Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@mouse the days when the greats would have looked their opposition in the eye thinking “when you’ve reached the point where every part of your body is screaming at you to stop, that’s when I’ll start riding” may be gone and it really doesn’t matter whether those words are genuine or flim flam, it’s still whining on a colossal scale. He should at least be charged with bringing the sport into disrepute. A strong contender for the Anti -V award.
At least his little brother had the decency to commit Schleppuku by falling off his time trial bike.
VSP PICKS:
1. Ryder Hesjedal
2. Rui Costa
3. Rein Taaramae
4. Tejay Van Garderen
5. Richie Porte
So, is Frankenschleck telling us to bank on Horner? I’m so confused.
@Chris: Schleppuku. Nice. That’s a lexi entry right there.
This is a tough one and that is a good thing. Gone are the days of steak-eating, post delivering asshats who make the race a forgone concloosh (at least for now). I really like Cadel and Wiggins and hope they make this a great tour. All indications are that they will. Wiggo may have the advantage of the stronger team on paper but Cadel has the advantage of winning before and his team also knows how to win this. Big George will turn himself inside out supporting Cadel in this and if there’s any domestique that knows how to win a tour it’s Hincapie. Nibs-Ali will podium but won’t win until next year. WGBBB and Denis round it out. Vive le Tour.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel Two-peats
2. Jolly Naughty Wiggo
3. Nibs-Ali
4. Winona’s Got A Big Brown Beaver
5. Denis the Menchov
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Evans
3. F Schleck
4. Wiggins
5. Hejsedahl
@Chris
Grimpelder?
“I don’t want to be captain. I can’t continue to perform at top level…
…No, absolutely not, I did the preparation for the Ardennes classics, then I went unexpectedly to the Giro. I’m not a machine. You should be realistic. I am already very lean and in great shape, I can not continue to maintain this level.
I don’t want to be named as the leader, because if I put in a disappointing performance, then everyone can afterwards complain that I was not good enough”
= Daddy went to Spain but the butcher said the steak wast now fishy
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. The Modfather
3. Westra
4. Swivel Senior
5. Danielson
It has to be, it must be, it’s now or never – ALLEZ WIGGO!
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cadel Evans
3. Hejsedal
4. Schleck
5. Voeckler
Submitting these from a poolside in menorca. This has nothing to do with my picks…i just wanted to share that with you.
Wiggins to win. If wiggins wins cuddles won´t be in second.
Cav to last 12 days to then go home and get ready for the 5 ring circus.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Gesink
3. Nibbles
4. Sagan
5. Cuddles
Finally a dutchy on the podium.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Mollema
4. Sagan
5. Poels
Holy shit, sponsorship! Now that up’s the ante a bit, doesn’t it! Briliiant stuff, esp with the Pave’ boys as theyare Da BOMB! Well, here goes nothing.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cuddles
3. Nibbles
4. Denis the Menice
5. Jorgen van den Brock
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel
2. Wiggins
3. Leipheimer
4. Nibali
5. Menchov
@Marko Thanx for posting a video cue for Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver
@el gato Hesjedal: I can win a Tour de France (cycling news)
@The Oracle
Well, he does have the deer in headlights look down pat
@Tartan1749 He also looks like he’s trying to grow sideburns.
@Tartan1749 That photo makes Frank look like Damien.
Safety picks from North Adams to avoid a Delgado on this one too.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Ryder
4. Nibbles
5. Van Den Broeck
@Tartan1749 Assuming the truth of the premise that he does NOT want to come off as a namby-pamby when he talks, Frank should really just keep his mouth shut, because every time he opens it, he comes of as a namby-pamby. He sounded that way before the Giro, and he sounds that way now. If he keeps his mouth shut, people might start mistaking him for the “strong, silent type,” which would be an improvement.
VSP PICKS:
1. Ender's Game
2. Not quite as Good Cadel
3. Frankenshleck
4. Nibbles
5. Dirty Sanchez
The Wigginator is going to lay down the law tomorrow. Let’s hope he can keep the rubber side down this year.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cuddles
3. Gesink
4. Hesjedal
5. Voekler
For the love of all things velo, thank God the Tour starts tomorrow.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Nibali
4. Menchov
5. Hesjdahl
OK, I guess I better put some picks in since there are some prizes I can actually win. I’m so far back in the overall VSP standings it’s not even funny.
VSP PICKS:
1. W-w-w-wiggo
2. Evans
3. S. Sanchez
4. Nibali
5. The Most Lonesome Schleck
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. Wiggo
3. Hesjedal
4. Leipheimer
5. Schleck
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Hesjedal
4. Sanchez
5. Nibali
Go go Wiggo
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Evans
3. Nibbles
4. Van Der Broeck
5. Ryder
i’m also going to add a prediction for a stage win: big george. i don’t think he’ll have the fortitude to make a podium step, or even top 5 overall, but here’s hoping he’ll at least get a stage win in his final tour!
by the way, any velominatii going to watch stage 11 in person? my velomihottie (*she who must be taken to paris for several days 1st*) & i will be as close to the top of croix de fer as we can get. anyone else camping out for the night up there?
VSP PICKS:
1. wiggins
2. evans
3. leipheimer
4. voeckler
5. farrar
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans Cadel
2. Wiggins Bradley
3. Leipheimer Levi
4. Gesink Robert
5. Van den Broeck Jurgen
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Nibali
4. Sanchez
5. Vande Velde
Looks like The Prophet and I are on the same page
Gianni/Frank et al:
Great work on making this VSP!! Kudo’s on Fizik and the boys at Pave’, DeFeet, I will now do more homework!!
I for one have found the pundants all over the board on hedging who is who, in what form, predictions and all, its all over the place this year unlike any thing yet.
this will be a great TdF!
good luck everyone!
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggo
3. Ryder
4. Van Der Broek
5. Levi!
VSP PICKS:
1. Bradley Wiggins
2. Cadel Evans
3. Thomas Voeckler
4. Vincenzo Nibali
5. Denis Menchov
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Menchov
4. Nibali
5. Sanchez
VSP PICKS:
1. wiggins
2. evans
3. rolland
4. sagan
5. voeckler
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Van de velde
4. Grimpelder
5. Sanchez
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Hesjedal
4. Nibali
5. Leipheimer
It’s going to be a good one this year
Probably off but I think Wiggo has peaked too soon…
VSP PICKS:
1. evans
2. wiggo
3. nibali
4. canadian pride
5. sanchez
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Nibali
4. Schleck
5. Hesjedal
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddels
2. Wiggo
3. Van den Broek
4. Nibali
5. Frank Schleck
Took me a bit to come to an ideea of how the Wiggins – Evans battle will go. Hesjedal will sneak ahead of Wiggins in the third week with a strong team riding for him. Yes, Sky is strong too, but Wiggins will be focus on Cadel and not the other colonial.
Voeckler will lay down some beats and Nibbles will keep within reach of the podium throughout.
Thus spoke Zarathustra. And me. Thus spoke Dan.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Hesjedal
3. Wiggins
4. Nibali
5. Voeckler
And tonight, Tony Martin takes first Yellow.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel
2. Wiggo
3. Gesink
4. Ryder H.
5. Menchov
And Martin takes first yellow…
I need new shoes, so if you would all kindly go back to your entries and purposely flub your picks in advance I’d appreciate it. Thanks and good luck! Also the Tour starts tomorrow, yeah boy!
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Nibali
3. Evans
4. Menchov
5. Hesjdal
Book it.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Nibali
4. Horner
5. Sanchez
VSP PICKS:
1. Hesjedal
2. Wiggins
3. Van Garderen
4. Gesnick
5. Evans
VSP PICKS:
No clue. Just throwin these guys against the wall. Hopefully they stick.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Hesjedal
4. Sanchez
5. Nibali
@sean
1. Hesjedal
2. Wiggins
3. Van Garderen
4. Gesnick
5. Evans
Wiggo’s got the team, seems like a lot of old guys in the favorites…looking forward to a great Tour!
VSP PICKS:
1. Bradly Wiggens
2. Vincenzo Nibali
3. Cadel Evans
4. Robert Gesink
5. Andre Greipel
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Evans
3. Hesjedal
4. Menchovito
5. Rollandowntheroad
I am hoping that my good showing in the Tour du Suisse will be enough to get me on the podium here.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Gesink
3. Wiggins
4. Hesjedal
5. Nibali