Categories: Velominati Super Prestige

Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012, Stage 11

During the 1969 Tour de France, Felice Gimondi and Ray Poulidor were fined for taking a ride from a lorry up the Tourmalet. What about Merkcx? Well, he was towing the lorry.

Its an old joke, but like any good joke, it stays funny no matter how many times you hear it. I bet it’s even funnier if you know what a lorry is. I knew a girl named Lori once – wasn’t funny at all – though she would give a ride to anyone who asked, so I’m assuming that’s the joke.

Merckx decimated the 1969 Tour in a way we haven’t seen in ages. On July 15 of that year, The Prophet started the day with an almost unassailable lead of somewhere around 8 minutes. Not enough, obviously. So it was, then, that his rivals’ tails wagged at the sight of him flustering with his gears near the top of the Tourmalet. A mechanical, obviously, sure to cost him loads of time. In fact, he was just moving Sur La Plaque into my personal favorite gear for climbing – the 53×17. They wouldn’t see him again that day and four hours later, his solo effort would net him another 8 minutes’ lead.

If anyone at this Tour de France wants to beat Bradley Wiggins, they’re going to have to set aside the in-vogue last-mountain attack or start putting a lot more stock in poisn’d entrails, eyes of newt, and wool of bat. Unless their strategic plan involves deliberately crashing the entirety of Team Sky or having them all come down with a synchronized sniffle, they’re going to have to start riding their bikes hard from a lot farther out than the 5km banner.

Stage 11 is the test, even though Stage 10 is also a test and may already prove me right or wrong (it will be one of those, I’m sure of it). But Stage 11 sees the finish to La Toussuire where Floyd Landis cracked and lost a mountain of time before regaining it the next day and subsequently testing positive for beer-induced testosterone. Its not a very steep climb, but its hard enough to suck if you blow up. It won’t be hard enough to drop an in-form Wiggins, so Nibali and/or Evans will have to hit the road a lot sooner than the last climb if they’re going to start making inroads. And if my boy FrÃ¤nkie Schleck wants a chance at the win, he should probably start the stage today.

It’s time to ride with the breath of a cannibal.

You know the drill: get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero for a chance to win a pair of fizik R3 road shoes and two pair of DeFeet socks.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Listen to your body - Sensations from l'Alpe d'huez »

Previous « The Works: The Official Treasures Of Le Tour de France

View Comments

huwge says:

Jul 12 2012 at 9:13 am

I should've gone for Nibbles and not Cuddles ;-)
napolinige says:

Jul 12 2012 at 9:39 am

I'm watching RAI Sport 2 which is showing the Cronodiscesa di San Remo from the '87 Giro. As a Nibali fan I call for the reinstatement of this type of stage!
frank says:

Jul 12 2012 at 9:39 am

Result confirmed, Noel wins the R3's and two pairs of DeFeet socks. Congratulations, mate!

[vsp_results id="20312"]
[/vsp_results]

For the record, the tie-breaker goes to the contestent to enter their picks earlier when there is a tie. Noel entered the picks about three hours before huwge and therefor takes the win.

It pays to enter the event earlier rather than waiting until the last second.
Buck Rogers says:

Jul 12 2012 at 9:45 am

@Mikael Liddy

@DerHoggz fair enough, I was basing expectations on the same set up as the one day races.

@Buck Rogers last reports he was 5 mins down before the last climb.

Yeah, I think he JUST finished. Actually he came in 14:15 down on the stage winner. Guess he will not be top five this year. Bummer. Also bummed to see Roche come in over six minutes down and fall out of the top ten.
Souleur says:

Jul 12 2012 at 10:06 am

Frank: do we get bonus points for naming riders anywhere in top 5? and does this contribute any to overall GC?

thanks man, i know there is alot of work behind the scene
Souleur says:

Jul 12 2012 at 10:08 am

scratch that Frank, i read up the result

thanks again
Ron says:

Jul 12 2012 at 10:08 am

@LA Dave

@Adrian

Let's not ignore that ride Rolland has put in,fell on the last descent, picked himself up and chased down like a madman risking leg and limb, and has now rode away from the breakaway on la Toussuire, not a bad days work.

+1 great point...I've been too focused on the GC story. Amazing ride by Rolland. Wish I had picked him!

Wow, right...he did crash, huh? With everything going on I did in fact forget that!
Souleur says:

Jul 12 2012 at 10:08 am

well, hard day for Cuddles, blew like a cheap date in las vegas

my man Jurgen may pull it out though
LA Dave says:

Jul 12 2012 at 11:04 am

Gaahhh!!!

Damn team orders. I really believe Froome would have had a shot at the win, and I might have had a shot at some shiny R3's!

Congrats Noel - great picks!
The Oracle says:

Jul 12 2012 at 11:12 am

Fracking zero points. Unbelievable. It's been a while since I posted a donut. On top of that, fucking Not Quite Good Enough Cadel showed up today, making for an all-around dark day for my VSP aspirations. I've got real concerns that Cadel might not be in the final five when all is said and done, much less able to battle back into the second spot.

And all this after sending @wiscot a gloating email last night. Serves me right for opening up my big fat mouth.