Velominati Super Prestige: Ronde van Vlaanderen
Ok, ok, settle down now people. Take your seats please. You’re all a little bit on edge, like some cycling Gamblers Anonymous group that’s been let out for the weekend with a pocket full of bills and the name of the nearest bookie. But in your excitement, you managed to crash our server, delaying the fix you so desperately crave.
But wait no more. You’ve warmed up on the gateway races, now it’s time for the hard stuff, as grimy, rough and unadulterated as the roads of Flanders themselves.
You see, there’s this bloke I know who knows a bloke, hangs around the Velominati bike sheds, seems to know a bit about the racing game. Reckons he’s got a sure bet for the weekend. A cert. A dead-set shoo-in. Number 1 in Race 3 of the VSP at Flanders. Fella reckons you could put your left one on it. Absolutely Faboolous or something he’s called. He’s got form (and, judging by the way he shelled the nags on last week’s card, possibly a motor). But word is there could be a late plunge on the other fella, Boom Boom Boy, so maybe a bob each way might be the way to go. I’d watch out for those not-so-roughies though, the likes of Gilbert, Devolder, Ballan and Thor will be waiting to pick up any leftover chaff and could steal away the win, leaving you as frustrated as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.
So what’s it gonna be then? Take the sure thing, or the other sure thing, or throw a dart at the board and hope it sticks? It’s time to study the form guide, search the dark recesses of your soul, throw out any logic, and pencil in your picks on the ticket provided at the bottom of the comments. Whether you’re canny, savvy or just plain tinny, the coveted Obey The Rules bumper sticker is waiting. Is your bumper worthy?
The only thing for certain is that bicycle racing will be the winner on the day.
VSP PICKS:
1. Saprtacus
2. Hookes and Blow
3. GoT
4. Gilbert Grape
5. Sagan Wagon
Oops, that’s “Hookers and Blow”
Doh!!! Spartacus
So hard to decide bewteen Flecha and Ballan. Going to go with Flecha, not sure why and will probably regret it!
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Haussler
5. Flecha
God Damn, Cyclops, you’ve got some rough nicknames there! :)
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Haussler
5. Flecha
Is anyone going to put anyone but spartacus at #1? I’m not brave enough to do it
VSP PICKS:
1. faboo
2. tomeke
3. Giblets
4. Juan the arrow
5. steeeeeeeegmans
Just put all big guns…I don’t see Boonen really in 5th, in my opinion he will be or 1st or 99th…
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancelara
2. Gilbert
3. Flecha
4. Sagan
5. Boonen
I just had a stroopwafel and I get to go riding today and it is going to be all the up to 61F (16c). Life is good.
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacus
2. Hookers and Blow
3. GoT
4. Gilbert Grape
5. Sagan Wagon
Frak it. Faboo is there at the end, but makes a mistake.
VSP PICKS:
1. Sagan
2. Thor
3. Faboo
4. Devolder
5. Ballan
This can’t be right. I’m banking on Chavanel making a break stick. But how does Pippo not show since he’s basically bolted onto Gilbert’s wheel in every race? And how do Chav and Gilbert outspring Sagan and Haussler? So much talk of Spartacus breaking everyone’s soul””and it is great sport to watch””but I’m betting the other way. Would love to see Boonen win this, but I just don’t see it.
VSP PICKS:
1. Chavanel
2. Gilbert
3. Sagan
4. Herr Heinrich
5. Spartacus
Okay Tyler let’s go for the win this week!
VSP PICKS:
1. The Wenatchee Kid
2. Fabio “I can
DAMNIT. I hit enter by mistake (stupid lazy American fingers) and it submitted and locked them in, and now I only have two spots.
Am I fucked? Yes I am.
What the hell, I’ll list the rest here, and maybe I can get a jersey for most stupid made up names.
1. The Wenatchee Kid
2. Fabio “I can’t believe it’s not butter” Cancellara.
3. The God of Thunder
4. Thanks Manx
5. Boom-shakalaka
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Hincapie
3. Boonen
4. Hushovd
5. Goss
The favourites are obvious. They are allgonna be marked out of the race. The break will go and will succeed. Ah, but which break!!!
VSP PICKS:
1. ballan
2. maarskant
3. hammond
4. roulston
5. stannard
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Flecha
5. Thor
Purloined from the comments at Inner Ring: an interview with Museeuw after he climbs De Muur on a city bike. Everyone but Frank, click on the closed captioning to get the english.
ok, i love spartacus, and think really he will win, but i love the underdog. Given the weather forecast, hoping for rain, that may not be spartacus’ cup o tea…so, here goes a salvo boys!
VSP PICKS:
1. Flecha
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Cancellara
5. Ballan
Needed to pick a Top 10 for this race really, too many good riders that have not even had a mention. Hopefully the cream comes to the top & we get a great race. Garmin-Cervelo alone could provide 5 of the top ten on paper!
Radioshack will be pumped after Rosseler’s win in 3 Days of dePanne. Sagan, Pippo,& on & on, hopefully it should be a good race!
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Haussler
4. Flecha
5. Gilbert
Great lead in article… I’m tipping Spartacus by 5 furlongs ahead of boonen by a nose over gilbert with thor a 3 lengths. Alby Davis will have a decent trollup around the paddock to round out the 5
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Thor
5. Alby Davis
@eightzero
Dont rule out spartacus’s sprint – watch the finish of Milan SanRemo spartacus put in a damn fine sprint to grab 2nd!
Here goes nothing…
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Ballan
5. Pozzato
Hard to see past Spartacus. The deep fat frier is warmed up, beer in fridge and trainer set up in front of the TV.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Gilbert
3. Boonen
4. Haussler
5. Thor
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Haussler
4. Gilbert
5. Maaskant
Glorious morning this morning. No kids’ sport. Ergo time for a nice ride up Blue Mountain Rd to Whitemans Valley and return. All going well until the bimbo in the silver SUV with a big trailer decided to overtake us on a left hand bend. She kept coming, and coming, and coming, and just when I thought she had just avoided tagging me (we were by this stage about 5 cm from the gravel) her extra wide trailer hit me and sent me are over kite. She, of course, being a FUCKING BIMBO kept driving, but eventually decided to stop 150m down the road. A very robust exchange of views ensued when she explained that she needed to overtake and we should’ve moved over and what did we expect her to do? Chris, my much more mild mannered mate, remarked afterwards that he was both impressed and relieved at the volume and range off my distinctly fruity vocabulary – impressed as it was pretty seamless and extensive in it’s employment of a range of expressions, and relieved as it was a clear indication that I was not badly hurt. Unlike my bike, which has a fucked rear dérailleur hanger and possible dérailleur, as well as having had ripped out the little catch riveted to the chain stay which holds the dérailleur cable – which I suspect means the frame needs and dray and possibly some fixing. The relevance of all this? Dear gods of cycling, listen up – I deserve a break here. Please pay close attention to my picks and do your stuff.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancelarrrrrrrrarraahhh
2. Tommeke
3. Roulston
4. Heinie Housy
5. Thunderthighs
Jeebus G’phant, I’m glad you’re okay.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Devolder
4. Gilbert
5. Van Avermet
@Marko
Cheers. Just road rash – and pissed off I didn’t get her details. Maybe she’d have given them to me if I hadn’t called her those names …
@G’phant
Scary SHIT there, Mate! Glad that you are okay. Yeah, she should be paying for your bike fix. No plate number or anything? Man, that’s a rough one.
VSP PICKS:
1. Farrar
2. Hushovd
3. Fabio
Hincapie – a freight train from hell heading straight up the arse of the competition. This will be his year, I’m certain of it…
VSP PICKS:
1. Hincapie
2. Heinrich
3. Cavendish
4. Roulston
5. Cancellara
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacus
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Heinrich
5. Devolder
Great write-up. The wife and I rode the cyclo last year, or tried, our naivete on the cobbles did us in for an official finish… some unfinished business left for us in Belgium. For the lad at the top on the other hand, not so much unfinished business there. Gotta put the last one in there… don’t believe he’ll be fifth, but gotta cover the bases in the top-5 in case his flyer sticks.
VSP PICKS:
1. Spartacus
2. Boom Boom Boonen
3. The Arrow
4. God of Thunder
5. Shave-an-L
I went basic picks. Cancellara will become Can-Can-Cancellara when he backs up with 3 wins in 3 weeks. The others are pack fillers like myself. It’ll have to be a breakaway, so I’m leaving my boy Gossy on the bench this week. Hope he makes me look (more) stupid on Sunday!
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Ballan
4. Gilbert
5. Thor
VSP PICKS:
1. Boonen
2. Fabio Cancellara
3. Goss
4. Lars Boom
5. Thor
Why not go long? Cancellara has to have a bad day at some point.
VSP PICKS:
1. Chavanel
2. Boonen
3. Van Avermaet
4. Eisel
5. Boom
Ah fuck it I’m just gonna pick who I want to see in the final selection to make it an interesting race. If Devolder has picked a race to win this year, I hope to hell it ain’t this one. Can’t see him knocking down that door…
VSP PICKS:
1. Thor
2. Boom boom Boonen
3. Spartacus
4. Steegmans
5. Devolder
@G’phant
Jeez mate, you’re not having a good run are you? Glad to hear it was only a bit of bark lost for you, but your poor bike! I feel for you champ, my commiserations on the damage.
@Brett, glad it wasn’t just me re: the site crashing. I was feeling a bit anxious, bit like a junkie coming down, wondering when the next fix was coming? Sweaty palms, unable to focus on anything else, irritable, itching all over….phew, dealer came through with the goods. Just sitting back warming the spoon….aah, it’s all sunshine and lollipops now….
Nice little post as well
VSP PICKS:
1. Faboo
2. tomekke
3. Ballan
4. Thor de Rainbow
5. Felcher
Oh man, I so wish and hope that you are right but even if Big George was all alone, with a five minute lead, and only 100 meters to go I bet a horse or something would jump out and run him over. That guy always seems to find bad luck, no matter what the circumstances, in the Spring Classics! But I like your optimism!!!
I keep thinking Stijn Devolder should be on the list. Also, Peter Sagan.
Oh well. I will finish the Super Prestige DFL but I will finish.
VSP PICKS:
1. Tom Boonen
2. Philippe Gilbert
3. Fabian Cancellara
4. Haussler
5. Gert Steegmans
From what I hear the weather is going to be wet making those wonderful cobbles more like a water park than a bike race. So it could be another crap shoot based more on luck than anything else. But these are my picks.
VSP PICKS:
1. SpartyBlow
2. Boonen and Blow
3. Ballan
4. Flecha
5. H2
typo
VSP PICKS:
1. Sparty
2. Boonen and Blow
3. Ballan
4. Flecha
5. H2
I reckon whatever the weather, Fabian will dominate. The others will have a little sprint for second.
VSP PICKS:
1. Fab Can Can
2. Saussler
3. God of Thunder
4. Alby Davis
5. Ballan
VSP PICKS:
1. Boonen
2. Motorcus
3. Thoricus
4. Haussler
5. Chavanel
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Gilbert
3. Flecha
4. Boonan
5. Thor
VSP PICKS:
1. Gilbert
2. Cancellara
3. Boonen
4. Ballan
5. Haussler
@G’phant
Merckx! Glad you’re okay. Sorry about the bike. I like to think the bitch made a huge withdrawal from her kharma bank and a shit storm of bad is about to come down on her.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Chavanel
5. Haussler
@G’phant
Bimbos be damned. did you get her plates? either way good to hear you are ok, minus a bike that needs repair.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Ballan
3. Gilbert
4. Thor
5. Flecha