Ok, ok, settle down now people. Take your seats please. You’re all a little bit on edge, like some cycling Gamblers Anonymous group that’s been let out for the weekend with a pocket full of bills and the name of the nearest bookie. But in your excitement, you managed to crash our server, delaying the fix you so desperately crave.
But wait no more. You’ve warmed up on the gateway races, now it’s time for the hard stuff, as grimy, rough and unadulterated as the roads of Flanders themselves.
You see, there’s this bloke I know who knows a bloke, hangs around the Velominati bike sheds, seems to know a bit about the racing game. Reckons he’s got a sure bet for the weekend. A cert. A dead-set shoo-in. Number 1 in Race 3 of the VSP at Flanders. Fella reckons you could put your left one on it. Absolutely Faboolous or something he’s called. He’s got form (and, judging by the way he shelled the nags on last week’s card, possibly a motor). But word is there could be a late plunge on the other fella, Boom Boom Boy, so maybe a bob each way might be the way to go. I’d watch out for those not-so-roughies though, the likes of Gilbert, Devolder, Ballan and Thor will be waiting to pick up any leftover chaff and could steal away the win, leaving you as frustrated as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.
So what’s it gonna be then? Take the sure thing, or the other sure thing, or throw a dart at the board and hope it sticks? It’s time to study the form guide, search the dark recesses of your soul, throw out any logic, and pencil in your picks on the ticket provided at the bottom of the comments. Whether you’re canny, savvy or just plain tinny, the coveted Obey The Rules bumper sticker is waiting. Is your bumper worthy?
The only thing for certain is that bicycle racing will be the winner on the day.
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Great lead in article... I'm tipping Spartacus by 5 furlongs ahead of boonen by a nose over gilbert with thor a 3 lengths. Alby Davis will have a decent trollup around the paddock to round out the 5
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Thor
5. Alby Davis
@eightzero
Dont rule out spartacus's sprint - watch the finish of Milan SanRemo spartacus put in a damn fine sprint to grab 2nd!
Here goes nothing...
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Gilbert
4. Ballan
5. Pozzato
Hard to see past Spartacus. The deep fat frier is warmed up, beer in fridge and trainer set up in front of the TV.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Gilbert
3. Boonen
4. Haussler
5. Thor
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Haussler
4. Gilbert
5. Maaskant
Glorious morning this morning. No kids' sport. Ergo time for a nice ride up Blue Mountain Rd to Whitemans Valley and return. All going well until the bimbo in the silver SUV with a big trailer decided to overtake us on a left hand bend. She kept coming, and coming, and coming, and just when I thought she had just avoided tagging me (we were by this stage about 5 cm from the gravel) her extra wide trailer hit me and sent me are over kite. She, of course, being a FUCKING BIMBO kept driving, but eventually decided to stop 150m down the road. A very robust exchange of views ensued when she explained that she needed to overtake and we should've moved over and what did we expect her to do? Chris, my much more mild mannered mate, remarked afterwards that he was both impressed and relieved at the volume and range off my distinctly fruity vocabulary - impressed as it was pretty seamless and extensive in it's employment of a range of expressions, and relieved as it was a clear indication that I was not badly hurt. Unlike my bike, which has a fucked rear dérailleur hanger and possible dérailleur, as well as having had ripped out the little catch riveted to the chain stay which holds the dérailleur cable - which I suspect means the frame needs and dray and possibly some fixing. The relevance of all this? Dear gods of cycling, listen up - I deserve a break here. Please pay close attention to my picks and do your stuff.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancelarrrrrrrrarraahhh
2. Tommeke
3. Roulston
4. Heinie Housy
5. Thunderthighs
Jeebus G'phant, I'm glad you're okay.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Boonen
3. Devolder
4. Gilbert
5. Van Avermet
@Marko
Cheers. Just road rash - and pissed off I didn't get her details. Maybe she'd have given them to me if I hadn't called her those names ...
@G'phant
Scary SHIT there, Mate! Glad that you are okay. Yeah, she should be paying for your bike fix. No plate number or anything? Man, that's a rough one.