Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France

Two douchebags and A. Grimpeur rocket up the Ventoux in 2009

The inaugural Velominati Super Prestige continues the with Tour de France edition, on Saturday July 3rd in Rotterdam, the Netherlands, just kilometers from the start of the Giro d’Italia in Amsterdam (Dutchland is a small country). This will be the second Grand Tour of the series, and at this stage the Grand Tour rules and regulations are fairly well-defined, so take a moment to review them on the VSP Page.

The Tour is, of course, a major event.  My personal preference lies with the Giro, but there is no denying the magnitude of the Tour and the appeal it holds.  For three weeks, the world pays attention to our sport, and – provided the Tour doesn’t coincide with the World Cup football matches – this is the biggest sporting event during this time of the year.  (An interesting observation: the last time these events coincided, the winner was eventually stripped of his title.)

Having run the VSP Giro edition where we tested the ruleset for Grand Tours, we’ve managed to set up a scoring system that seems fair and helps to close down the competition to afford newcomers the ability to catch up with some good picks; the Giro proved that lineup switches and the associated penalties kept the point gains pretty small while allowing strategy to play an interesting role.  There is a full overview of the rules and standing at the VSP Schedule, Rules, & Results page, but here is the ten-second overview:

Every contestant is to choose their top five General Classification picks of the race.  The final podium of le Grande Boucle is worth 15 points to the winner, 10 points for second, 5 points for third, 3 points for fourth, and 2 point for fifth.  Given the effect crashes can have on a tour, we’ve set up some guidelines around making changes to your lineup during the race: you’re allowed to change your lineup if any rider in your pick list drops out for any reason without any penalty; rest days will allow contestants to make changes to their lineup, however those changes will come at a point penalty.  (Visit the VSP Schedule, Rules, & Results page for a complete breakdown of these points.)

Every day, the leader in the points standings will have the honor of wearing the Yellow Jersey when posting on the site; the overall winner will wear the Yellow Jersey for the remainder of the season and will also earn an “Obey the Rules” bumper sticker.  All reader’s points qualify towards the final prize of the free Velominati Shop Apron.  As always, if you are inclined to enter, simply post your predictions for the top five placings.

New to the Tour de France edition is the addition of naming the winner of the Green and Polka-dot jerseys for the Tour.  There will be no points awarded towards these two jerseys, but the leader of the competition of these jerseys will have the honor of commenting with a Green or Polka-dot jersey badge throughout the competition and the winner will earn the right to comment with that badge until next year’s Tour.  The contestant who picks both the final Green and Polka jersey winners correctly will win a Velominati Logo bumper sticker.   Tie-breakers will go to the first contestant who posts their entire lineup (all 5 GC picks plus Green and Polka-dot jersey winners).  Given that this sub-competition has no points, pick substitutions will only be granted under the DNF regulations of the VSP; no rest-day substitutions are allowed.

Sub-competitions will be conducted while the Tour is underway for specific stages.  These stages will be chosen a few days prior to the stage being held and will be selected based on the current race conditions with the aim of choosing the most decisive and exciting stages of the race, so check back often to make sure you don’t miss out.  Sub-competitions will be held in separate editions.

Good luck!

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759 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France”

  1. some good riding from geraint too, getting on the right side of a split and picking up 3 seconds.

  2. I nominate Farrar for a HTFU Award. Second place with a fractured wrist that limits his sprinting ability.

  3. @Joshua
    No kidding. I thought HTC Columbia was dead in the water after Garmin seemed to pull away. Timed to perfection by Renshaw.

  4. @all
    No change again in the standings.

    Also, everyone stand by: We will post a VSP on Saturday afternoon for Sunday’s Stage 8. Details to come, but the competition will be for naming the top three of the stage, worth 3, 2, and 1 points. We will publish the VSP on Saturday after the stage finish and participants should post their picks there when it comes online.

  5. Chapeau to the Douche and Renshaw today. Quality work! Just wish he wasn’t such a cockhead.

    From memory, didn’t Thor win the Green last year by more points than the Douche lost on his one DQ’d stage? That was Douche’s first ever show of grace in defeat (or victory) when he took back his ricockulous statements made the day previous straight after he was done in for not riding a fair line (reckon Haussler might have some things to add about Cav and his lines). Hushovd put the green beyond doubt with a lumpy breakaway ride that Cav could only do with George pushing him most of the way (hello MSR victory ’09), and would have won the whole shebang with or without Douche being relegated that one day, and Douche said something like “fair play, Thor deserves the green jersey.”

    Best rider under the rules as they entered the race. They’re cool rules as they’ve generated this much interest and debate.

  6. @Hawkeye
    Bingo. That’s how I remember it, too. After his ride, he gained more points than Cav lost when relegated. Looking at the final result is skewed, though, since he rolled over line in Paris without really contesting that last sprint, knowing he had it in the bag.

    For me, I’ve always admired the sprinters like Zabel, O’Grady, and now Hushovd, who can do other things aside from just sprint. One of the reasons I never got aboard the McEwen Wagon (sorry, Marcus) was his unwillingness to climb a mountain at any kind of pace. I think one year that McEwen and Zabel were within points of each other in Paris, McEwen was something like 3 hours behind Zabel on GC. That, to me, seems just wrong.

  7. @frank Come on now, Frank. Be fair. We may be butting heads on variety of matters, but I never claimed the green jersey should be simply the sprinter’s jersey. I’m fond of the idea of turning it into a hardman’s jersey.

  8. Not to detract from Thor, but I think he won by 10 points and C-Douche lost 14 in the sprint that was set aside. Pretty sure that Thor didn’t really compete on the Champs Elysee though (where a few points would probably still have won it)….However I saw that stage after getting the party train from the south of france and had also stood in the sun for 7hrs drinking beer and wine. It was only through a rigorous observance of Rule #5 and near zen master, bladder control that I managed to scrape through…

  9. @frank
    to paraphrase a famous quote of Robbie’s, a non-cycling journo asked him why he can’t climb hills fast, “dunno if I can or can’t. I’ve never tried. Cos I can sprint.”

    Spoken in the finest Gold Coast Aussie bogan twang. You gotta love him Frank – one of the sprinting greats who has never had the luxury (or need?) of a leadout man other than one year with Steegmans (hasn’t he fallen off the face of the earth?) when he dominated. Free your mind maaaaaate.

    I do hope he wins a stage this year – even more so after he got taken down after the last stage by a douche of an official jumping in front of him.

  10. @Marcus
    He was the only guy to put a chill in Cipo’s esspresso, wasn’t he? And that without a train…I guess I just wish he tried a little more over the bumps. But no denying he was a whippersnapper little shitstorm!

    @all
    My god, that Footon team kit is just nasty. Christ, every time Michelle sees it she instinctively yells, “There’s been a crash! That guy lost one side of his shorts!!”

  11. @Marcus
    Definitely a cagey sprinter. Knows where to be.

    Good stage today. Nice to see Quick Step doing so well. And another very brave ride from Hesjedal! Of course, all the guys I had in mind for tomorrow’s stage picks bust their gut today and didn’t get anywhere. Will need to rethink…

  12. @all
    Haven’t seen official KOM and Points results, but we had a big shuffle on the GC today:

    1 Brett 13 points
    2 Jarvis 13 points
    3 Crossy 11 points
    4 Ben 3 points
    5 Andy 2 points
    6 Geof 2 points
    7 Marcus 2 points
    8 Frank 2 points
    9 Hawkeye 2 points
    10 David 1 point
    11 Marko 1 point
    12 Roadslave 1 point
    13 Steampunk 1 point
    14 Roberto Marques 1 point
    15 Souleur 1 point
    16 John 1 point
    17 Rob 1 point
    18 Houdini 1 point
    19 Pont 1 point
    20 Scott 1 point
    21 Daniel 1 point
    22 Joshua 1 point
    23 David Edwards 1 point
    24 Cyclops 0 points
    25 Dan O 0 points
    26 Joe 0 points

    Congrats to Jarvis for taking Yellow today. I’ll post updates to KOM and Points if there’s a change there as well.

  13. Liquigas to start throwing its weight around tomorrow? Maybe put Kreuziger in jaune with Basso picking up a bit of time? A la Nibali at the Giro? They’ve been quiet and seem to have the team for it…

  14. @Kermitpunk
    Who knows? I can’t wait! I’ll have to set the alarm, something I’m normally loathe to do on a Sunday! And then after the Dutchland plays in the World Cup final…Big day for idiots like me!

  15. @all
    We have fuck all for KOM picks, but I think Geof still has the lead there for picking Lloyd who’s in 15th on the competition (Marko picked Garate who is in 7th or so, but the jersey falls to Geof in this case.)

  16. @frank: I agree, that Footen nasty kit is the worst I have seen since…well….since like radioshack. Really, did radioshack pay someone to come up with that, and the bike paint, looks like someone threw up at 50k splattering something down the side of that thing

  17. I’m pretty stoked to see Cadel in Yellow.
    BTW, I did my first crit last night. I took 13th in the 4/5 class. I was hoping for a top ten but at least I didn’t crash and I did a lot of work in our group so I’m pretty satisfied.

  18. @all

    Updated standings; awesome race today sees newcomer Scott take yellow! Well done!

    1 Scott 12 points
    2 Andy 11 points
    3 Geof 11 points
    4 Marcus 11 points
    5 Frank 11 points
    6 Hawkeye 11 points
    7 Roadslave 10 points
    8 Steampunk 10 points
    9 John 10 points
    10 Rob 10 points
    11 Marko 2 points
    12 Brett 2 points
    13 Crossy 2 points
    14 Jarvis 2 points
    15 David 1 point
    16 Roberto Marques 1 point
    17 Souleur 1 point
    18 Dan O 1 point
    19 Houdini 1 point
    20 Ben 1 point
    21 Pont 1 point
    22 Daniel 1 point
    23 Joshua 1 point
    24 Nathan David Edwards 1 point
    25 Cyclops 0 points
    26 Joe 0 points

  19. Sweeet! What an epic stage today! Pissing rain here today so I have been hunkered down in my den, watching Le Tour, drinking beer and hiding out from my wife and kids. Amazing to see Schleck ride away from Contador an as much as I absolutely fukkin hate Evans he rode well. Armstrong? Well…no comment.

  20. @all
    My heart is broken over the Dutch loss in the Football World Cup. No shit, Michelle’s mom just said to me, “You know what, Frank? Rule #5.”

  21. @all
    Just realized that Rob took Polka-dots today with the first pick to Gesink. Well done, my boy!

  22. @Scott
    You’re making it hard on me, changing your email address like that, laddie! Corrected, and congrats!

    Fuck that fucking Octopus for picking Fucking Spain. I’m going out for sushi right now and having OCTOPUS.

    That octopus is a fucking asshole.

  23. @Frank
    I was pulling for the Dutch but in all fairness it seemed that the Spaniards put way more pressure on the Dutch than visa-versa. However, I have decided that soccer players are a bunch of pussies that need to HTFU. I’m pretty tired of all the theatrics every time somebody brushes against you.

  24. @Cyclops
    Yeah, the theatrics are totally un-Rule 5, but in fairness (I’m slowly sobering up) the unfair calls (there were many) were all neutralized on both sides. Spain scored a clean goal, and deserve the win.

    That doesn’t mean it didn’t break my heart. We pretend like sports are a rational thing, but they are not. I fucking wanted them to win. End of. And I’m pissed they lost.

    For me, one of the things that makes “being a fan” fun is the fact that you get to be irrational about the whole thing. I love the players and the teams because I love them. Mostly, it’s for irrational reasons: the look cool, or they ride bike I like, or they ride for a team I like, or they come from a country I like. This isn’t my job; this is my passion. Who ever said passion was rational?

  25. If Carles Puyol isn’t the definition of hardman, I don’t know what is. Not his best game, but he’s an absolute beast. I’m afraid I had Spain pegged as world champions more than two years ago. Not a lot of goals, but they were the class of the tournament. Xavi is the best player in the world; and nobody knows it…

  26. @frank
    @all
    There was just a bombing in Uganda’s capital, killing at least 23 people. This happens to be one of the countries my Velomihottie helps manage. Talk about fucked up; forget about sports. That’s real-life. I’m an Atheist myself, but I hope whatever God you pray to smiles upon you and your loved ones and gives you good luck.

    And here we are, worried about sports.

  27. @Kermitpunk
    Well, I’m already gunning for Dutchland for 2014. I can hardly wait. Until then, we have about 234241 awesome bike races to keep us occupied! Viva la Vie Velominatus!

  28. @Cyclops
    I’m with you, I can’t enjoy the sport anymore with all the prat-falls. A silly way to play a game. They should hand out acting awards to these pussies.

    @frank “I’m going out for sushi right now and having OCTOPUS.” That’s funny stuff right there. At least Spain beat Germany and wasn’t that Octopus trapped in Germany, ja? I don’t think animals have to claim citizenship. Poor bastard. He must be sushi already.

  29. @frank

    I know exactly what you mean Frank. I watched Hell on Wheels and got and instant Man Crush on Zabel just because he seemed really easy going and nice. And man what a nice ass, er, I mean, uh, wait a minute, nevermind…

  30. crossy :1. Contador2. Evans3. Schleck A4. Phamastrong5. Wiggins

    Ok, with Phama crashing out, I need to make changes, here goes… (Top three remain the same).
    Contador (my pistol had better not be a BB gun!)
    Evans (don’t step on my dog)
    Schleck A (I’m doing it for Franky boyo)
    Basso (que e doping control?)
    Menchov (let’s see if I can avoid stacking on a straight road)

  31. @frank Whoa – thanks I have been sequestered on an Island off the coast of Maine with no electronic gadgets so I have to catch up!

  32. Paaaaaaaaah. Rats. Missed out on the sunday action (and what action it was.)
    What a friggin Stud Navarro was on the front for Bertie and did you see Count Drac drop back down to Armstrongs group to pick up water and then diesel back up to the front?? Ouch!
    Grimp Jr is all the better for not being distracted by Frank I think…he did a proper job today. I respectfully wish to transfer him into the spot exited by Douchestrong.
    Syrup-o-figgo is looking ever more like a born domestique, how could he do me like that?

    Menchov, Kreuziger and Basso – serious stalking horses.

    (wonder when Berties going to succomb to a shot of jungle juice and get his legs back…he looks very human at the mo…)

  33. @all

    Only one contestant gained any points yesterday in the bonus round, although in retrospect, I can’t understand why I didn’t go for Schleck; I fear I betrayed my boy. Stone tablet is updated with bonus points. Get your substitutions in by stage start tomorrow.

    Armstrong fell over 10 minutes behind yesterday, so any changes will be free of penalty points for Armstrong subs (although they have to be justified); all others will be scored according to the changes of the picks rules on the VSP page.

    1 Scott 12 points
    2 Andy 11 points
    3 Geof 11 points
    4 Marcus 11 points
    5 Frank 11 points
    6 Hawkeye 11 points
    7 Roadslave 10 points
    8 Steampunk 10 points
    9 John 10 points
    10 Rob 10 points
    11 Marko 2 points
    12 Brett 2 points
    13 Crossy 2 points
    14 Jarvis 2 points
    15 David 1 point
    16 Roberto Marques 1 point
    17 Souleur 1 point
    18 Dan O 1 point
    19 Houdini 1 point
    20 Ben 1 point
    21 Pont 1 point
    22 Daniel 1 point
    23 Joshua 1 point
    24 Nathan Edwards 1 point
    25 Cyclops 0 points
    26 Joe 0 points

  34. Swapping Armstrong for Leipheimer. I don’t think it’s sporting for me to put Cuddles or Menchov in there, so I’m going to err on the side of fair play. Picks stay in the same order, save for Eggtimer bringing up the rear.

    1. Alberto Contador
    2. Ivan Basso
    3. A. Grimpeur the YOUNGER
    4. KREUZIGERRRRR
    5. Leipheimer

  35. Oh and Andy’s salute was what I like to call either the “Speed Bag” or the “Climb the Ladder”… you decide which is appropriate.

  36. @ben
    That salute was everything I love about a salute. A roar and then a release of emotion. Loved it!

    @Joe, @ben, @crossy: Picks updated. Cheers.

    @Nathan Edwards Name updated in stone tablet.

  37. I’ve had an epiphany. Lance is done, Levi is won’t be a factor, so because of the Big George common denominator Radio Shack will start working for Cadel and BMC to keep Cantadore off the top step. Yay! I win.

  38. I gotta say, as much as I think Cadelephant is a weird guy, I wouldn’t mind seeing him win Le Tour. He looked hard as nails yesterday after crashing and then hanging at the front with the main group.

    Cunt-Odor looked a bit human, but today’s the rest day and we’ve only just finished the first week of the tour, so I wouldn’t slot him for 2nd or 3rd just yet on the notion that he’s “supposed” to hit top form when they get out of the bunny slopes and hit the pyrenees.

    My only worry is that if all that hype about Contie getting into better form as the tour progresses is true, then will Schleck A be able to drop him again like he did? Or will Contie be the last to laugh?

    As for RadioShack, I truly am sad to see Armstrong go out like this. I know you guys like to rip on him, but he was my hero when I was a kid, and he still is. I still look up to the guy with boyish wonder. I mean, come on, beating cancer after it metastasized to his lungs and brain, then winning 7 tours in a row, and spreading awareness about cancer and donating more money than I could ever dream of having? Rule #5 at its finest. The Uni-Testicle produces more potent Rule #5 than any of us could ever hope to achieve. Not a big Egghead fan to be honest, though. Johan said it himself, though, the team now rides for Levi. Hopefully Armstrong can squeeze out a little of his old brilliance on the pedals and go for a dramatic stage win in the pyrenees. Overall, I’d rather see the Shack working against Astana and wheeling and dealing with Saxo-Bank and BMC.

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