Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France Stage 17

Jens the Barbarian descends on a loaner bike with toe clips; Photo: Fyxomatosis

At one point [Conan the Barbarian], and his other old warrior friends capture this village, but then they find that they are surrounded by an army of tens of thousands, and his only reaction is, “Oh man, it’s going to take days to kill all these people!” – Jens Voigt

This (paraphrased) passage from Terry Pratchett’s parody of the famous character helped Jens struggle through a stage that would have seen weaker men climb into the broom wagon. But struggle through he did, and he should swing his leg over the top tube of his (own) bike again at the start line of Stage 17.

I look at this photo and realize that I’m a sick man. I see his blood-soaked clothes and body, and the first thing I say to myself is, “How did he get his Speedplay cleats to stay in those old pedals? And check out those sweet old Campy Chorus alu Ergos! I’ve been looking for a pair of those!”

But I digress. The inaugural Velominati Super Prestige launches it’s third VSP Sub-Competition with Stage 17 of the Tour de France. The competition will allow contestants the opportunity to win bonus points in the VSP Tour de France by choosing the top three finishers of the stage for a chance to win 3 points for first place, 2 for second, and 1 for third.

Stage 17 should prove to be the most decisive stage of the race, providing Brother Grimpeur the Younger his final legitimate opportunity to win this Tour de France while – in theory at least – Bertie YouTube needs to do little more than defend his position to be almost assured of taking his third crown. Schleck said during the rest day that the first man to reach La Mongie atop the Tourmalet will win this Tour; will Grimpito set off the Guns of Navarone and take enough time in order to stave off the inevitable surge from Contador in the final time trial on Saturday? Or will the Climbing Paella launch a surprise attack to prove he is the strongest climber in this years Tour, taking time out of Schleck before the time trial?

Make your picks for the top three of the day by the time tomorrow’s stage starts, regular VSP Rules apply. Good luck!

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Kermitpunk says:

Jul 22 2010 at 8:40 am

Nice ride. I loved the look Grimplet gave Bad Boy Bertie after Bertie tried to break away at 3.5km. "Do that again and I'll rip your legs off." But little from Grimpito to try to shed Bertie apart from pushing a hard climb. Nice to see Hesjedal hang in there for fourth. Was hoping for a strong finish, but would never have tipped him for top five. Big chapeau there.
Nathan says:

Jul 22 2010 at 8:55 am

Does anybody else think this was a little like the Puy de Dome in '64... Apart from Grimpito didn't drop him. Does that mean he'll be the new eternal second.

@Cyclops
Oh My!
Hawkeye says:

Jul 22 2010 at 8:57 am

Quality day!

Ride of the day was Hesjedal for mine. Seeing that lanky bugger emerge out of the mist behind Rodriguez was dead cool. Total legend. The big Canadian diesel just went to another level.
Marko says:

Jul 22 2010 at 9:10 am

Hesjedal seems to be the Twiggo of 2010. Maybe Vaughters has something to do with it.
frank says:

Jul 22 2010 at 9:22 am

@Velomihottie

Having to have things organized is for small minded people. The Genius controls the chaos!

Shit.
frank says:

Jul 22 2010 at 9:25 am

@Nathan

Does anybody else think this was a little like the Puy de Dome in '64... Apart from Grimpito didn't drop him. Does that mean he'll be the new eternal second.

Indeed. I think YouTube's attack was a masterful bluff; I think he was moments from cracking and decided to attack. His head was rolling and really looked like he was on the ropes. I was really hoping for Andy to take it, but those guys are matched so damn closely, it's unreal. I'm hoping for some TT fireworks.
frank says:

Jul 22 2010 at 9:27 am

@Marko

Hesjedal seems to be the Twiggo of 2010. Maybe Vaughters has something to do with it.

It's the Mischievous Turtleneck Sweater that is the real genius in that team.
frank says:

Jul 22 2010 at 9:29 am

I love that Phil and Paul were going at it over whether or not they would be finishing in the clouds.
Phil: They'll break through and finish in the sunshine!
Paul: I'm not so sure they will, Phil.
Phil: Oh, they will, I assure you of that!
Paul (later): ...and these two men are climbing through the cloulds like to two shadows...
Phil: But they'll break through and finish in the sunshine!
Kermitpunk says:

Jul 22 2010 at 10:02 am

Hawkeye :Quality day!
Ride of the day was Hesjedal for mine. Seeing that lanky bugger emerge out of the mist behind Rodriguez was dead cool. Total legend. The big Canadian diesel just went to another level.

Big Diesel: nice nickname.

Marko :Hesjedal seems to be the Twiggo of 2010. Maybe Vaughters has something to do with it.

Yes and no. He's a pretty humble guy (which I like), and I think he has better lasting power. I think he's still more of a classics rider and he knows it.
frank says:

Jul 22 2010 at 11:15 am

@all
Wow, perfect scores from Kermitpunk and Geof! Some other good showings for those who (not surprisingly) picked Grimpito and YouTube.

Strong work.