Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cadel
3. Hesjedal
4. Gesink
5. Nibali
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Gesink
4. Nibali
5. Van Gardener
My new rule compliant hat arrived today.
Obviously I won’t be wearing it off the bike but I will be waving a saltire for religious reasons by the road during Stage 15 (the stage that won’t be as awesome as stage 16 but at least I can get to the roadside). The small Engines, Mrs Engine and Grandma Engine will also be there with their flags.
I will attempt to complete the stage during the following two weeks and will report back.
With my chain whip, Veloce 13 – 29 block, compliant hat, grimy bar tape and off-white shoes I will ride like a lion on my solo cogal – oh yes.
All of this is based on Wigglings not binning it in the first week, which is highly likely.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Gesink
4. Hesjedal
5. Sanchez
@the Engine good luck – ride it like a madman, only way
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Froome
3. JVDB
4. Nibbles
5. Annoying Aussie
@Dr C
Insanity – its the only way to travel
Head says this TDF is built for Wiggins and if he holds the form he had in the Dauphine he’s won this already BUT….I don’t think he can hold that form all the way to the end. Cadelephant looks the goods for me again. I think he will be picking up time on the downhill – along with Dirty Sanchez and Nibbles. Rogers will be up there to ensure the Aussies bookend the top 5 :-)
Oh bring on the TDF Sleep deprivation that only comes from watching the greatest race in the wee small hours of a southern hemisphere Winter :-)
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadelephant
2. Dirty Sanchez
3. Twiggo
4. Nibbles
5. Rogers
Cadel takes it with very canny and controlled ride. He has morphed from the anxious collarbone breaking ex-MTBer into a consummate pro. He will bring his A-game and start off a massive 6 weeks for Australia where we dominate le Tour, the Olympic road race, pool and velodrome.
Wiggo has his customary jour sans and screws the pooch. After his early year performances (which have been stunning) it will be going against all of the modern history of cycling for Wiggo to be at his peak during the Tour. I say that means he can’t win. The fact he says he is English (despite being born in Belgium to an Australian father) only reinforces my thinking.
My only nagging doubt is that his Australian connection will assist and he does seem to have a decent amount of good bloke in him. That is why he will get to the podium.
And Valverde will surprise – at around 40/1 he aint the worst each way bet…
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadelephant
2. Valverde
3. Wiggins
4. Nibali
5. Menchov
Too much team help for Wiggo .Cadel psyched out after last race .would like to see Ryder get up.
VSP PICKS:
1. wiggins
2. nibali
3. evans
4. hesjedal
5. froome
@Cyclops
glad to see faboo finally gettin some love. Not that i’m gonna pick him, but good to see…
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. Nibali
3. Horner
4. Menchov
5. Wiggins
VSP PICKS:
1. Samuel Sanchez
2. Ryder Hesjedal
3. Frank Schleck
4. Cadel Evans
5. Levi Leipheimer
IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT YOUR PICKS:
Do not put a rider’s name in more than one, folks. Cereal. It will make the scoring system go all googlie-eyed. I just loaded up a process that checks for duplicate entries and warns us of them; after reviewing your picks we find you indeed have duplicate entries, the only sensible thing we can do is clear out all your picks and email you to let you know you need to re-enter them.
Please note that this comes at your own risk of missing the VSP. If you enter EDDY EDDY EDDY EDDY EDDY and we don’t see it before the VSP closes, you will have effectively Delgado’d due to the fact that we’ll have to remove your picks from the mix and you won’t have an opportunity to re-enter them.
Sorry for any inconvenience, but since this is clearly a Piti Principle violation, I allow you to refer to Rule #5 should you have any problems with this approach.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Leipheimer
3. Schleck
4. Evans
5. Hesjedal
I hate picking top fives and top tens . . . there are sooo many variables and I overthink the cycling world . . . but maybe that is because I love it the way most people love their kids.
VSP PICKS:
1. Bradley Wiggins
2. Ryder Hesjedal
3. Cadel Evans
4. Vincenzo Nibali
5. Sammy Sanchez
VSP PICKS:
1. Nibali
2. Wiggins
3. Sanchez
4. Evans
5. Gesink
VSP PICKS:
1. Nibali
2. Wiggins
3. Evans
4. Sanchez
5. Gesink
VSP PICKS:
1. evans
2. wiggins
3. nibali
4. schleck
5. leipheimer
those awesome prizes are making me think to much about this. I made one selection for the Giro. I am on my 3rd so far this time around.
@El Mateo
VSP PICKS:
1. nibali
2. evans
3. hesjedal
4. wiggins
5. leipheimer
Cadel will be much better against the clock than at the Dauphine and Wiggo will get dropped climbing and descending. Dirty Denis’ last chance…
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel
2. Menchov
3. Wiggins
4. Nibali
5. F Schleck
VSP PICKS:
1. Nibali
2. Evans
3. Wiggins
4. Sanchez
5. Gesink
@frank
Yes. Read your Orson Scott Card, Man! Ender was the boy genius who unwittingly was forced to go against the galaxy’s most intelligent beings and won! And then he followed it up with a couple of novels’ worth of pseudo-philosophic ramblings about Xenocide!
@frank
Dammit, does this go for the women’s giro too? Because Vos is all I fuckin’ got!
@The Oracle
Are you looking forward to the movie? I know I am.
@Cyclops
You fucker. If you’re right there’s going to be a lot of people eating crow round here. I don’t even know what that means; but at least you’re more reasoned than Marcus.
On the upside, if you’re right you’ll get the first prize to yourself: I have been imagining the Cuddles/Wiggo combo meaning that 47 entrants get 1/47th of a pair of shoes each.
Well I’ve absorbed the collective wisdom. Cadel will win, he knows how too and will outlast Twiggo. Twiggo will fall off, get dropped on a steep climb, get dropped on a technical decent or lose so much weight no one can find him to put him on a bike.
In the unlikely event he does win I just want all the Poms here to know that Australia will claim the victory as our own. He has an Aussie dad and was born in Belgium so he is practically an Aussie and we will take any victory we can get.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel
2. Nibbles
3. Wiggins
4. Sammy
5. Gerrans
No doubt its the Wiggo – Cuddles show. I bet against Cuddles last year and look what happened. Wiggo looks good but I just get the feeling he’s going to blow in the Alps and not be able to make it up in the final TT. Nibbles seems like a good bloke but he’s lacks the punch to cover the uphill moves (Lime Turd?) and Liquigas are going to use up too much for Sagan. I’m picking some roughies and younguns to fill up the top V.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. The Modfather
3. Westra
4. Swivel Senior
5. Danielson
I forgot to Mention The Rug comes last. How did that fucker get an new team and ride?
@RedRanger
Yes, yes I am. I’ve read all of them. Including the “bean” ones. I’m sure I’ll be horribly disappointed.
And then buy the blue ray.
@The Oracle
I hear that.
Sorry Schlek but your lil bro wont be there to look after you.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cuddles
3. JVDB
4. Gesink or swim
5. Nibali
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Schle
4. Voeckler
5. Hesjedal
Wanna pick Schleck but I’m not convinced he’ll be there at the end of the three weeks. A Hesjedal double would be fantastic but like everyone else I see a wiggins – Evans showdown. Summer of sports! Euro Cup all June, TdF all July and Olympics right after.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Hesjedal
4. Voeckler
5. Nibali
VSP PICKS:
1. wiggo
2. cuddles
3. the climbing dutchman
4. nibbles
5. eggtimer
@Dr C It sounds like you had an amazing week, I really need to head south for the summer one year, I need to lose a bit of timber and be more Twiggo like (but without the hair and sideburns, what is he thinking?) but still could’nt comprehend the climbing of those four cols in one day, would also need to change to a compact cos I can’t climb for toffee.
@SimonH He’s got youthful style.
Dear all.
I chose Sammie Sanchez on his name alone.
Back in the 90’s there was a guy called
– Armand de Las Cuevas –
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armand_de_Las_Cuevas
He was pretty handy on the bike, but what a name.
I would like to apologise to everyone I know in advance for a the over caffeinated, sleep deprived prick I will no doubt turn into for a month.
Ciao, Ricardo.
VSP PICKS:
1. Thomas Voeckler
2. Bradley Wiggans
3. Cadel Evans
4. Vincenzo Nibali
5. Samuel Sánchez Gonzalez
So, let’s see who loses the least time in the long time trials and doesn’t have their bad day on a mountain stage….should be exciting.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel
2. Wiggins
3. Gesink
4. Hesjedal
5. Nibali
@SimonH
it’s really not that far away – we nearly got washed away in Northern Ireland on wednesday, so I’m already dreaming of the next escape to the sun
Flight to Milan with bikes, £120 return, 3-4 nights cheap hotels and food in the back end of nowhere is better and cheaper often, and split an estate car between 5 riders, each sitting out one passo a day to drive the “team car” – should be doable for sub £400
Having a target sure helps when putting in the extra pain in prep, and a compact is compulsory – our Pro was even on a compact with a 28 sprocket on the back – still dragged us along a flat road at 70kph! One of us was told his 11-23 would be fine bu the local LBS – Pro had him switched to a 12-28 after the Marie Blanc….
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Ryder H.
4. Gesink
5. Schlek
Roll on tomorrow – can’t wait :-)
Roll on tomorrow. Can’t wait :-)
@Dr C You flew to Milan to ride the Pyreneese from the Atlantic to the Med?
Top work on your own personal tour, very, very jealous. Love the polka dot socks! When will see a guest article?
We’ve got three weeks down there in August, Tourmalet is at the bottom end of a big 200km loop from where we’re staying.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Schlek the elder
3. Hesjedal
4. Wiggins
5. Voeckler
VSP PICKS:
1. A Schleck (euch)
2. Sanchez
3. Wiggins
4. Greipel
5. Sagan
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggans
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Sanchez
5. Jurgen Van Den Broeck
@frank @all Looks like we’ve fucked up massively by picking Pippi Longstockings for the win.
Apparently, staying on top form for an extended period of time can’t be done. It’s completely unrealistic to expect someone to compete as early as May and then carry on into July and even more unreasonable to expect them to be a team leader at the tour.
Oh, sorry, hang on, my mistake. This isn’t aimed at pro cyclists in general, this is the considered wisdom of the Grimpelder and his DS, Kim Andersen.
@Brother Grimpeur the Elder to Het Nieuwsblad
@Kim Andersen to politiken.dk
@frank, pick him by all means but can you exert all your influence as founder of the Velominati to have a Rule #5 chat with the pair of them. They’re beginning to sound more like a pair of fucking soccer players than cyclists.
@Chris
Thank goodness you’ve brought me to my senses by picking Schleckles. Nothing good has come of that this year. No point in thinking anything would be much different this time round. Of course he could be shadow boxing and come out very strong, but that will just make me think he’s even more douchetastic than I think he is now. The other thing militating against me picking FS is that his teamm is disintegrating around him. Not a happy place to be, I’d imagine.
Weight of a Nation going in instead.
It’s interesting how everyone is saying that Wiggo is going to put 3 minutes into Cuddles in the TT’s based on ONE time trial in the Dauphine. I don’t think simple extrapolation works given all the variables at play.
I think eggtimer has a shot as he has a very strong team behind him, and was looking very strong at the start of the year before his accident. Hopefully he’s full recovered.
Oh, and one last thing.
Dr. C, I’m jealous! That is all.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. Wiggles
3. Nibbles
4. Hesjedal
5. Eggtimer -les
First BRIT in forever!
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Leipheimer
4. Hesjedal
5. Gesnick
So, have just started my per-Tour carboloading. Beer fridge stocked (apart from a couple of empty spots), 1 kilo of coffee beans ready for grinding. Bike #1 clean, tyres pumped,. Workmates warned that they should expect a cranky twat in the office for the next month. I’m ready…. And bloody excited.