Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@Mikael Liddy @DerHoggz
That vid clip of Greipel is amazing, the foot down stuff is blind reaction speed, but to avoid the flying bike as well? Phenomenal. Maybe he’s not just a big lunk after all!
@Mikael Liddy
He is pretty upset about not being able to contest any sprints according to this (Blazin’ Saddles is great) and I imagine he just snapped.
He is pissed:
I’m now regretting saying bad words about Tyler Farrar. His past three days have contained the most horrendous luck. Hope his injuries heal and that he’s competative again before the end of the tour.
@Giles Greipel’s move to stay upright was right up there with Favilli’s bunny hop from the end of stage three of the Giro. Amazing bike handling skills!
Has Tyler got jocks under his knicks?? VPL? How does that sit within the rules??? Flagrant abuse of at least Rule #53 I would think. AND NO I WASN”T STARING AT HIS GROIN.
(On an aside I did baulk at Rule #33 since I have a son named Baxter who is 8…. I feel upholding Rule #33 would probably lead to jail time)
@Giles wonder whether it might be bandaging from his previous tarmac excursions?
@Chris
@Giles
Nah. I reckon what you’re looking at is simply the way the knicks are made. It either is a different type of Lycra, or is on a different orientation.
@Chris
At least Faboo is looking sharp in his yellow helmet. Much better than those stupid looking helmets the sky boys have got on with the vents welded shut.
@Adrian Yellow leading team version aside, I quite like those Kask helmets, the black/blue sky looks quite good. Not as bad as Greipel’s “my helemet sponsor is too cheap to develop a new lid so has just glued on a cover to meet UCI rules” Lazer.
It also sounds like Kask will have to start sell their “welded shut” lids to be able to supply them to the teams under the UCI regulations. I’d have one for Rule #9 days.
It did it’s job for Cav though.
Begs the question o whether they’re structurally more sound than the vented versions.
Re: T-bone – thanks for the responses all. Dude’s been having a terrible string of days on the bike and this being the part of the race suited to him he’s really got nothing to look forward too I’d imagine. I don’t really see why, just based on the video, he went after the Argos Shimsham rider though. It looked to me like he was trying to squeeze into the dimeslot between him and Ale-jet and the Argos dude was just trying to keep himself upright.
Phil Liggett gets it right describing the Farrar/ Veelers incident: ” You never lean on a Dutchman – they don’t move.”
@Chris I’d like to see the inside. I reckon it’s the same structurally, just with a different plastic shell.
@ten B I suspect you’re probably right. I’d still quite like one.
These early breaks are a bit of a yawn. Yesterday they showed some panache but I’m getting a bit bored of blatant product placement.
I keep wishing that one day I’ll tune in to find George, Stuey, Jens and Veino with a 5 minute gap…
@Chris
I guess I just don’t see the difference between a helmet with permanently covered vents and the Lazer with the aeroshell. Why does it need to be glued on? Griepel was seen on camera changing from the standard Helium to the one with the aeroshell on it prior to the run in to the finish yesterday. If the UCI is going to allow that, why not just allow people to pop an aeroshell on their helmet temporarily? I have one of the aeroshells for my Lazer Genesis (best helmet I’ve ever worn) and its quite nice for Rule #9 conditions.
@harminator
Think of it like test cricket – as you are from a civilised society IIRC.
Long breakaways are the sessions where the bowlers are trundling in but not getting much movement and the batsman at the crease are the type who just like to keep the scoreboard ticking over. You can ‘watch’ it but at the same time read the newspaper, make you lunch, surf the net and make some phone calls.
It provides contrast to the moment when there is a sudden collapse or a bowler is being hit all over the ground.
And like yesterday it heightens the excitement when the break is caught within sight of the line. Yes you COULD have turned on and watched the last 45 seconds but you would not have appreciated the agony, effort and uncertainty over the end result.
@Chris
Think SKY wears the Vertigo. KASK makes a true medium size also — Italy Made!
@harminator
Logic these days is that an early break will keep you out of trouble until the last 100 meters.
@Chris
Sorry Chris, just can’t get used to them. They make me think of Kryten of Red Dwarf every time I see them. I’m sure the science is sound and they give you that extra millisecond of aero but they are not made to be pretty.
As for those Rule #9 days I’ll just stick to the good old cap
@VeloVita
I am in luuooovve with the 2012 Lazer Genesis. I must have one.
@ChrisO
Yes but don’t we all like the break away to try to stay away? Yesterday was great – they held steady and then fired the howitzers with 20km to go and almost made it.
Lame when they get swallowed with 20km to go and seem to never have had a plan to actually win the stage.
Strange to live in this day and age where you can elect to Tweet the likes of Cancellara and Wiggins.
@harminator
that guy from ETA was pretty close yesterday – and Keisse’s moment in Turkey still ranks as my favourite moment of the year, which was a breakout from a break, rest is history
Early days yet
@VeloVita An excellent point. Either the UCI rules or their enforcement of them are a farce.
@Adrian For Rule #9 (Rain) days the cap is good but my woolly hat doesn’t fit so well under my Prolight so well on Rule #9 (Sleet/Snow) + (Less than 10C + Wind + Rain) days. Obviously not an issue in Malysia.
@versio I does have one, it’s fantastic but the vents in their Large size does not fit a pair of Oakleys on the front.
@Chris If one feels they need to save about 4-5 watts, one can buy a clear plastic cover to fit over one’s Lazer from their website.
Just quietly, how good would it be to be in the break with DZ making the pace…unfortunately you’ve got two of the hardest nuts in the peloton in Gerro & Stuey chasing you.
FUCK ME!
He can proper sprint too!
ryder :'(
@Mikael Liddy
Holy shit! Who is this kid? The overhead view really demonstrated Sagan’s speed and power.
@Steampunk yup, didn’t think he had it earlier in the week when he was getting pushed around in the proper sprints.
Today was a pretty good response.
@Steampunk other thing you see from the overhead is that Sagan was on the wheel of the bloke who snapped his chain, no worries, he just steers around him then floors it and overtakes everyone!
Awesome for Sagan.
Loved DZ’s interview – journo asked him a stupid question about whether his ride was a reaction to the doping investigation and rumours. He politely said “No, it was just bike racing.”
OMG Van Summeren crossing the line… looking like he’s been caught in a bomb blast.
Sagan is amazing. He answered pretty much the only question I still had about him, and that was whether he could compete against the pure sprinters on the flat. I know Cav wasn’t there today, but Goss and Greipel are top tier and he blew by them with no problems.
Van Summeren just crossing the line now, 16 minutes down. Looks like he was in a tornado, shoe blown up, maillot shredded, helmet scraped and bloody. Hell of a day out there.
Slight update in the standings…posting from almost zero connectivity so hopefully this works…
Provisional Race Results
1. CANCELLARA Fabian
2. WIGGINS Bradley
3. CHAVANEL Sylvain
4. VAN GARDEREN Tejay
5. MENCHOV Denis
Provisional VSP Standings
1. Cyclops (20 points)
2. Marko (20 points)
3. Alex (20 points)
4. Karl (20 points)
5. Blah (20 points)
6. Cchern (20 points)
7. sthilzy (18 points)
8. Erik (18 points)
9. Rigid (18 points)
10. Chasquimorgan (18 points)
11. sean (18 points)
12. DR5150 (18 points)
13. frank (15 points)
14. Nukatpiat (15 points)
15. napolinige (15 points)
16. mouse (15 points)
17. Minion (15 points)
18. scaler911 (15 points)
19. Kah (15 points)
20. Duende (15 points)
21. Two Ball Billy (15 points)
22. eightzero (15 points)
23. Xyverz (15 points)
24. Mikael Liddy (15 points)
25. il ciclista medio (15 points)
26. versio (15 points)
27. VeloAU (15 points)
28. King Clydesdale (15 points)
29. ten B (15 points)
30. the Engine (15 points)
31. anotherdownunder (15 points)
32. GProsser (15 points)
33. schmiken (15 points)
34. Anast Demitt (15 points)
35. starclimber (15 points)
36. Tobin (15 points)
37. ralph (15 points)
38. seemunkee (15 points)
39. dancollins (15 points)
40. RayElVis (15 points)
41. harminator (15 points)
42. Rick (15 points)
43. Frank Ramos (15 points)
44. Craig Chambers (15 points)
45. brianc (15 points)
46. Tomislav (15 points)
47. JC Belgium (15 points)
48. Skip (15 points)
49. Souleur (15 points)
50. Heihachi (15 points)
51. PRbadlegs (15 points)
52. Markp (15 points)
53. Belgian Cobblestones (15 points)
54. Mike Honcho (15 points)
55. ifurley (15 points)
56. Islandbike (15 points)
57. Benny (15 points)
58. ChrisO (15 points)
59. Jeff in PetroMetro (15 points)
60. pakrat (15 points)
61. drewPjohnson (15 points)
62. Simon (15 points)
63. Painkiller (15 points)
64. Matt (15 points)
65. dunderleif (15 points)
66. Erik Olsen (15 points)
67. Tartan1749 (10 points)
68. Skinnyphat (8 points)
69. Ruskerdu (8 points)
70. Marcus (8 points)
71. Nic (8 points)
72. MJ Moquin (8 points)
73. Bill (8 points)
74. Mikel Pearce (8 points)
75. TraJoM (8 points)
76. Aidas (7 points)
77. Sauterelle (7 points)
78. Mark1 (6 points)
79. Paco (6 points)
80. Bianchi Denti (6 points)
81. Fausto (6 points)
82. gino (6 points)
83. JCS4 (6 points)
84. gaswepass (6 points)
85. Buck Rogers (6 points)
86. CanuckChuck (6 points)
87. The Fish (6 points)
88. graham d.m. (6 points)
89. Phil Schneider (6 points)
90. Gianni (6 points)
91. pink (3 points)
92. simonsaunders (3 points)
93. RedRanger (3 points)
94. Daccordi Rider (3 points)
95. wiscot (3 points)
96. Harry (3 points)
97. San Tonio (3 points)
98. R00tdown (3 points)
99. mrhallorann (3 points)
100. Flying Crowbar (3 points)
101. Giles (3 points)
102. moondance (3 points)
103. itburns (3 points)
104. Trobs (3 points)
105. Smithers (3 points)
106. Chappy McPappystackings (3 points)
107. sar02 (3 points)
108. Modtastic (3 points)
109. american psycho (3 points)
110. tessar (3 points)
111. J-hump (3 points)
112. Rev.C.Mac (3 points)
113. ramenvelo (3 points)
114. nico (3 points)
115. imakecircles (3 points)
116. Belgian Boys Club (3 points)
117. Oli (3 points)
118. RMK (3 points)
119. hammermama (3 points)
120. mrdriftless (3 points)
121. TOM.NELS2120 (3 points)
122. Pirata with Pasta (3 points)
123. meursault (3 points)
124. brett (3 points)
125. G’rilla (3 points)
126. 936adl (3 points)
127. huffalotpuffalot (3 points)
128. Ankush (3 points)
129. kowala (3 points)
130. Deakus (3 points)
131. Chris (3 points)
132. taon24 (3 points)
133. Adrian (3 points)
134. Eddie Bell (3 points)
135. tony macaroni (3 points)
136. TomC (3 points)
137. VeloVita (3 points)
138. Anais Ninja (3 points)
139. Vince (3 points)
140. SimonH (3 points)
141. Lindrop (3 points)
142. razmaspaz (3 points)
143. Nosyt (3 points)
144. snoov (3 points)
145. Dr C (3 points)
146. al (3 points)
147. El Mateo (3 points)
148. celestialdrive (3 points)
149. blue (3 points)
150. LA Dave (3 points)
151. Ron (3 points)
152. VirenqueForever (3 points)
153. sgt (3 points)
154. The Oracle (3 points)
155. payaso (3 points)
156. Kyle (3 points)
157. Lepidopterist (3 points)
158. Nate (3 points)
159. Roberto Marques (3 points)
160. Casey Arnold (3 points)
161. velomihottie (3 points)
162. Kedan (3 points)
163. calves (3 points)
164. Pablo Colletti (3 points)
165. Don juan (3 points)
166. Azzurri Tim (3 points)
167. el gato (3 points)
168. ben (3 points)
169. Lister (3 points)
170. Topcover (3 points)
171. Chuckk (3 points)
172. Steve Swift (3 points)
173. ErikdR (3 points)
174. Jonny (3 points)
175. motor city (3 points)
176. Papageno (3 points)
177. Enoch (3 points)
178. mcsqueak (3 points)
179. DaRCrider (3 points)
180. actor1 (3 points)
181. feef (3 points)
182. Blake (3 points)
183. Dan_R (3 points)
184. cal (3 points)
185. sprider (3 points)
186. Jay (3 points)
187. Mason (3 points)
188. elrond (3 points)
189. Noel (3 points)
190. DerHoggz (3 points)
191. godsight (3 points)
192. shep (3 points)
193. NRMontgomery (3 points)
194. McTavish (3 points)
195. roleur510 (3 points)
196. roadslave525 (3 points)
197. Geordi (3 points)
198. G’phant (3 points)
199. xyxax (3 points)
200. MrLowell (3 points)
201. Lukas (0 points)
202. noiyce (0 points)
203. Phil (0 points)
204. Bike Jonez (0 points)
@ChrisO
Fucking hard…no doubt he’ll line up tomorrow as well.
If ever there was further condemnation necessary of Mike ‘surely an Aussie will win’ Tomolaris (the know nothing host out here in Aus) is an absolute spanner, all he was interested in talking about when JVS came across the line was about the podium presentation for Faboo that hadn’t even started yet.
How about actually recognising 1. What your broadcast is showing & 2. An absolute hardman who has decided to ignore the flesh shredder he’s been through & still ridden the 25k’s to the finish?
Nah it’s better to act like an absolute muppet & try to wonder why there’s not an Aussie in the Maillot Jaune yet.
@metalface
+1-my man, one of my top 5 in the picks is gone
Just making sure I still got the Maillot Jaune.
@versio
I got one a little while ago. Great lid.
@Nate
I researched and decided on KASK K.50 EVO — only for the sake of a true medium fit. And purchase direct from KASK.
@versio
Cool. Fit is everything — there are a number of helmets that look good in the abstract but a lot of them don’t fit my pinhead very well.
@Cyclops
Nice rub it in bro…but like the tradition is, enjoy it the first week while it lasts, it looks to change hands sunday
@Souleur
makes me angry like WHY THE F*** couldn’t they AT THE FRONT or SOMEWHERE ELSE… but obviously it’s not so simple…
@Cyclops
Hey, it’s who’s got it in Paris that counts for the swag!
@ChrisO
Here’s the link from Sporza. There would have been no shame in climbing into the ambulance if he hurts as bad as he looks:
http://www.sporza.be/cm/sporza/videozone/MG_Tour/MG_verslagen_nieuws/1.1358377
Only NASCAR fans like crashes… although the aftermaths do show who the true hardmen are. Kudos to JVS, and to Greipel for sprinting, if as reported he has a separated shoulder. Fuck me, that had to hurt! (looks like it did on the video).
Crashes are part of the first week; kudos to those teams keeping their GC guys safe at the front, brickbats to those who haven’t (Vaughters, I’m looking at you…)
Frack! With Stage 7 being just two hours down the road, we were looking forward to standing on the slopes tomorrow and screaming. Unfortunately, the creeping crud has worked its way through the house.
But no matter. The damage was done today.
@sgt
I do feel like in recent years the unnecessarily complex finishing run ups are a purposeful effort to induce crashes. Most likely to bring in the “American” crowd. Its quite disgusting to watch Phil and Paul bash the tour organizers for designing these routes, while I’m almost certain the NBC contract includes a crash clause in it.