Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
Since Ryder pulled of the Giro for me against all odds, I might as well see if I can pull a double with him as team leader. I’m guessing that Wiggo has some mechanical or falls dropping him out of the running. Sky has a history of bad luck.
VSP PICKS:
1. Ryder Hesjedal
2. Cadel Evans
3. Levi Leipheimer
4. Robert Gesink
5. Tom Danielson
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. Twiggo
3. Rolland Dirty
4. Nibbles
5. Golden Sammy
I just don’t think the Mod Father can keep the form going all the way to Paris…Cuddles FTW!
My money’s on G’phant over the fish BTW
VSP PICKS:
1. Good Cadel
2. Wiggo
3. Sam San
4. Nibbles
5. Vulvarde
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Hesjedel
3. Van Der Broek
4. Gesink
5. Leipheimer
My apologies for picking only one Belgian Boy, but they don’t seem to ride so well over three weeks!
VSP PICKS:
1. Bradley Wiggins
2. Cadel Evans
3. Vincenzo Nibali
4. Jurgen van den Broeck
5. Pierre Rolland
VSP PICKS:
1. WIGGINS
2. NIBALI
3. EVANS
4. GERRANS
5. SCARPONI
@minion
Had a chat with a cool cat Steven this week about this very subject. I think he correctly divined that with the Olympics being the perfect worst-possible distance from the end of the Tour, Cav will win stages 1-7 and head for the Olympics. I think he might have nailed it. Green Jersey or not.
Goss shouldn’t even look at Cav and just focus on Green himself. It would go nicely with his bibs.
I think Evans is going to use his superior descending skills to scratch out time gaps from Wiggo who is going to beat him in the time trials, but not by much. Wiggins could also crash under pressure if he’s isolated after the climbs (although with the strength of SKY I can’t see that happening). Menchov is strong in the time trial and is my dark horse pick. I’m watching for Hoogerland and Rolland in the KOM jersey. But really I don’t have a f@#$*&^% clue and would love to win some swagbag goodies, thanks to the sponsors especially the PAVE boys – you rock
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Menchov
4. Schleck
5. Nibali
Where are G’phant and the Fish? I want to see your picks! Keeping cards close to chest no doubt
VSP PICKS:
1. WIGGINS
2. NIBALI
3. EVANS
4. GERRANS
5. VALVERDE
Sean Yates will have Wiggins where he needs to be.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Hesjedal
4. van den Broeck
5. Cavendish
@frank
Mad props for the lead photo BTW (and let’s face it, you coulda picked anyone). You know how I feel about the Irish………
I will put my picks in soon. Because the thing of it is, as a strategy to win the VSP, you bet against Wiggo and Evans and if you choose right, and they fall, you win the TdF VSP.
Or, we’re really all playing for trying to figure out third place, aren’t we?
I shall sleep on it.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel Evans
2. Robert Gesink
3. Jurgen Van Den Broeck
4. Bradley Wiggins
5. Vincenzo Nibali
@frank
Good point about Goss, and Sagan as well, I think the green jersey race is going to be between those two. Kittel and Griepel are monsters who are going to be in the mix but not for the overall, they’re just too big to get across the intermediate sprint points Goss and Sagan can pick up.
I think there’s going to be some baffling riding done by Cav, (win 1-7 then depart: slog through the second week then abandon; burn matches supporting Wiggo while he can to the detriment of stage wins) which will either all make sense after he wins the Olympics, or will be fuel for the fire that he’s bound to get roasted on if he doesn’t win the Olympics.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel
2. Wiggo
3. Nibali
4. Hesjedal
5. Sagan
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Van Garderen
3. Scarponi
4. Vandevelde
5. Hesjedal
I fear Wiggo may crash out since he lacks any flesh to absorb the impact. Evans will have a traumatic mishap and the team will work for Tejay. Hesjedal may also have an upset which is why Vandevelde is in there. Gesink though…and Scarponi…
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Frank
4. Hesjedal
5. Sanchez
Arrgghhhh! I have to go for Twiggo (sorry @Brett).
If we are still doing the justification thing then 1 and 2 are self-explanatory (and interchangeable), 3 has been building all year and just won the Russian TT champs, 4 had better perfom or else, and 5 will be up there purely by leading Wiggins up to the summits.
Or something else will happen.
Congrats and thanks to the Keepers for engaging an impressive selection of top-notch sponsors. I swear by De-Feet Wooleators as year-round socks. Give them a go, people!
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Menchov
4. Nibali
5. Froome
no point playing it safe if you won’t send the beer
wiggins to be blown off course in second time trial after doing really well- he should win one year but a few near misses make a better story
VSP PICKS:
1. evans
2. rogers
3. sanchez
4. porte
5. zabriskie
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Gesink
4. Rolland
5. Hesjedal
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Gesink
4. Sanchez
5. Hesjedal
Pedalwan picks from other, wiser Velominati…
New to the cycling game, but loving it. First time I will be following the tour in earnest this year. Did take a look at the rules, but if my picks are wrong? as in, you have to pick from certain teams maybe, then keepers feel free to modify, I don’t know what I am doing so substitute for anybody else. Grazie, buona fortuna.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Schleck
4. Nibali
5. Sanchez
@meursault
You’ve done well there…
VSP PICKS:
1. Ned Kelly
2. Look straight ahead
3. Monty Sideburns
4. Niblets
5. Dodger
I’m taking all the dark horses on this one.
VSP PICKS:
1. Frank Schleck
2. Sylvain Chavanel
3. Samuel Sanchez
4. Tom Danielson
5. Ivan Basso
Allez Wiggo!
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cuddles
3. Froome
4. Nibbles
5. Hesjedal
Conventional wisdom won’t win me any swag, as I’m too far down in the SuperPrestige. So, I’m going to bet that Cadel and Wiggo do NOT make it to Paris. I see Wiggo crashing out sometime in the first two weeks. Cadel will fall to a stomach bug soon thereafter. Schleckelder, freed from the clutches of the ever-needy Andy, will dominate the mountains, but see that domination tempered in the time trials and will come to realize that the Curse of Andy is actually the Curse of the Schlecks — always the bridesmaid, never the bride (unless the bride get’s so stinkin’ high that she gets tossed out of her own wedding). Porte and Tejay will benefit from their respective teams turning to support them when their respective leaders have crashed out, but it will be too late to catch Levi and Fronk. Nibali, as the favorite after the two pre-Tour giants fall out, will have bad luck here and there and simply won’t have the legs to make up the time.
VSP PICKS:
1. Levi Leipheimer
2. Frank Schleck
3. Porte
4. Tejay van Garderen
5. Nibali
Sagan takes green, naturally.
VSP PICKS:
1. Jurgen Van Den Broeck
2. Bradley Wiggins
3. Cadel Evans
4. Levi Leipheimer
5. Robert Gesink
And who is the captain for Movistar? Costa or Valverde?
I only give to Sideburns because I believe he has the stronger team, especially with Cavendish focusing more on the olympics than the green jersey. I am also thinking that Hoogerland is taking red and Sagan is taking Green. Whatever happens I am looking forward to some epic racing.
VSP PICKS:
1. Sideburns
2. Cuddles
3. Nibbles
4. Broeck
5. Gesink
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cuddles
3. Hesjedal
4. Leipheimer
5. Van Den Broeck
Would like to see Johnny Priikkeldraad in the Pois Rouge, and think Gossy will nip Sagan for the points in week 3. Obviously with Rollaids in 5th, he’ll be wearing white.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. Wee guns
3. Guessing
4. Hesjedal
5. Rollaids
For good measure: Sagan gets the green and 1/2 the tour’s stages, Schleck the elder grabbs the dotted jersey and Rolland rides into Paris in white.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Hesjedal
4. Froome
5. Rolland
Mmm I feel somehow rubbish for being so lame on the top 3 but barring the inevitable crash out it’s probably the only way to go. Hesjedal looks in form and Sagan could finally be hungry enough to show what he can do. Nibali/Sagan…Sagan/Nibali the team looks a bit of a two header so Im going with youth….however I will be at the finish line of stage 4 with a broom stick, knocking over anyone not in my top 5. My only questions is; is this too early in the Tour to be taking this kind of direct action?…Maybe I should go to the mountains where they go by a bit slower and are more strung out and easier to poke…stepping in front of the peloton at full gas on a sprint finish could mean my death before any of the GC contenders arrive!
VSP PICKS:
1. Bradley Wiggins
2. Frank Schlek
3. Cadel Evans
4. Ryder Hesjedal
5. Peter Sagan
I feel boring and predictable…
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. Wiggo
3. Grimpelder
4. Hesjedal
5. Guessing
‘rse face falls off trying to escape Wiggo down a mountain.
King Cav shows his humility in domestique service but fails to retain his colours in the face of a strong challenge from the young pretender, Sagan. A week later her adds the Olympic rings to his rainbow bands.
VSP PICKS:
1. Arise Sir Bradley of Wiggton
2. Visconte Nibali
3. Ryder Hesjedal OC
4. Christoper Froome MBE
5. Lieuwe Westra Honourable Mention
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Valverde
4. Nibali
5. F Schleck
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Van den Broeck
5. Hesjedal
Sponsors wow, keepers you have out done yourselves again! Previous form say I will nothing though!
Had to go with Brad to remain nationalistic. Had to include the Friesian due to my chosen home. Fryslan boppe!
Paris – Nice was a real test of my loyalties!
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Hesjedal
4. Gesink
5. Westra
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Nibali
4. Dan Martin
5. Robert Gesink
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Van Den Broeck
3. Evans
4. Hesjedal
5. Cavendish
VSP PICKS:
1. hesjedal
2. froome
3. porte
4. evans
5. fronk
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggo
3. Sagan
4. Voekler
5. Basso
Sorry, being a dumbass. Can someone edit my post or show me how to do it please?
VSP PICKS:
1. wiggins
2. evans
3. gesink
4. nibali
5. schleck
If Wiggo doesn’t do it this year, he never will. And putting in 100km vertical) in Tenerife has to help what was already impressive form.
Bum Chin Evans will run him a close 2nd but will be out-TTed to yellow. Nibbles angst and Giro avoidance will give him 3rd with strong showings in the hills from Samuel-San and Denis Denis rounding out the top 5. And no Grimpelder because he’s got as much chance of getting top 5 with that many TT Kms as I have of winning the Vuelta.
Damn I want those shoes though! Come on Wiggo…
VSP PICKS:
1. Go Go Wiggo
2. Bum Chin
3. Nibbles
4. Menchov
5. Dirty Sanchez