Velominati Super Prestige

Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012, Stage 11

During the 1969 Tour de France, Felice Gimondi and Ray Poulidor were fined for taking a ride from a lorry up the Tourmalet. What about Merkcx? Well, he was towing the lorry.

Its an old joke, but like any good joke, it stays funny no matter how many times you hear it. I bet it’s even funnier if you know what a lorry is. I knew a girl named Lori once – wasn’t funny at all – though she would give a ride to anyone who asked, so I’m assuming that’s the joke.

Merckx decimated the 1969 Tour in a way we haven’t seen in ages. On July 15 of that year, The Prophet started the day with an almost unassailable lead of somewhere around 8 minutes. Not enough, obviously. So it was, then, that his rivals’ tails wagged at the sight of him flustering with his gears near the top of the Tourmalet. A mechanical, obviously, sure to cost him loads of time. In fact, he was just moving Sur La Plaque into my personal favorite gear for climbing – the 53×17. They wouldn’t see him again that day and four hours later, his solo effort would net him another 8 minutes’ lead.

If anyone at this Tour de France wants to beat Bradley Wiggins, they’re going to have to set aside the in-vogue last-mountain attack or start putting a lot more stock in poisn’d entrails, eyes of newt, and wool of bat. Unless their strategic plan involves deliberately crashing the entirety of Team Sky or having them all come down with a synchronized sniffle, they’re going to have to start riding their bikes hard from a lot farther out than the 5km banner.

Stage 11 is the test, even though Stage 10 is also a test and may already prove me right or wrong (it will be one of those, I’m sure of it). But Stage 11 sees the finish to La Toussuire where Floyd Landis cracked and lost a mountain of time before regaining it the next day and subsequently testing positive for beer-induced testosterone. Its not a very steep climb, but its hard enough to suck if you blow up. It won’t be hard enough to drop an in-form Wiggins, so Nibali and/or Evans will have to hit the road a lot sooner than the last climb if they’re going to start making inroads. And if my boy Fränkie Schleck wants a chance at the win, he should probably start the stage today.

It’s time to ride with the breath of a cannibal.

You know the drill: get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero for a chance to win a pair of fizik R3 road shoes and two pair of DeFeet socks.

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308 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012, Stage 11”

  1. Wiggins cracks, Froome is conflicted but eventually goes with the bunch.

    Evans takes yellow in an epic performance after taking back a minute the night before via his daredevil attack and descent.

    In doing so, he writes himself into Tour folklore.

    A guy has gotta dream doesn’t he?

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Nibali
    3. Froome
    4. VDB
    5. Menchov

  2. @Marcus

    I so hope your dream comes true! (Not the one about you, minion and a sheep.)

    I want to see Wiggins go out the arse, a la Landis, then blow up in the press conference, call The Badger a cock and get punched in the face, then test positive the next day. See, my dreams are as fucked up as anyone’s!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Nibbles
    2. Cuddles
    3. VdB
    4. Froome
    5. Visible Denis

  3. I expect to see Nibbles make some big efforts with the final descent tomorrow. Fingers crossed big time for me.

    For stage 11 I’m not really sure. But I really want those shoes.

  4. Don’t know if today will be wiggo’s jour sans, but reckon it’ll be the day he starts looking over his shoulder at his team-mate, if he isn’t already…

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Froome
    2. Evans
    3. Martin
    4. Nibali
    5. Wiggins

  5. VSP PICKS:

    1. Vincenzo Nibali
    2. Cadel Evans
    3. Robert Gesink
    4. Bradley Wiggins
    5. Danny Menchov

  10. Think I may wait til after stage 10 to guess about this one.

    The favs might be too busy watching each other.

    I’m thinking there might be a surprise winner for this one, like De Gendt on the Stelvio.

  11. Yeah these are governed more by heart than head, but that’s what being a fan’s about. Good thing I don’t need another pair of shoes.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cuddles
    2. Nibbles
    3. Froome
    4. Jurgen VDB
    5. Rolland Dirty

  14. Shrek goes mad but blows himself to smithereens – wiggins and evans followed with the other three tagging along behind. Everyone is busy worrying about Wiggins and Froome takes it.

    Or hendo wins because he’s just a freakin legend..

    VSP PICKS:

    1. froome
    2. evans
    3. Jurgen VDB
    4. wiggins
    5. nibali

  17. Schleck is going to step up, because there’s nothing left for him to do.  During the jour sans, he will have grown up, come to the realization that he actually wants this and is willing to risk everything for it.  He will attack on stage 10 to feel out the leaders, will win or come close on stage 10, and then go balls (he’ll have grown a pair by then) out.  Stage 11 will be the last day Froome serves Wiggo who will have started to crack on stage 10, and will bring joy to the wankers and cunts by blowing up on 11.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Schleck Elder
    2. Froome
    3. Nibali
    4. Cadel
    5. Teejay

  19. Wiggins is making me worry after that time trial, hopefully BMC does some damage…soon.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Nibali
    2. Sanchez
    3. Cadel
    4. Gesink
    5. Wiggins

  21. those are some sweet goodies on offer. I hope to see Cuddles in the lead at the end of Stage 11 but it won’t be enough stop Wiggins from winning the GC.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Froome
    2. Cuddles
    3. JVDB
    4. Wiggins
    5. Nibali

  23. VSP PICKS:

    1. Frank Schleck
    2. Cadel Evans
    3. Vincenzo Nibali
    4. Bradley Wiggins
    5. Jurgen Van Den Broeck

  25. Three manbreakaway take the podium, Wiggo turns sideways and falls into a crack in the road, let of the leash Froome chases and is followed by Evans.c

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Moncoutie
    2. Roche
    3. Millar
    4. Froome
    5. Evans

  26. VSP PICKS:

    1. Rui Costa
    2. Van Den Broeck
    3. Evans
    4. Nibali
    5. Wiggins

  29. Wow, I was pumped up last year over just the shop apron & decals. This year – shoes and socks? Incredible.

    Is there an idea why Nibali is such a great descender? Some lads are just good, some rode mtn bikes – growing up in Sicily, maybe?

  31. VSP PICKS:

    1. Schleck
    2. Evans
    3. Van Den Broeck
    4. Nibali
    5. Wiggens

  32. VSP PICKS:

    1. Rein Taaramae
    2. Rui Costa
    3. Cadel Evans
    4. Tejay Vangarderen
    5. Frank Schleck

  33. Breakaway will get reeled in and leaders will mark each other until the 5k banner. Not much will change. Maybe it will be a day of crazy attacks, but I don’t think it will.

  36. Lock it in

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Froome
    3. Wiggins
    4. Nibali
    5. Menchov

  38. VSP PICKS:

    1. Aussie Winger
    2. Nibbles
    3. Froome Froome
    4. J VDB
    5. Twiggo

  39. Gotta change, don;t think the Aussie is gonna turn himself inside out on this one so I’m gonna change to…

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Taaramae
    2. Nibbles
    3. Froome Froome
    4. Evans
    5. Twiggo

  40. I don’t think Schleck cares, nor does he have the form. Nibbles can win this and get a fatter contract with the Kazakhs next year. Cuddles needs this – it’s now or never bumchin. Froogles will keep Wiggles safe and limit losses – they’re riding to protect yellow and will save glory for later. Which leaves me with Jurgles. Go Jurgles you big Belgian, go.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Nibbles
    2. Cuddles
    3. Froogles
    4. Wiggles
    5. Jurgles

  45. I must be dumb as f**k as my front runners are from the flatlands……

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Gesink
    2. Van den Broeck
    3. Froome
    4. Evans
    5. Schleck

  46. Who’s dragging who up the mountains on team Radioschleck Leotard?  After today’s stage full of epic attacks, Cuddles, Wiggo, and Nibbles won’t be able to to anything tomorrow other than hang onto wheels.  Jens tows the team through most of the stage and wrecks himself on the Col de la Madelaine, and then actually dies from the ascent to the Croix de Fer.  Horner and Zubeldia do the rest of the work, leaving Schleck and Monfort steam up to the top of the mountain and into La Toussuirefor a little bit of redemption.  Wiggo and Cadel the let Scheck cross the line first out of pity.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Frankenschleck
    2. Cuddles
    3. Wiggo
    4. Nibbles
    5. Monfort

  48. Boss-Hoggraiding his tail off again for Wiggo. The man is definitely one of the unsung heros of that team

  49. Fredrik Kessiakoff, Sweden, Pro Team Astana, best individual climber from stage 9.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. EVANS
    2. PINOT
    3. NIBALI
    4. KESSIAKOFF
    5. FROOME

  50. Wiggins just wants to hold his time compared to Cuddles who will bust a gut but ultimately pull no time out of Twiggo because Vroominator will pull out another stage win at the end.  Nilbbles will remain in the wings and Frankie will push hard but ultimately lose out to the pure climbing in form thoroughbreds……this is one pick where I won’t be putting Sagan in the top 5!!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Froome
    2. Wiggins
    3. Cuddles
    4. Nibbles
    5. Frank Schleck

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