Ok, ok, settle down now people. Take your seats please. You’re all a little bit on edge, like some cycling Gamblers Anonymous group that’s been let out for the weekend with a pocket full of bills and the name of the nearest bookie. But in your excitement, you managed to crash our server, delaying the fix you so desperately crave.
But wait no more. You’ve warmed up on the gateway races, now it’s time for the hard stuff, as grimy, rough and unadulterated as the roads of Flanders themselves.
You see, there’s this bloke I know who knows a bloke, hangs around the Velominati bike sheds, seems to know a bit about the racing game. Reckons he’s got a sure bet for the weekend. A cert. A dead-set shoo-in. Number 1 in Race 3 of the VSP at Flanders. Fella reckons you could put your left one on it. Absolutely Faboolous or something he’s called. He’s got form (and, judging by the way he shelled the nags on last week’s card, possibly a motor). But word is there could be a late plunge on the other fella, Boom Boom Boy, so maybe a bob each way might be the way to go. I’d watch out for those not-so-roughies though, the likes of Gilbert, Devolder, Ballan and Thor will be waiting to pick up any leftover chaff and could steal away the win, leaving you as frustrated as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.
So what’s it gonna be then? Take the sure thing, or the other sure thing, or throw a dart at the board and hope it sticks? It’s time to study the form guide, search the dark recesses of your soul, throw out any logic, and pencil in your picks on the ticket provided at the bottom of the comments. Whether you’re canny, savvy or just plain tinny, the coveted Obey The Rules bumper sticker is waiting. Is your bumper worthy?
The only thing for certain is that bicycle racing will be the winner on the day.
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@Oli Brooke-White
Yes. I can see Chav had a great race. But I can't see why Cancellara's ride gets so little praise or no comment.
Dear Fabian -
You are amazing. We all know this. We love you for it. And every time you get on a bike you remind us of it.
So, when you get off the bike, do you need to remind us of it again?
Thing is, people find it easier to love the underdog. When you're the top dog, people can admire you, fear you, be amazed at/by you - but for some reason a lot of us find it just that little bit harder to love you.
What usually keeps the love flowing is the old grace and humility bit. Even if it is more for the sake of form than anything else, it sends the right message. You know the kind of thing - "I rode my own race and thought I could do it, but full credit to the peloton, and Nick in particular, for making such an exciting race." And maybe: "I will try hard in PR, but there's a lot of strong guys out there, any number of who could win on the day." And perhaps a bit less of the "I am the only one who can attack like that" / "I lost by trying to win, the others rode only to make me lose" / "I dread the thought that I might never win the world road champs"? They all may be true - but do they need to be said?
Hugs,
-Fanboy
P.S. Good luck for P-R.
Oh. I see now.
You wan't to like him but he needs to give you a little more to work with...
I'm over Cancerllara. Hope he gets buried at Roubaix.
You're a bit Katy Perry aren't you, Bretto?
He did have a fantastic ride. If he hadn't stuffed up his hydration/nutrition he would have won at a canter, I reckon. He's bloody good, although I agree with G'phant that he's been getting a bit Cavendish of late.
@Oli Brooke-White
Really? I'll have to think about what the distinction is exactly"”and Cancellara tweeted this morning that something very definitely got lost in translation (although this is a guy who claimed at the TdF in 2009 that he "rode like a lion" to defend yellow and his TT was like a precision Swiss watch)"”but there's something wildly entertaining about his comments that is totally absent when Cavendish spouts forth. It's more than extreme confidence and arrogance.
Not sure where to throw this one out but it seems Gent-Wevelgem's original date has been replaced by Scheldeprijs and all the big guys are showing up today. Should be a great race. Wonder if Cancellara will try to lay down the law in order to establish some fear for Sunday.
@Steampunk
I didn't mean the quality of the words so much as the up himself lippyness. No matter how well or poorly it's expressed, it's a quality I admire when it can be backed up. And they both certainly can back up their mouths with their legs...
I noticed Brett. Very subtle.