once again to the smooth pavement is an itch you have to keep scratching.

Sunday is Paris-Roubaix, the Queen of the Classics. And this time, it really does look like it’s going to be muddy and raining. Thank Merckx. Recall that Tom Boonen is the only favorite in the Peloton who has raced Paris-Roubaix in the wet, in 2002. Fourteen years since a muddy edition. Fourteen.

Will Boonen make it an unprecedented V wins? Or will Faboo come good and tie the record to join Boonen and de Vlaeminck? Or will Pinchy do the double and take his second monument? My money is on rain and an upset winner.

Don’t forget that the VSP Series winner takes home a custom Don Walker and that the runner-up gets a set of handbuilt Café Roubaix CR Wheelworks Arenberg wheels. Third place get a V-Kit. So start your prognostications on the start list, pray to whatever deity that melts your butter, and get your picks in by the time the timer goes to zero.
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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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OregonRouleur says:

Apr 12 2016 at 9:01 pm
hudson says:

Apr 13 2016 at 4:37 am

Found this picture this morning, wow, i may always think of this picture from now on when i think of Paris Roubaix. (credit CyclingTips/Kristof Ramon)
OR says:

Apr 13 2016 at 12:00 pm

While Hayman's win was totally deserved, I think Boonen should have gotten this one...

The most critical mistake Tom made was not that he got boxed in, but that he eased up after he caught Hayman (right before entering the velodrome), which allowed Sep and then Stannard to come back. If Tom had kept up the pace from the front, with Hayman in his wheel, he would have had a much bigger chance of winning the race. Hayman would probably have been happy with doing a ceremonial sprint and settle for 2nd place, while leaving the win and all-time record for Tom.

If the pace going into the velodrome had been a tad higher, Sep would probably have settled for the final podium spot, a couple bike lengths behind Boonen/Hayman, or - if Stannard would have been able to bridge to Sep before the second-to-last straightaway - those two would have being doing their own track dance for third place.

In a 2-up sprint, Hayman would also have been under much more mental pressure... a 37-year old domestique trying to outsprint Boonen in front of thousands of Belgians cheering on the other guy, while knowing that he had already accomplished an amazing feat and he was guaranteed 2nd place.

Now, with Sep and Stannard back in the mix, we had a four-up sprint and Hayman had to give it everything to make sure he ended on the podium, but to his own disbelief neither Boonen, Stannard or Sep had enough left in the tank to come around him and beat them all to the line.

What a race!
gilly says:

Apr 13 2016 at 2:56 pm

https://www.facebook.com/rouleur.magazine/posts/10154854056562699

Very interesting Rouleur article.

Pro's view on disc brakes after getting his leg sliced in Paris Roubaix
gilly says:

Apr 13 2016 at 11:17 pm

@Beers

@bea

@wiscot

Actually RDV did comment, but I’m not sure I should translate it…

http://m.nieuwsblad.be/cnt/dmf20160411_02230203

(Basically he says he’s happy boonen didn’t win. He’s probably the only Belgian who feels that way.)

He was the man on the bike, and one of my riding heroes, but he is coming across as a bit of a dick in his comments…

I was going to cry if Tom won, I’m man enough to admit.

He got boxed in, pure and simple, first by SVM (He is a fucking wheel sucker extroadinnaire until he has the opportunity to attack later in the race, I don’t like it, but this makes him a very smart racer, like Gerro) then by Stannard (he had a great ride).

I dunno if Tom will get that opportunity again, the crash and subsequent Panzerttack put the split that he needed over Sags and Fabs. If Sags and Fabs made the selection, as they may well do next year, they would have it over Tom in the velodrome I think. With a year of good form building, he could be in with a better shout though (Not at RVV, just the flatter PR). He certainly looked stronger than I have seen him, I kept yelling at him to get off the front!

Toms attack in the final few km’s where Hayman bridged, I was standing and screaming at him to go. I had to apologise to my mate, as I was at his house, and it was 3 in the morning. “Just tell your neighbours it’s your crazy mate”.

A fantastic race!

Good old RDV, he never fails to disappoint when a bitter, barbed soundbite is required. He could learn a lot from Boonen regarding how to conduct yourself. Class verses Arse.