Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012

Rule #22 Compliant, in spades.

We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.

So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, ArmskinsKneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.

Gianni’s Ruminations

Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.

I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.

The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.

Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.

I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.

Brett’s Misconceptions

It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.

Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.

Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.

Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.

None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.

Marko’s Reckoning

The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.

In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.

Frank’s Delusions

It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.

I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.

The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.

Epilogue

Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.

The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.

Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.

View Comments

  • Holy fuck, Vino taking the podium hat to an all-time low...

    He's been watching Samuel Jackson red carpet events too often.

  • The GC is also updated after the conclusion of the Tour. Fausto moves into the lead with xyxax in second, with The Fish moving down into third.

    2012 VSP G.C.

    1. Fausto (138 points)
    2. xyxax (123 points)
    3. The Fish (122 points)
    4. G'phant (121 points)
    5. San Tonio (118 points)
    6. Gianni (117 points)
    7. Blah (113 points)
    8. taon24 (113 points)
    9. Trobs (110 points)
    10. ramenvelo (109 points)
    11. Ankush (106 points)
    12. blue (103 points)
    13. Ron (102 points)
    14. motor city (101 points)
    15. dancollins (100 points)
    16. Buck Rogers (99 points)
    17. Skinnyphat (99 points)
    18. Bianchi Denti (99 points)
    19. Lukas (98 points)
    20. SimonH (96 points)
    21. CanuckChuck (95 points)
    22. Mikel Pearce (94 points)
    23. Bill (94 points)
    24. R00tdown (94 points)
    25. Mason (93 points)
    26. snoov (90 points)
    27. Lepidopterist (89 points)
    28. Noel (89 points)
    29. Chris (88 points)
    30. mouse (86 points)
    31. Flying Crowbar (85 points)
    32. calves (84 points)
    33. pink (83 points)
    34. Markp (83 points)
    35. Nate (83 points)
    36. Nosyt (82 points)
    37. 936adl (82 points)
    38. Azzurri Tim (82 points)
    39. Marcus (81 points)
    40. gaswepass (81 points)
    41. napolinige (81 points)
    42. Marko (80 points)
    43. scaler911 (79 points)
    44. VeloVita (79 points)
    45. wiscot (78 points)
    46. el gato (77 points)
    47. Belgian Cobblestones (77 points)
    48. simonsaunders (75 points)
    49. Rigid (75 points)
    50. The Oracle (74 points)
    51. tony macaroni (74 points)
    52. LA Dave (74 points)
    53. Skip (74 points)
    54. Simon (72 points)
    55. TomC (72 points)
    56. Erik (71 points)
    57. Mikael Liddy (70 points)
    58. Heihachi (70 points)
    59. Geordi (70 points)
    60. TOM.NELS2120 (70 points)
    61. RedRanger (69 points)
    62. payaso (69 points)
    63. nico (66 points)
    64. Islandbike (66 points)
    65. Calmante (65 points)
    66. Cyclops (65 points)
    67. Tartan1749 (65 points)
    68. Chappy McPappystackings (64 points)
    69. moondance (63 points)
    70. Roadslave525 (62 points)
    71. il ciclista medio (62 points)
    72. razmaspaz (62 points)
    73. mcsqueak (62 points)
    74. zac (62 points)
    75. seemunkee (61 points)
    76. Danger (60 points)
    77. RayElVis (60 points)
    78. sprider (59 points)
    79. MJMoquin (58 points)
    80. Adrian (58 points)
    81. Alex (57 points)
    82. Dan_R (56 points)
    83. Benj (55 points)
    84. Steampunk (54 points)
    85. Two Ball Billy (54 points)
    86. noiyce (53 points)
    87. acciaio (53 points)
    88. LastBoyScout (53 points)
    89. Netraam (52 points)
    90. niksch (52 points)
    91. Roberto Marques (51 points)
    92. sthilzy (51 points)
    93. ChrisO (50 points)
    94. King Clydesdale (50 points)
    95. Dr C (50 points)
    96. DaRCrider (49 points)
    97. Rev.C.Mac (49 points)
    98. tomb (48 points)
    99. JC Belgium (48 points)
    100. sgraha (48 points)
    101. huffalotpuffalot (48 points)
    102. pakrat (47 points)
    103. Jay (46 points)
    104. brett (45 points)
    105. Jonny (44 points)
    106. godsight (44 points)
    107. imakecircles (44 points)
    108. Kyle (43 points)
    109. GProsser (43 points)
    110. DerHoggz (42 points)
    111. ben (42 points)
    112. Spicy McHaggis (41 points)
    113. the Engine (41 points)
    114. Vin'cenza (41 points)
    115. eightzero (40 points)
    116. ash (40 points)
    117. trustnoone (40 points)
    118. Oldschooly (40 points)
    119. diablo (39 points)
    120. Deakus (39 points)
    121. Tobin (38 points)
    122. Jeff in PetroMetro (38 points)
    123. Belgian Boys Club (37 points)
    124. Oli (37 points)
    125. al (36 points)
    126. frank (36 points)
    127. Xponti (36 points)
    128. itburns (36 points)
    129. draffenator (36 points)
    130. mattd (35 points)
    131. graham d.m. (34 points)
    132. ajn124 (33 points)
    133. Aidas (33 points)
    134. Jarvis (33 points)
    135. paolo (33 points)
    136. Chuckk (33 points)
    137. sgt (32 points)
    138. Louutah (32 points)
    139. Dino (32 points)
    140. harminator (31 points)
    141. Sam (30 points)
    142. Souleur (30 points)
    143. mrhallorann (30 points)
    144. Modtastic (30 points)
    145. MrLowell (30 points)
    146. Paco (28 points)
    147. kowala (28 points)
    148. JCS4 (28 points)
    149. VirenqueForever (27 points)
    150. Anais Ninja (26 points)
    151. sar02 (26 points)
    152. Kedan (26 points)
    153. McTavish (26 points)
    154. Steampunk (26 points)
    155. taylorgibson (25 points)
    156. cchern (25 points)
    157. sauterelle (25 points)
    158. Harry (23 points)
    159. Mark1 (23 points)
    160. Eddie Bell (23 points)
    161. Lindrop (23 points)
    162. Pablo Colletti (23 points)
    163. cal (23 points)
    164. shep (23 points)
    165. Papageno (22 points)
    166. RMK (22 points)
    167. Anjin-san (21 points)
    168. stenbak (21 points)
    169. actor1 (21 points)
    170. Ruskerdu (20 points)
    171. tessar (20 points)
    172. J-hump (20 points)
    173. mrdriftless (20 points)
    174. Pirata with Pasta (20 points)
    175. Vince (20 points)
    176. Steve Swift (20 points)
    177. Casey Arnold (20 points)
    178. feef (20 points)
    179. Blake (20 points)
    180. Phil Schneider (20 points)
    181. Nic (20 points)
    182. NRMontgomery (20 points)
    183. roleur510 (20 points)
    184. nathan (19 points)
    185. Philip Turner (18 points)
    186. bkwentz (17 points)
    187. Rob (17 points)
    188. Pistolfromwarragul (17 points)
    189. Hassan (17 points)
    190. Daccordi Rider (17 points)
    191. Pedale.Forchetta (16 points)
    192. Henrik (16 points)
    193. meursault (16 points)
    194. roger (15 points)
    195. Lister (14 points)
    196. drewPjohnson (14 points)
    197. ZachOlson (13 points)
    198. Andrew (13 points)
    199. Two Ball Billy (13 points)
    200. Cyclistthings (13 points)
    201. handsOn (13 points)
    202. Nukatpiat (13 points)
    203. VeloAU (13 points)
    204. Chasquimorgan (13 points)
    205. Mike Honcho (13 points)
    206. Painkiller (13 points)
    207. TraJoM (13 points)
    208. Kris (12 points)
    209. Mikeweb (12 points)
    210. ThinGuy (12 points)
    211. hammermama (12 points)
    212. rhys (11 points)
    213. Poppyseed (11 points)
    214. marshy (11 points)
    215. velomihottie (11 points)
    216. Wayne Schimmelbusch (10 points)
    217. Giles (10 points)
    218. wiscoerik (9 points)
    219. olliewm (9 points)
    220. Maximilian (9 points)
    221. jkennedy (9 points)
    222. Sean (9 points)
    223. packfiller (9 points)
    224. Clydeone (9 points)
    225. Xyverz (9 points)
    226. Duende (9 points)
    227. huwge (9 points)
    228. Lunchrider (8 points)
    229. velo_ronin (8 points)
    230. IcemanYVR (8 points)
    231. El Mateo (8 points)
    232. brianc (8 points)
    233. cornishlovemuscle (7 points)
    234. smithers (7 points)
    235. somebum (6 points)
    236. kah (6 points)
    237. BP (6 points)
    238. nutellaurent (6 points)
    239. ralph (6 points)
    240. anotherdownunder (6 points)
    241. Anast Demitt (6 points)
    242. starclimber (6 points)
    243. celestialdrive (6 points)
    244. american psycho (6 points)
    245. Don juan (6 points)
    246. gino (6 points)
    247. Rick (6 points)
    248. Frank Ramos (6 points)
    249. Tomislav (6 points)
    250. sean (6 points)
    251. elrond (6 points)
    252. ifurley (6 points)
    253. Benny (6 points)
    254. Matt (6 points)
    255. DR5150 (6 points)
    256. Erik Olsen (6 points)
    257. Enoch (6 points)
    258. Bongo (5 points)
    259. BrianG (5 points)
    260. imakecircles (5 points)
    261. Blease (5 points)
    262. Simon (4 points)
    263. bjm (4 points)
    264. eightace (4 points)
    265. bjb (4 points)
    266. igowing (4 points)
    267. Jonnyp82 (4 points)
    268. Bike Jonez (4 points)
    269. mxlmax (4 points)
    270. Will (3 points)
    271. Roadslave525 (3 points)
    272. Matt (3 points)
    273. schmiken (3 points)
    274. Craig Chambers (3 points)
    275. Topcover (3 points)
    276. ErikdR (3 points)
    277. Karl (3 points)
    278. dunderleif (3 points)
    279. Emile (3 points)
    280. WillB (2 points)
    281. needmoreV (2 points)
    282. Jamin (2 points)
    283. Maximilian (2 points)
    284. tjancijr (2 points)
    285. tom wojcik (2 points)
    286. themayneframe (2 points)
    287. Harminator (2 points)
    288. elewis (2 points)
    289. Chris (2 points)
    290. Bonesx (2 points)
    291. veritas_tm (2 points)
    292. gearz (2 points)
    293. edukaycheon (2 points)
    294. Mshengu (2 points)
    295. minion (2 points)
    296. puddles (2 points)
    297. Paul Seip (2 points)
    298. fredd727 (1 points)
    299. la Vela (1 points)
    300. sam findley (1 points)
    301. mike masterson (1 points)
    302. Dave (1 points)
    303. la Vela (1 points)
    304. bdias85 (1 points)
    305. TBONE (1 points)
    306. GPdomestique (1 points)
    307. TheCoolman (1 points)
    308. Marcovelo (1 points)
    309. David (1 points)
    310. jimmy (1 points)
    311. highball (1 points)
    312. Dave R (1 points)
    313. Tandjes (1 points)
    314. packfiller (1 points)
    315. ten B (1 points)
    316. geoff gummer (1 points)
    317. Bruno DN (0 points)
    318. TripleEight (0 points)
    319. Ryan (0 points)
    320. Hammerhed (0 points)
    321. calves (0 points)
    322. Bianchi_Bob (0 points)
    323. Erik Assum (0 points)
    324. doubleespresso (0 points)
    325. Lee (0 points)
    326. mtnbikerfred (0 points)
    327. Marcus (0 points)
    328. Joe Davis (0 points)
    329. Dave (0 points)
    330. Alex (0 points)
    331. DR5150 (0 points)
    332. Joshua C. (0 points)
    333. Lee Woolston (0 points)
    334. BillB (0 points)
    335. stickyjumper (0 points)
    336. ed o (0 points)
    337. Austin (0 points)
    338. hendriku (0 points)
    339. Oli Cartlidge (0 points)
    340. Oli Cartlidge (0 points)
    341. Fat Mexican (0 points)
    342. Gal (0 points)
    343. Kermit Pannell (0 points)
    344. Chuckolade (0 points)
    345. TomC (0 points)
    346. Jason (0 points)
    347. magiscla (0 points)
    348. G'rilla (0 points)
    349. minion (0 points)
    350. Gerard (0 points)

  • Wow really great Tour this year, I've been enjoying the VSP quite a lot as well.

    Kinda wondering what I was thinking swapping in Menchov for S. Sanchez instead of putting in Froome.

    Lesson learned no more rest day swaps for me.

  • Great finish to LeTour.

    I was wondering how it was all playing out.  But I was busy in the stands at Hockenheim, watching Fernando Alonso take the race, from pole to line, in today's Formula 1 race in Hockenheim.

    A good day of racing.

  • Well done, Wiggo and Sky. An emphatic win. And thanks,  Frank and Keepers, for organizing another great VSP.

  • @snoov

    @ten B

    @Dr C

    That said, given how often we have to listen to the 1966 World Cup victory chat from the footballers, maybe we can hope to hear Wiggo (and I hope we never forget his team in this) being talked about by the population at large in GB for many years to come

    The reason English footballers bang-on about '66 is that they haven't won anything notable since, so if you're still talking about Wiggo in 45 years, it might not be a good thing.

    The difference will be that yes Tommy Simpson wore the yellow jersey in the past but that has no bearing on Wiggins performance beyond inspiration.  In the football mind, the '66 victory means that England are and will always be capable of winning the World Cup.  Of course this is obviously not true yet the stats used in football like some team in the 1930s beat such and such a team has no bearing on what to expect nowadays.  Years ago Spain invested heavily in their coaches and now we see that they are dominating the football world.  Britain has invested in cycling and now we are seeing the hard work paying off.  Unfortunately for England, Scotland, Wales and probably the two Irish countries they still haven't started investing in football the way the Spanish did (over 5000 top level coaches who work with the youngest kids right through their development, compared to something like 300 similar coaches in England).

    Wiggins will be inspirational to many but his victory later today (barring any accidents) won't give any future cyclists from Britain the feeling that they too will be successful because he was.  I'm sure they'll understand that he worked hard for it and they'll have to work hard too - it's a different kind of team sport.

    You're absolutely right about the investment, etc. Keep in mind, though, that the Brits remain convinced that they invented football and that they should be entitled to be among the favourites. Quick: name the last world class to wear the English jersey (a hint: Becks wasn't even born yet).

    On topic, though: terrific final week. Cav's two wins were absolutely stunning, as was Wiggo's total dominance. Sky was brilliant from start to finish"”they have set the bar for other teams for next year. With Contador back, Saxo stacked with talent, etc., hopefully we could see some real fireworks. The other highlight for me was to see French youth served. Voeckler was great, but Pinot and Rolland both look the part of great riders of the future. Too: youth in general"”the central cast of the last few years should be looking over their shoulders at the Sagans, Phinneys, Van Garderens, Taaramäes, et al. It will be exciting to see these guys come to the fore in the next year or two.

  • Thank fuck that's over. I'll never get that three weeks back.

    Congrats to the VSP winners, enjoy your sweet R3s, DeFeet gear and Malteni jersey. And to everyone for supporting the VSP and making the banter over the three weeks more interesting than the racing.

    Seriously though, congrats to Wiggo and Royal Mail, did what they had to do to win and did it perfectly.

    Looking forward to Contador/Schleck at the Vuelta now!

  • Easily the most boring Tour in years.  Amazing job by Sky nonetheless.

    Hope the Vuelta delivers more.....

  • @brett

    Thank fuck that's over. I'll never get that three weeks back.

    Congrats to the VSP winners, enjoy your sweet R3s, DeFeet gear and Malteni jersey. And to everyone for supporting the VSP and making the banter over the three weeks more interesting than the racing.

    Looking forward to Contador/Schleck at the Vuelta now!

    You mean Contador/ Schleck and Froomie! (I think I have finally come to love him again, after he developed some humility - I think he will have learned more than he realised - being a leader is more than just attacking in the mountains and TTing like a beast)

    Man alive, my first ever cycling related prize - I am so honoured, thanks chaps

    And what a final day - the yellow jersey putting the hammer down coming out of the tunnel, everyone sprintng like mad and unable to get around him - panache +++

    Roll on next saturday....

    Best ever acceptance speech too

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