Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2017

Favorites ascending. Photo: Gruber Images.

As many of you know, I write a monthly column for Cyclist Magazine where I answer Dear Abby-esque questions, and the most recent query pertained to whether I consider the Tour the best race of the year, or whether it’s an over-publicized circus. The question made me realize something about myself: I have a weariness around the Tour de France not unlike a romantic whose heart has been broken one too many times.

The fact is, as much as I prefer a race like Paris-Roubaix or the Giro d’Italia to the mid-summer shit show that is the Tour de France, nothing gets my anticipation going quite the way the Tour does, which is undeniably the pinnacle of the season; all the classifications and stages are prestigious enough that racers of all sorts are all arriving at the start in peak form. There is a promise of hard racing from day one, but the first week consists mostly of me worrying about the big favorites crashing out. As soon as we get through that mess, my heart is usually broken on the first day in the mountains, when the favorite takes a decisive lead and the rest of the race is most about stages than the GC.

At least, these are the dreads of a man who lived through the Indurain and Armstrong eras of racing.

Nevertheless, the Tour always manages to seduce me, and this year is no different. Maybe this year, she won’t be such a cruel lover. And, maybe this year, I won’t make horrible picks in the VSP. Just maybe, just maybe. You know the drill; get your picks in by the time the clock goes to zero, and you get some swap options on the rest day. Good luck!
[vsp_results id=”104413″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

wiscot says:

Jul 7 2017 at 9:21 am

What's the French for "won it by a baw hair?"

C'mon ASO, get crazy - give the stage a joint winner. I'm a big Kittel fan but I like Eddy BH too. That would have been sweet to give a joint victory. I don't think either would have minded and it's good PR and a nice trivial question for the future.
wiscot says:

Jul 7 2017 at 9:22 am

"Trivia" not "trivial". D'oh!
chris says:

Jul 7 2017 at 9:58 am

@Teocalli

@ChrisO

I don’t think it would be difficult to design. The sort of heavy padded blocks they have in children’s ballpits or around rugby goalposts for example could presumably be adapted and stacked in a vehicle which could lay them out in stretches pretty quickly. Or could be fitted over the barriers like a sleeve perhaps.

But I suspect part of the problem is scale and cost. How many sports are there where you need a long continuous barrier which simultaneously separates spectators and protects human bodies impacting at 50-60km/h? I can’t actually think of anything else.

0

Skiing?

0

A really good night out?
Teocalli says:

Jul 7 2017 at 10:02 am

@wiscot

What’s the French for “won it by a baw hair?”

C’mon ASO, get crazy – give the stage a joint winner. I’m a big Kittel fan but I like Eddy BH too. That would have been sweet to give a joint victory. I don’t think either would have minded and it’s good PR and a nice trivial question for the future.

0

Yeah I thought that too. That was taking technology too far.
MangoDave says:

Jul 7 2017 at 10:16 am

@chris

@RobSandy

You need to change your username and icon thingy if you’re going to carry on with this piracy malarkey.

Although I’m not sure how you’d keep it cycling themed. @Seaman Sandy’s Scratchy Chamois?

0

or @RobScurvy?
wiscot says:

Jul 7 2017 at 10:32 am

@Teocalli

@wiscot

What’s the French for “won it by a baw hair?”

C’mon ASO, get crazy – give the stage a joint winner. I’m a big Kittel fan but I like Eddy BH too. That would have been sweet to give a joint victory. I don’t think either would have minded and it’s good PR and a nice trivial question for the future.

0

Yeah I thought that too. That was taking technology too far.

0

If ASO can produce a photo with enough resolution to clearly show Kittel as the winner, then fine. Otherwise, it's a tie. Of course, too bloody late now. Imagine how much fun that would have been to have Der Pompadour and Eddy B on the podium together. It would have been a superb "feel-good" moment for the race, the riders and the fans.
Rick says:

Jul 7 2017 at 11:09 am

@wiscot

@Teocalli

@wiscot

What’s the French for “won it by a baw hair?”

C’mon ASO, get crazy – give the stage a joint winner. I’m a big Kittel fan but I like Eddy BH too. That would have been sweet to give a joint victory. I don’t think either would have minded and it’s good PR and a nice trivial question for the future.

0

Yeah I thought that too. That was taking technology too far.

0

If ASO can produce a photo with enough resolution to clearly show Kittel as the winner, then fine. Otherwise, it’s a tie. Of course, too bloody late now. Imagine how much fun that would have been to have Der Pompadour and Eddy B on the podium together. It would have been a superb “feel-good” moment for the race, the riders and the fans.

0

Come on guys, it wasn't even that close:

According to L'Equipe, the Tissot time keepers have calculated Kittel's winning margin as just 0.0003 of a second or just 6mm in distance considering the speed he was travelling.
Rick says:

Jul 7 2017 at 11:12 am

@Rick

The post regarding the time above reminds me of this classic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4upY8UWrsU
wiscot says:

Jul 7 2017 at 11:20 am

@Rick

@Rick

The post regarding the time above reminds me of this classic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4upY8UWrsU

0

Hadn't seen that one before! Olympic Hide-and-Seek? Seems as legit as some of the shite that are now recognized as Olympic "sports."
wiscot says:

Jul 7 2017 at 11:25 am

@Rick

@wiscot

@Teocalli

@wiscot

What’s the French for “won it by a baw hair?”

C’mon ASO, get crazy – give the stage a joint winner. I’m a big Kittel fan but I like Eddy BH too. That would have been sweet to give a joint victory. I don’t think either would have minded and it’s good PR and a nice trivial question for the future.

0

Yeah I thought that too. That was taking technology too far.

0

If ASO can produce a photo with enough resolution to clearly show Kittel as the winner, then fine. Otherwise, it’s a tie. Of course, too bloody late now. Imagine how much fun that would have been to have Der Pompadour and Eddy B on the podium together. It would have been a superb “feel-good” moment for the race, the riders and the fans.

0

Come on guys, it wasn’t even that close:

According to L’Equipe, the Tissot time keepers have calculated Kittel’s winning margin as just 0.0003 of a second or just 6mm in distance considering the speed he was travelling.

0

I'm sorry, but 3,000ths of a second? Give me a break. Back in the day of a human being with his thumb on a stopwatch,that's a tie. Technology's great and all that, but really, 3000ths of a second . . .

I now demand that the General Classification be measured to 1000s of a second. You can never be too careful you know. Those thousandths can add up over a tour into 100ths of a second!