Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2017

4x Roubaix. Can the record be beaten?

I was called a Boonen sycophant today by one of my editors, which didn’t feel as good as it sounds. But the fact is, I am. And the fact is also that I’m not ashamed of being such. It certainly feels cleaner than my Dirty Schlecky love from a few years ago.

Last year’s Boonen heartbreak (I’m talking about mine, not his) was bittersweet because Matty Hayman put in such a great ride to win, not to mention that Boonen was such a great sportsman. But with that near miss in the rear view mirror – the bad luck that many favorites had last week at Flanders, I’m probably more nervous about crashes and mechanicals than the racers are themselves. I’m a bit of a wreck, to be honest.

Last week took its pound of flesh from Vanmarke, who is out, and Sagan, who is battle-damaged. No Cancellara and a lackluster season from Degencobble puts a lot of pressure on my in-form boy Tomeke to make a run at his fifth and record-breaking Roubaix cobble. He rode today’s Scheldeprijs on the front and showing great strength, and then disappeared down the bunch to coast into the finish of his last race in Belgium as a Pro. Merckx, I’ll miss having him to watch.

But as cool as he is, he’ll never be RdV-fixing-his-fucked-up-leggings-on-the-bike Cool. Contemplate the startlist and get your picks in by the time the countdown timer turns into a pumpkin and good luck!

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

ClamSauce says:

Apr 6 2017 at 1:21 pm
VSP PICKS:
1. Boonen
2. GVA
3. Christ-off
4. gummy bear without glasses
5. Ed Bassoon Hog-ing
tony macaroni says:

Apr 6 2017 at 1:34 pm
VSP PICKS:
1. sagan
2. boonen
3. kristoff
4. GVA
5. degenkolb
MangoDave says:

Apr 6 2017 at 2:05 pm
I'm assuming someone informed Peter that there may be cobbles and other hazards

to look out for on this course, so...

VSP PICKS:
1. Sagan
2. Terpstra
3. GVA
4. Degenkolb
5. Boonen
Cameron W says:

Apr 6 2017 at 2:38 pm
Tony Martin for the WIN!!

VSP PICKS:
1. Tony Martin
2. Luke Durbridge
3. Tom Boonen
4. Peter Sagan
5. Greg Van Avermaet
Rob says:

Apr 6 2017 at 2:38 pm
VSP PICKS:
1. Boasson Hagen
2. Stannard
3. Boonen
4. Van Avermaet
5. Degenkolb
sthilzy says:

Apr 6 2017 at 3:30 pm
VSP PICKS:
1. Peter Sagan
2. John Degenkolb
3. Tom Boonen
4. Sep Vanmarcke
5. Greg Van Avermaet
Jason says:

Apr 6 2017 at 3:31 pm

@frank

Probably because they are flat out fucking awesome. I like how retrogrouch elitist they are. I can imagine the pure smug joy that would overcome me while pulling that awkward, heavy instrument out of my jersey pocket to explain to other cyclists how bike technology should have stopped at fillet brazing and the only sensible way to measure your tire pressure is in kg/cm2. Actually, I may be on to something with that first one.
frank says:

Apr 6 2017 at 3:59 pm

@wiscot

You know, as much as Tommeke wants to win this, he’s such a team player that if Terpstra did go off the front and win, I think he’d be ok with that. If it did come down to a Tommeke/Sagan/GvA sprint, I hope Tommeke doesn’t balls it up like last year. He coulda, shoulda beaten Heyman but got boxed in.

He seemed really overgeared for the sprint, too. I got the impression he didn't account for how fried his guns were.
JohnB says:

Apr 6 2017 at 4:07 pm
VSP PICKS:
1. Tom Boonen
2. Peter Sagan
3. Greg Van Avermaet
4. Oliver Naesen
5. Niki Terpstra
Erik says:

Apr 6 2017 at 5:08 pm
@Snowy
Rock cobbler!

VSP PICKS:
1. Sagan
2. Boonen
3. Degenkolb
4. van Avermaet
5. Terpstra
I may never get that earworm out of my head now.