Velominati Super Prestige: Paris Tours 2012

Virenque wins Paris Tours photo:Reuters

The final race of the 2012 Velominati Super Prestige season is upon us. It’s not the most inspiring race, supposedly a race for the sprinters. The long straight final run in to the finish line begs for a mass sprint. It should be called Châteauneuf-en-Thymerais-Tours. The route is 235.5 km of small rollers through the French countryside. There is not a categorized climb on it.

Captain Fuck Around is eleven points behind @san tonio. If the captain stops fucking around like he did with last week’s Lombardia winning pick @g’phant could be mincing around Wellington in a different apron from the one he usually wears. @xyxax, a few points behind el captaine, is swirling his hands over his crystal ball in his Gotham lair, his flying monkeys grinning and hopping with excitement over his shoulder. @ san tonio is standing tall, a few decent choices and he will win this whole thing but this is a tough race to call. It’s October, who has any gas in the tank? This could be a true sprint finish with remnants of lead out trains, or won from a small break or something freakish like a climber holding off the whole chasing peloton.

Did France’s ex-golden boy get off the EPO after the Festina affair? Did he win Paris-Tours by holding off the whole field on a day-long break with Jackie Durand riding on bread and water? For me it was easily his greatest win. It was much better than all his king of the mountain wins with their self-righteous finish line salutes to his own cheating ass. He was a climber, he was supposed to win mountain stages. But to end up being the lone fox chased by the whole pack, holding them off and winning this so called sprinters race, it was beautiful, Voight-esque. It’s how a race should be won. This win actually made me like him again, a little bit. Sprinters get enough wins already. They are over-rated.

Here is a provisional start list, good luck and good picking, no Delgados, please.

Below is a barely adequate video of the 2001 race and Virenque’s win, all in French and too many shots of him in his sweater. But it is short.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • @Steampunk

    @Buck Rogers

    That's a pretty American concept of French love: putting a Frenchman in fifth. Would you like some freedom fries with that?

    Fucking French, we save their country for them and they treat us rudely when we visit, what do you expect?!?!

    Besides, since they went off the juice they haven't been worth shit in cycling!

    Btw, before someone gets their panties in a bunch, both of the above are said with tongue firmly in cheek, except point one and two.

  • @Buck Rogers

    @Steampunk

    @Buck Rogers

    That's a pretty American concept of French love: putting a Frenchman in fifth. Would you like some freedom fries with that?

    Fucking French, we save their country for them and they treat us rudely when we visit, what do you expect?!?!

    Besides, since they went off the juice they haven't been worth shit in cycling!

    Btw, before someone gets their panties in a bunch, both of the above are said with tongue firmly in cheek, except point one and two.

    Er...that's why we love the french....in a world where everyone has to tow the line, think about who might be offended by every word uttered...the french simply say "furk ewe mon ami....it's ma way er de hawaay"...a truly great ppl...and their time will come again I'm sure...after all, us Brits have waited since Tommy in the 60's for our moment in the sun ;)

  • @Steampunk

    @Buck Rogers

    Well, you did pretty much fuck up their republican democracy after they taught it to your founding fathers.

    See, there you go getting all history PhD'y on me again.  I just know that they would be serving sauerkraut on the Champ Élysées and not escargot if it were not for the Americans and British and the rest of the world bailing their asses out.

    (says the well indoctrinated soldier :)

  • Would not be surprised by Flecha flyer, or one of the other french sprinters from stealing the show. I'm thinking Argos-Shimano and the french will work together for the sprint finish though.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Degenkolb
    2. Bouhanni
    3. Dumoulin
    4. Boom
    5. Van Avermaet

  • VSP PICKS:

    1. Lars Boom    
    2. John Degenkolb
    3. Gerald Ciolek  
    4. Sylvain Chavanel
    5. Juan Antonio Flecha

1 5 6 7 8 9 16
Share
Published by
Gianni

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago