Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012

Rule #22 Compliant, in spades.

We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.

So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, ArmskinsKneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.

Gianni’s Ruminations

Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.

I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.

The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.

Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.

I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.

Brett’s Misconceptions

It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.

Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.

Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.

Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.

None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.

Marko’s Reckoning

The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.

In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.

Frank’s Delusions

It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.

I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.

The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.

Epilogue

Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.

The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.

Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.

View Comments

  • Awesome to see Wiggo on the front drilling it for Cav, Higgs Bosun was almost redundant for all the time Cav spent behind him before taking off by himself. What a finish, I couldn't believe he'd be able to keep that up.

    Chapeau to Sagan for consistence and some monster finishes but he must be relieved that Cav was otherwise engaged for most of the tour.

    Roll on Saturday and the TT next week. Can Wiggo maintain the focus?

    Vuelta looks to be a climbers dream, 13 mountain stages out of 21 and a 40km TT for Froome. I'd love to see him take on Bertie.

  • Better add that Wiggo lead out to the entry list for V-Moment of the Year

    Nice article by BBC Tom Fordyce - summarises nicely what this means to GB....

    Even though we should really be rather accustomed to seeing Bradley Wiggins in yellow by now, there was still something wonderfully unreal about watching him cruise up the Champs-Elysees on Sunday, bike, helmet and jersey all the same bright jaune, to become Britain's first ever winner of the Tour de France.

    These sort of Parisian valedictions are not supposed to feature the British in any other than a supporting role. That a scrawny ginger kid from Kilburn has grown up to win his sport's greatest prize is one of the more remarkable tales British sport has produced.

    It might even be the most laudable of all. "I may be a bit biased," admitted Sir Chris Hoy earlier this week, "because Bradley is an old team-mate and a great guy. But if he gets to that finish line it will be as good as anything any British athlete has ever done."

    These are mighty claims, and lead to the sort of arguments that slander legends and end friendships. Yet the context, manner and meaning of Wiggins's golden July give Hoy's words a resonance that is hard to ignore.


    Wiggins has worn the leader's yellow jersey for 60 per cent of this year's Tour. Photo: Getty

    There are the numbers - 109 years and 99 races gone, and just two fourth places for Britain to celebrate before this weekend; the stats (no Olympic track gold medallist has ever gone on to win Le Tour); and the plain old impossibles: a bloke who resides in Eccleston reigning in Paris; a champion of the track at ease in the mountains, a chaotic war of a race made to look like a procession.

    Back in July 2007, when British Cycling's performance director Dave Brailsford first mentioned his dream of a British Tour team, it seemed exactly that: a happy fantasy, a vision at odds with history.

    British teams had rarely been more than footnotes to the Grande Boucle, from the day in 1937 when Charlie Holland's broken pump ended his country's debut attempt, to the failure of eight of the ten-strong Hercules team, the UK's first, to complete the loop in 1955, to the dismal collapse of the ANC Halfords team in 1987.

    As the Beijing Olympics a year later illustrated, Brailsford could make a mockery of precedent. But when he launched Team Sky on 4 January 2010 with the promise of a British Tour winner in five years, not even he expected a British one-two within three.

    Some sporting triumphs owe a large debt to luck - a one-off punch, a penalty shoot-out, a one-eyed official. Wiggins's victory has its roots in nothing more complicated than ceaseless hard work, pinpoint planning and an unwavering commitment to become as good as he could possibly be.

    After finishing Sky's debut Tour down in 23rd place, he sat down with coach Shane Sutton and sport scientist Tim Kerrison and worked out how to transform himself into a true Tour contender. In Tenerife's Mount Teide national park, 7,000ft above sea level, the hard yards were climbed, far from family, far from home.

    The route of the 2012 Tour certainly suited Wiggins - 100km of time-trialling was always going to play to his strengths. The increasing success of cycling's battles against doping also left him facing a field as fair as any in an age.

    But these are not caveats.

    Wiggins has been the dominant stage racer of the entire year. During his hat-trick of victories at Paris-Nice, Tour of Romandie and Critérium du Dauphiné he wore the leader's jersey for 15 of the 21 racing days. In France he rode in yellow for 2,064km of the 3,497km route. And if his time-trialling has been pivotal, wasn't it also for former winners Lance Armstrong and Miguel Indurain?

    If Wiggins owes much to a very un-British level of planning and resource, he also owes a lot to Sky's overseas operators - Christian Knees of Germany, Bernhard Eisel of Austria, Richie Porte and Michael Rogers of Australia and Norway's Edvald Boasson Hagen - as well as the unstinting support of his compatriots Chris Froome and Mark Cavendish.

    In that he is in shared company with every other Tour winner. What makes his win all the more admirable is the style he has done it in - untroubled on the roads almost throughout, and able to deal with the unique pressures and questions which come the way of a maillot jaune.

    Race leaders aren't expected to lead out their sprinters in the final week, let alone do it three times. Neither would all his predecessors have ordered the peloton to wait for the reigning champion, as he did for Cadel Evans, when saboteurs threw tacks on the road to derail the onrushing express train.

    For these deeds the French media have dubbed him 'Le Gentleman'; L'Equipe has even hailed "the most famous rouflaquettes (sideburns) since Elvis Presley".

    Back in Britain, the impact has been even greater.

    Wiggins has not just dominated the back pages of newspapers but, increasingly, the front. This Tour win has secured him alongside Steve Redgrave, Daley Thompson, Chris Hoy, Ian Botham and Bobby Moore in the public sporting consciousness.

    His successes should be hard to understand; none of us will ever ride the Tour. But millions of us cycle, when we don't row, or pole vault and throw discus, or run 1500m. We could never dream of cycling as he does, but that's exactly the point: we're aware of the gap, and we're in awe at how vast it is.

    It is also an achievement rooted in uniquely British circumstances.

    Although born in Ghent to an Australian father, Wiggins is a product of a homegrown cycling culture that long pre-dates Lance-inspired sportives and City-boy bikers: studying Cycling Weekly as a schoolboy, learning his trade at the dilapidated Herne Hill velodrome, making his time-trial debut on the Hayes bypass.

    Is this the greatest British sporting achievement ever? The comparisons are near impossible, not least because the Tour and its demands are unlike any other sporting event. That's why we love it.

    If you want to try, then you could throw in Roger Bannister's four-minute mile, Redgrave's five consecutive golds, maybe even the most sacred of all, to part of the nation at least: Wembley, 1966.

    If that sounds too much, listen to 81-year-old Brian Robinson, Britain's first ever winner of a Tour stage, as he set off for Paris to witness Wiggins's coronation.

    "We never dreamed of this in my days," he said. "We were scrubbing along at the back of the bunch."

    British riders scrub along no more. The man known to the French as Le Gentleman, and the Dutch as 'The Banana With The Sideburns' has climbed the pinnacle.

  • @Dr C Wow! Great and worthy words there, thanks for sharing them.

    Cheers from me also to the Keepers for their hard work on the VSP, especially you Frank. You rock.

  • Awesome three weeks thanks to everyone who contributed here! Added to the suspense and atmosphere. Loved it. Bring on the Olympics and the Vuelta.

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro

    Fuck yeah!  114th!!!  Take that, bitches.

    You won Roubaix so you've had a successful season already.  I had assumed you were just using the TDF VSP as training for the Olympic Road Race VSP.

  • @VeloVita

    @Jeff in PetroMetro

    Fuck yeah!  114th!!!  Take that, bitches.

    You won Roubaix so you've had a successful season already.  I had assumed you were just using the TDF VSP as training for the Olympic Road Race VSP.

    Ummmm, yes.  Yes.  That's right.  That was my plan all along.  Yep.

  • I had trouble paying much attention to the tour over the last week or so, with Wiggo a clear lock and little in the way of drama for the rest of the top five (although I was pulling for Tejay, who seems to be a kid with his head on straight).  But man, yesterday's sprint gave me goosebumps, with Wiggins leading out the train into the last turn.  I've gained a shot-ton of respect for the guy this July, and I'll be pulling for him in London.

    As for my VSP hopes, I banked everything on a daring two-rider switch during the last rest day, pinning my hopes on Cadel finding it within himself to turn down the screws and get back to third place.  Alas, it was not to be;  I watched my tour VSP hopes crack along with Bad Cadel on the Aspin and the Peyresourde, along with, I think, any hope of taking the overall title this fall.  Nevertheless, I'll not give up.  The trained monkeys are locked away right now, putting together sure-fire picks for the Olympics and the Vuelta.

  • Thoughts on Mark Cavendish.  This is just personal opinion and speculation so take it for what it's worth - about as much as a Biopace chainring, I figure.  Like many, I thought Cavendish was a cocky douche, especially after the "spitting on Haussler" incident.  But after watching Chasing Legends and seeing a more human/personal side of him I started liking him more.  Now, after his Stage 20 win I'm pretty much sold on the guy.  This is what I saw, regardless of what media speculation saw.  I saw the World's fastest sprinter willingly play second fiddle for a cause.  He obviously put aspirations for another Green Jersey aside to help in the GC effort.  Now we can say that he had ulterior motives in that he's hoping the favor will be returned at the Olympics - which I think it will - but Cav still set aside personal glory at the Tour.  Here are some other things to consider: He's won the Rainbow Stripes (and he wears them classily). He's the first WC to win on the Champs Elysees.  He's won Milan-San Remo,  But MOST importantly, he's only 12 stage wins from beating the Prophet's record.  To set this all off, in Stage 20 he basically said "I don't need a lead out, in fact, I'll lead you (Goss, Greipel, Sagan, et al) out and still kick your ass."  He showed Sagan that while he may have won the Green Jersey it was only because Cav was working for another goal and that he is still the best sprinter in the world.  I like the bloke.  Not as much as I like Big George or Jens but I'll be rooting for him at the Olympics.

Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago