Velominati Super Prestige

Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012

Rule #22 Compliant, in spades.

We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.

So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.

Gianni’s Ruminations

Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.

I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.

The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.

Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.

I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.

Brett’s Misconceptions

It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.

Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.

Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.

Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.

None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.

Marko’s Reckoning

The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.

In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.

Frank’s Delusions

It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.

I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.

The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.

Epilogue

Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.

The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.

Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.

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2,258 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012”

  1. VSP PICKS:

    1. evans
    2. wiggans
    3. nibali
    4. jurgen van den broek
    5. menchov

  5. VSP PICKS:

    1. Cadel x 2
    2. Hesjedal
    3. Wiggo the Twiggo
    4. Sly Sammy Sanchez
    5. Van den Broek

  9. Sanchez in for Schleckelder…

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cuddles
    2. The Modfather
    3. Westra
    4. Sammy Sanchez
    5. Danielson

  13. Quick and dirty analysis of the punting so far, before Frank gives me a more accurate table…

    Two horse race it may be but Frankel has more on him than Black Caviar (joke that will only mean anything to Aussies and Brits)… Wiggins has 97 for the win so far against Cadel’s 67.

    Although interestingly it was the early money overwhelmingly on Wiggins, with the last half of picks pretty even between them.

    Hesjedal comes out next best with a mere 10 for the win, followed by Nibali with 7.

    In the random noise category with ones and twos are Voeckler, Gesink, Sammy Sanchex, Grimpelder, Levi, VDB and for a real wild card, Cancellara – presumably in the hope that all mountain stages will be abandoned because of bad weather.

    I haven’t added up all the other placings but my impression is that those 10 will make up the Velominati top 10, so given previous form the question is who are the other four or five riders who will prove us wrong.

  15. VSP PICKS:

    1. Canadian Pride
    2. The panzerwagen
    3. Evans
    4. Wiggins
    5. Van den Broeck

  16. I want to put Gesink in but he’s not a good TTer. Maybe he’ll go for the polka dot jersey.

    Evans for the win, mainly because he’s not the Velominati favourite. But also I think Wiggins’ TT ability is a bit overstated – he doesn’t always do so well with a few weeks of racing in his legs.

    Sanchez is consistently up there, and certainly no worse than Nibbles in a TT. About time he made the podium.

    Danielson is my dark horse – Garmin are on a roll, he seems to have some form, and he’s not a bad TTer.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Wiggins
    3. Sammy Sanchez
    4. Nibali
    5. Danielson

  17. VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Wiggins
    3. Nibali
    4. Rolland
    5. Hesjedal

  19. VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Wiggins
    3. Nibali
    4. Hesjedal
    5. Van den Broeck

  20. Hesjedal for the win, if only because I’d love to see the double done again…

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Hesjedal
    2. Wiggins
    3. Evans
    4. Rolland
    5. Van den Broeck

  23. Really don’t want to see an ex-mountain biker tarnish the TdF.

    So I’m hoping for Guillaume Levarlet with team Saur-Sojasun to take yellow.

  28. Never underestimate the Frenchies in La Grande Boucle!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cadel Evans
    2. Bradley Wiggins
    3. Vincenzo Nibali
    4. Robert Gesink
    5. Jérôme Coppel

  29. So, so excited . . . . . . . Riding Etape Act II in 2 weeks as well.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Bradley Wiggins
    2. Cadel Evans
    3. Ryder Hesjedal
    4. Vincenzo Nibali
    5. Chris Froome

  31. So sick! I’m ready for first week of chaos.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Bradley Wiggins
    2. Peter Sagan
    3. Lieuwe Westra
    4. Andre Greipel
    5. Chris Horner

  32. I’ll be rocking the KT t-shirt tomorrow for Stage 1, but the profile won’t allow for a good crazed fan TV shot.  So that will have to wait until next Saturday’s Stage 7.

    Fronk, if you Fed-Ex the flag, I can work it in next Saturday’s feed.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Wiggo
    2. Evans
    3. Nibbles
    4. Van den Broeck
    5. Menchov

  33. so nervous I can’t speak please don’t crash you fragile stick thin modfather you are in awesome form and are the personification of science and panache melded together into a british heath-robinson-esque obree old faithful type of project leave cav with bernie and surround yourself with the rest of your team look at what ryder did at the giro which is why christian van de velde gets my fifth spot the way he trashed himself up the stelvio was awesome god when this one is out the way we’ve got the bloody olympic road race which will be just as nervous with cavenCANgetgoldish making this a coming of age for this beautiful sport in old blighty please please please don’t crash make it a good race ride your own race ride your own pace just keep pumping out 510w on the tourmalet in the timetrials take no risks and ride protected where’s my prozac i can’t keep like this for another five weeks jesus

    VSP PICKS:

    1. twiggo
    2. cadel
    3. nibbles
    4. sanchez
    5. Christian V de V

  35. @roadslave525   I can see someone has a hard month ahead of them. What could go wrong? Relax.

    As usual I’m always confident in who will not make the top five, not so confident about who will. I’d like to put my man Ryder in but the Giro has to take some stuffing out. But maybe VDV’s awesome TT ability will finally get him to where he deserves. Nibbles, doubtful, too inexperienced but I like him so there. And wild card Sylvain, it’s got to happen sometime.

    And Sagan for the Green, Mr Johnny H for the dotty jumpa.

    Who won’t make the top five? Menchov, Griepel, Schleck, Gesink. I should like Gesink more but I don’t. So sue me.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. twiggo
    2. cadel
    3. christian van de velde
    4. nibbles
    5. chavanel S

  37. Setting off Mon evening on the rain bike allez le tour!  Stage 4 finish and stage 5 start should be good (If I can keep control of the Ricard consumption and stand up straight for the photos!).  Staying in a patisserie with a load of Aussies could also yield some fun and merriment!

  40. Boom!

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Wiggins
    2. Evans
    3. Hesjedal
    4. Gesink
    5. Menchov

  42. Just sayin’

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Wiggins
    3. Sanchez
    4. Menchov
    5. Nibali

  43. There ya go! Front page of today’s Melbourne’s newspaper;

    Plus we’ve got a special on TV – SBS One Sunday In Paris

    The inside story of Cadel Evans’s historic 2011 Tour de France Victory.

    Then live TdF! VMH & I Espresso’ed up for the start!

    BRING IT ON!

  44. Cheering for Cadel.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Wiggins
    3. Schleck
    4. Hesjedal
    5. Froome

  45. G’Day

    Too much TT for some of the pure climbers

    Can’t wait for the prologue

    TraJoM

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Evans
    2. Gesink
    3. Nibali
    4. Wiggins
    5. Menchov

  46. Nibbles out, Cobo in.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Ned Kelly
    2. Look straight ahead
    3. Monty Sideburns
    4. Cobo
    5. Dodger

  47. No idea, but at least I am not Delgado’ing this one.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Twiggy
    2. Cuddly
    3. Sharky
    4. Vandenbrockty
    5. Gaysinky

  49. I feel like a three week tour is such a shot in the dark.

    Daddy needs new kangaroo shoes…

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Wiggins
    2. Evans
    3. Nibali
    4. Schleck
    5. Hesjedal

  50. @sthilzy Is he wearing a Members Only jacket in that pic?

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cadel Two-peats
    2. Jolly Naughty Wiggo
    3. Nibs-Ali
    4. Winona’s Got A Big Brown Beaver
    5. Denis the Menchov

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