Velominati Super Prestige: The Men’s Elite Road Race

He will have to rediscover The V. Photo: Tim Kölln

You can only spend so much time with the Schlecks before you start talking like them, and the fabulous Fabs seems to have crossed the threshold. I’ve heard more complaining from him this season than I have talk about pushing harder on the pedals or going steady up with more speed or going full gas like everyone else, but just doing it for longer – his Flanders win notwithstanding. Instead, he’s making ridiculous suggestions along the lines that wet muddy cobblestones don’t belong in the Tour de France. That’s crazy talk, yo. Of course cobbles belong in the Tour, just like being able to eat an energy bar without crashing out. Being able to eat without falling off should be a requirement for completing any race just the same as having some bike handling skills and making sure you have overdraft protection at the V-Bank, that’s basic bike racing.

But despite his recent whingings, I still love my Fabs, which means he’s got absolutely no chance of winning the Worlds. But this is a man who would do the bands some honor, provided he sign a contract with the Style Police (Velominati) that he “Shant Wear Le Knicker Blanche”. Seeing the bands crushing the cobbles during the Cobbled Classics is something we’ve been deprived of for too long. Speaking of which, I fancy my other man-crush Boonen has a shot. I’ll be happy if either one wins. Maybe Boonen will show us his tattoo when he puts on the jersey.

So what do we have? We have a 20km loop with 300 meters of climbing per. That 300 meters is similar to my favorite gravel climb in Cle Elum, and while it’s spread over two climbs, we all know the “easier” climbs are sometimes harder. It reminds one of the Chambery Worlds when LeMond won a few years back; a solid climb a few km from the finish with a technical (wet) descent and lumpy run-in to the line. I don’t think this is a finish for a final-ramp attack specialist like Gilbert; this is a course for a true rouleur with some tactical sense, like LeMond. I’m not sure I know which rider that might be these days, but Fabs is probably pretty close.

In 1989, LeMond won on a similar route riding a 54/42. Sean Kelly rode a 53/39 so as not to burn out the guns on the many repeats of the climb. He also chose a 13-26 over LeMond’s 12-23 which tells you a thing or two about why we call him LeMan around here. He got over the climbs and when it came to the sprint the massive 54×12 he was turning was no match for Kelly’s 53×13. From what I understand, this singular moment is the Ghost of Lost Opportunity that comes to knock at Kelly’s door at 2am most often.

So who is going to win? I don’t know, so don’t ask me. I’m just here to provide some bad writing you can skip over on your way down to the Picks Entry form. All the interesting stuff will be in the posts, as usual.

Good luck, and remember there are some serious prizes on offer for the overall. Go get em, cowboys and cowgirls.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Steampunk

    Yeah, I was having crocodile flashbacks; I always hope he does well even when I don't pick him.  I didn't think I'd live to see the day when PG was in service of GVA.

    @Rob

    I'm not sure how it happens, though scouring Twitter to see if there's any news of Degenkolb's illness may mean I should probably be doing something else with my life.

  • I hardly consider him uninspiring. Strada biancha  was a phenomenal show. Working equally with Sagan to keep the hounds away, and after a beautiful effort he buried Peter on the last climb. I think his efforts go to show what a great rider he can become. I'm excited to watch him in the classics this next year.

  • @frank wow! 99.9999% wow! It's not like he came out of no-where, tell us more, is it his past teams, Caja Rural, Radioshack, does he have connections with certain 'Doctors' , I had hoped he was part of the future of our sport rather than the past.

  • @Steampunk

    You know enought to know not to go measuring everyone by the same stick, my friend. We're fans, not doctors for fucks sake. If we can't be irrational about bike racing, all hope for humanity is lost.

    Actually I think I figured out why I don't like him. He's too short. His bike looks stupid. Case closed.

  • @frank

    I know where you're coming from. I'm playing Devil's advocate a bit here. I should like him, but when he breaks away I always feel a little disappointed. Too short, too Eastern European, too something. Or not enough of something else. Can anyone put a finger on it?

  • @frank

    @Steampunk

    Actually I think I figured out why I don't like him. He's too short. His bike looks stupid. Case closed.

    Whew! It's a good thing Simon Gerrans didn't win, he's only 5'7"!

  • @Steampunk

    Too short, too Eastern European, too something. Or not enough of something else. Can anyone put a finger on it?

    I would guess it's absolutely because he's Eastern European, I can imagine the same sentiments if some Hungarian or Romanian cyclists were also breaking out on the World Tour. Besides being outside the axis of cycling (France, Belgium, Netherlands, Italy, Spain), everyone is always a little leery of Eastern European athletics following the Cold War.

    However, I see no reason to suspect Kwiatkowski of anything, Poland as it is today, is nothing like East Germany, before the wall came down, and was home to a young Jens Voigt. Poland is a pretty country, fairly big, relatively prosperous, and a good potential market for pro cycling. If the successes of Majka and Kwiatkowski increase the visibility cycling in Poland, it's win/win for the sport (and us fans).

  • @frank

    @Steampunk

    @frank

    By uninspiring, do you mean a guy who isn't Dutch? The kid has surprised everyone with his tenacity-in a very short period of time, he's found his way into the key selections of many of the most important races. And largely on his own initiative. Your list of uninspiring champions is weird: Rui Costa was about the only thing inspiring about last year's Tour.

    Its mostly the 99.9999% chance that there will (or should be) a positive test. Amazing year for Polish riders, quite suddenly.

    Are you fucking kidding me? The kid is 24yrs old, and while this year has been highly successful, the results also are a progression of a pretty strong showing in similar races last year. It's not like he's been some middling rider for 10yrs before having an unbelievable year...

    At least he had the stones to try & attack the race, if you want to talk about an uninspiring win, have a look at Gerrans or Malmerde (as much as I'd have cheered an Aussie win) both taking half pulls while their group was chasing Kwiatkowski so that they'd have more left for the sprint. Tactical racing it may be, but the V it ain't.

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