Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix

Servais Knaven, he earned that sweet shower plaque Crédit photo : DPPI

Let us pray for rain.

The Sunday after Ronde Van Vlaanderen brings us to Paris-Roubaix. The Holiest of Holies. There are no bergs to ride over, instead, accelerate to maximum speed to be in the top 20 to start each cobbled section, bring power up to flank to float over broken treacherous farm path crown, gutter or ditch or all three at the same time as required. Recover once back on the tarmac. Repeat 26 more times.

This Sunday’s edition of Paris-Roubaix will have Velominati moaning, staring through half empty bottles of Chimay, burning candles to Saint Ludo of Dierckxsens (the patron saint of Flemish V), begging for a sign. The winner won’t be a first timer to this race, he needs experience on these stones, he will also require equally experienced teammates who can hang tough close to Roubaix. He must be massively fit. He must be tough as nails. Andy Schleck will not be out here on Sunday, not because he is not tough (OK, he is not tough enough for this) but racing on such terrible cobbled farm tracks is a skill only a certain subset of professionals develop. All around tough bastard Bernard Hinault, aka The Badger, thought it was an insane lottery, unworthy of his attention but he did ride it twice and won in 1981. In 2011 you could do worse than roll up to the start on your 1980 steel Merckx ride as today’s bikes, used just for this one race, have a lot of old-school about them: 27mm profile tires, huge inner chain rings, 3-cross laced wheels, longer rake front forks, longer chainstays. These bikes go back into storage when this race is over. Insane bikes, riders, fans and of course, throw in some bad weather and we have a real race.

Finally Fabian Cancellara has shown himself to be human, a really strong human. Tomeke Boonen is showing signs of past greatness. Garmin-Cervelo has been hammered from all quarters, they are under pressure and Thor has always said this is the race he wants to win. Gilbert is fit, ready and Belgian (news flash, he may be ready but not to race P-R, coward). Chavanel is fit, ready and French. Could Ballan be the new Moser? No. Not ever. Team Sky, with nary a Belgian still has a shot with a Spaniard, an Englishman and a Welshman.

The spinning wheels of Fortuna could play havoc on the best laid bets like it did in 2001. Dutchmen Servais Knaven won it all. Knaven, with teammate Johan Museeuw was part of a select group closing in on Roubaix. Being the dutiful domestique he attacked to force Museeuw’s adversaries to chase but no one could.  He was a tough guy and rode away with a beautiful victory.

Let us pray for rain.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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  • I think Fabo rides away with it again and Tommy Boy defeats the God of Thunder in a sprint for second place. Flecha will ride hard for the Queen and Thomas will keep him near the front but he just doesn't have the kick to go with the big boys. I'm torn between Ballan & Gilbert for 5th place but I'm going with BMC to get some results after a hard days work by the team.

    If Thor can't hold his shit together for at least a podium spot, the whole Garmin-Cervelo 'classics dream team' is officially a steaming shit pile of a failure.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Boonen
    3. Hushovd
    4. Flecha
    5. Ballan

  • Eightzero:
    Just because i think if george won, he'd get off his bike, set his shoes on the track, and retire on the spot, never to touch a bike in his life ever again.

    Maybe he should do that before the race...

  • I have total confidence that Thor will finally do justice to the rainbows. He'll outsprint Boonen in a dual of the titans. The rest will suck Fabs wheel all day and burn him out. Or something else will happen...who knows - that's why I love this shit!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Thunder Thors
    2. Tomeke
    3. Gilbert
    4. Ballan
    5. Flecha

  • I am so excited, I can hardly sit still. Time seems to have slowed. My senses have heightened. The world seems to be showing in brighter colours and higher definition. Roll on Sunday. Bienvenue en Enfer.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara, wounded lion
    2. Thor, up for it
    3. Boonen, always the bridesmaid
    4. Geraint T, on form
    5. Big George H

  • Pure guesswork.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Boonen
    3. Hushovd
    4. Hincapie
    5. Flecha

  • Fixed. Straight sub.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Boonen
    2. Thor
    3. This is Spartacus!
    4. Michael Barry
    5. Chavanel

  • Thor and the (unproven) Garvelo's will vanquish their opponents once and for all, confirming superteam status and maturing from runners up to Winners. Spartacus won't be able to drop the lot again, it's an old move that is far too expected with garvelo finally supporting a leader and reigning him in with stellar lieutenants Haussler and Farrar. Boonen is now the perpetual runner up, beyond his golden era with Thomas the next big thing, a fact he will confirm with a solid 4th place. Hincapie is always there, never quite there enough.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Thor, God of Thunder
    2. Spartacus
    3. Boonen
    4. G Thomas
    5. Hincapie

  • Just about to leave Paris after a short work-related trip. Unfortunately, I have to return to my role of domestique for a growing equipe of Velominata.
    I will not be able to join those cobbled masses yearning to breathe the V.

    Hopefully my relative proximity to the course (what, Compiègne-Roubaix didn't focus-group well?) will bring about wisdom not otherwise possessed.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Boonen
    3. Ballan
    4. Chavanel
    5. Thomas

  • once again I'm just shooting from the hip on this. best of luck to all of you.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Sparty
    2. Ballan
    3. Boonen
    4. Thor
    5. Gilbert

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