Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France

Two douchebags and A. Grimpeur rocket up the Ventoux in 2009

The inaugural Velominati Super Prestige continues the with Tour de France edition, on Saturday July 3rd in Rotterdam, the Netherlands, just kilometers from the start of the Giro d’Italia in Amsterdam (Dutchland is a small country). This will be the second Grand Tour of the series, and at this stage the Grand Tour rules and regulations are fairly well-defined, so take a moment to review them on the VSP Page.

The Tour is, of course, a major event.  My personal preference lies with the Giro, but there is no denying the magnitude of the Tour and the appeal it holds.  For three weeks, the world pays attention to our sport, and – provided the Tour doesn’t coincide with the World Cup football matches – this is the biggest sporting event during this time of the year.  (An interesting observation: the last time these events coincided, the winner was eventually stripped of his title.)

Having run the VSP Giro edition where we tested the ruleset for Grand Tours, we’ve managed to set up a scoring system that seems fair and helps to close down the competition to afford newcomers the ability to catch up with some good picks; the Giro proved that lineup switches and the associated penalties kept the point gains pretty small while allowing strategy to play an interesting role.  There is a full overview of the rules and standing at the VSP Schedule, Rules, & Results page, but here is the ten-second overview:

Every contestant is to choose their top five General Classification picks of the race.  The final podium of le Grande Boucle is worth 15 points to the winner, 10 points for second, 5 points for third, 3 points for fourth, and 2 point for fifth.  Given the effect crashes can have on a tour, we’ve set up some guidelines around making changes to your lineup during the race: you’re allowed to change your lineup if any rider in your pick list drops out for any reason without any penalty; rest days will allow contestants to make changes to their lineup, however those changes will come at a point penalty.  (Visit the VSP Schedule, Rules, & Results page for a complete breakdown of these points.)

Every day, the leader in the points standings will have the honor of wearing the Yellow Jersey when posting on the site; the overall winner will wear the Yellow Jersey for the remainder of the season and will also earn an “Obey the Rules” bumper sticker.  All reader’s points qualify towards the final prize of the free Velominati Shop Apron.  As always, if you are inclined to enter, simply post your predictions for the top five placings.

New to the Tour de France edition is the addition of naming the winner of the Green and Polka-dot jerseys for the Tour.  There will be no points awarded towards these two jerseys, but the leader of the competition of these jerseys will have the honor of commenting with a Green or Polka-dot jersey badge throughout the competition and the winner will earn the right to comment with that badge until next year’s Tour.  The contestant who picks both the final Green and Polka jersey winners correctly will win a Velominati Logo bumper sticker.   Tie-breakers will go to the first contestant who posts their entire lineup (all 5 GC picks plus Green and Polka-dot jersey winners).  Given that this sub-competition has no points, pick substitutions will only be granted under the DNF regulations of the VSP; no rest-day substitutions are allowed.

Sub-competitions will be conducted while the Tour is underway for specific stages.  These stages will be chosen a few days prior to the stage being held and will be selected based on the current race conditions with the aim of choosing the most decisive and exciting stages of the race, so check back often to make sure you don’t miss out.  Sub-competitions will be held in separate editions.

Good luck!

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759 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France”

  1. @david
    My Canadians rode very well today, thank you very much.

    @roadslave
    The American definition of “irony” is a garment that’s been pressed and folded.

  2. @roadslave I stand by my assessment that Lance is going to devour his entire team, and they will willing jump into his gaping maw to allow him that. Popo was completely trashing himself during that chase, and when he popped, Lance went. Simple. That’s what a Popo is there for…

  3. @david
    your use of the word Brits is quite prescient David.

    See the way the English will find someone like Thomas (Welsh) and suddenly start talking about “Britain”. But then at other times they will talk about their “English” football team.

    And that is without mentioning:
    Wiggins, born in Belgium with an Australian pro-cyclist father?
    Millar, born in Malta, considers Hong Kong his home, but is a Scot?

  4. @frank
    Why did I click? Why did I click? Why did I click?

    See what you Americans do to Canadians? It’s like Lance to RS (as per Ben above): devouring everything and spitting it out a pittance of its former self. Bryan Adams was halfway decent before he got roped into doing that pathetic Robin Hood stuff. Lord, I’m discouraged…

  5. This is one of those few times I am fan of Lance:

    Any rider who battles through that dirt deserves some HUP.

  6. Impressive ride from him today. Love him or hate him, he’s one tough customer.

  7. Whilst I am undoubtedly biased, click below for a read of Simon Gerrans’ Stage 3 description. Great read on a day in the life of a domestique.

    http://www.simongerrans.com/news/147/63/

    Not need for him to brush up on Rule #5. Send that to any of your mates who think cycling is for shaven-legged lycra-clad sissies (although that label is correct, save for the sissy bit).

  8. @Marcus
    Rule #5 indeed.

    Surreal experience this morning. Got up to watch last two hours of the race (which Sky replays in full from 6am). Watched with a mixture of horror and awe as the carnage unfolded (like the day before) and Rule #5 was adhered to in massive quantities all over the place (unlike the day before). Then, when it was over, instinctively flicked over to catch the end of the Netherlands / Uruguay game, in time to see yet another tedious display of faked agony (and predictably officious ensuing outburst from the little man with the whistle). And, once I had got over the severe discombobulation occasioned by the switch from chaps with balls without a ball to chaps with a ball but no balls, I thought, with a sense of smug self-satisfaction, “yes, I obsess about the right sport”. (Yes, Frank, I know that some of the chaps without balls were in orange. But, really, that doesn’t excuse their testicular absence.)

  9. VSP Master, herewith my re-submitted picks (given Grimpeur F’s very sad departure):

    1. Alberto Can’t-adore-but-can-certainly-admire. (As per initial pick, and even more definitely now.)
    2. Andy Grimpeur. (Also as per initial pick. I admit to misgivings given the pounding his skinny little frame has taken in the last two days and Brother Frank’s absence. But the way he manned up on both days is pretty impressive, he’s still got an awesome team (including Fugslang, who should assist in the mountains), he’ll bemotivated to do it for his bro, and he won’t have any temptation to wait and try to tow Frank up a hill to try to get him on the podium.)
    3. Robert Ges-weak. (Not a show, I don’t think, despite his HTFUing into 47th place today with a broken bone. But Frank’s absence doesn’t change the race dynamics for Frail Robert in a way which would justify turfing him, so I don’t see how I can swap him out without risking Piti Principle justice.)
    4. Good Cadelephant. (Am not confident. Basso, Kreuziger, Twiggy, Vino(?!!!), etc all possibilities. But he HTFU’d today and I don’t think he’ll crumple like last year.)
    5. Pharmstrong. (Again, given the Piti Principle, the only thing I think I could legitiately do is move him up to fourth in place of Frank. But I don’t want to do that.)

  10. Shit, been at work, come home to NO cable TV and internet! FUCK! So waiting til 24 hours after to see half hour highlights. Can’t wait.

    Looks like the boys manned up big time. Loving the rides from Thor, Cadelephantitis (look to the Lexicon) G-Tom and even Poncellara (who redeemed himself a poofteenth, but only just).

    It’s shaping up nicely, eh?

  11. @Marko – COTHO he may be….but the bloke is a hard b’stard. Awesome riding from him after the pucture yesterday. Check out this pic….

  12. @Joe
    Reckon that dust cloud was Lance’s former domestique Whitey (now Garmin Transitions DS) doing wheel spins in front of him. Hahahaha.

    Banged and Felled is (sadly) out, so I’ll substitute… Basso please. He lost more to Good Cadel in the Giro mud stage and shredded him later. He won’t be able to take as much time here because the stages aren’t so ludicrously over the top, but will drag more than the other lads who need time.

    Is going to be great watching COTHO attack, be covered, then dropped by the younger blokes. His PR spin gymnastics will have to be at their absolute best to explain that away. How (or who) do you ad hominem attack to talk your way out of that? Guess he’ll just have to pull out his cancer shield again…

    Yes I’m a bitter bitch.

  13. Wow! Canvencan’tdish. At all. Not even in the top ten today. To be fair, it looked as though his train was forced to go earlier than they wanted. It’s probably good to see more than one decent train on the Tour. Petacchi looks scary fast, and nice to see him back up his boast from stage 1.

  14. @Hawkeye

    Guess he’ll just have to pull out his cancer shield again…

    Cancer shield, it’s inspired! I don’t dope, I have a Cancer foundation! I can go back on what I said, I have a Cancer foundation? How dare you attack me, don’t you know Cancer is bigger than the Tour?

  15. Cyclops :

    Dang Manxgina Missle

    I like it.

    It’s great to see Garmin getting some results too. Looks like if the sprint had been 100m longer Dean may have passed Ali-Jet. Thor just didn’t have the mustard today.

  16. @Cyclops

    Manxgina Missle

    Yesterday with your Rule, and now today with this. You are on fire, my son!

    @Canarypunk
    Cavennochanceinhellforthegreenjerseydish sure isn’t firing like last year. Suprised Hushovd fell back as far as he did in the sprint; although you can’t blame him after slogging himself over stones like he did yesterday.

    @all
    I forgot to toss up my change for The Man With Almost The Same Name As Me, but picked Evans (regretting it already based on Hawkeye’s input) last night. Honest, I just forgot to post them here! Promise!

  17. Petacchi in Green? My god, the color clash of Lampre cotton-candy wear with the maillot vert….

  18. @all
    Looks like no change in the GC, but we have some minor changes today due to various contestants who sub’d out F. Schleck for Evans:

    1 Andy 5 points
    2 Hawkeye 5 points
    3 Marko 1 point
    4 Marcus 1 point
    5 Brett 1 point
    6 Houdini 1 point
    7 Frank 1 point
    8 Crossy 1 point
    9 Jarvis 1 point
    10 Pont 1 point
    11 Geof 1 point
    12 David 0 points
    13 Roadslave 0 points
    14 Steampunk 0 points
    15 Cyclops 0 points
    16 Roberto Marques 0 points
    17 Souleur 0 points
    18 John 0 points
    19 Rob 0 points
    20 Dan O 0 points
    21 Joe 0 points
    22 Ben 0 points
    23 Scott 0 points
    24 Daniel 0 points
    25 Joshua 0 points
    26 David Edwards 0 points

    David, Houdini, and Pont: I didn’t get any sub’s from you for Frankie Boy; I’ll extend the deadline through today for you, but that’s it! Post your changes here, or point me to them if you already made them and I just missed ’em.

    Cheers!

  19. @Marko
    If you’d asked me last week who the two-horsed race would have features, I would likely have said Cav and Farrar. That’s Petacchi’s 46th Grand Tour win. That’s crazy!

    @ben
    If it comes to that, I’m sure Frank will fly over and sort them out.

  20. frank :@Canarypunk
    Cavennochanceinhellforthegreenjerseydish sure isn’t firing like last year. Suprised Hushovd fell back as far as he did in the sprint; although you can’t blame him after slogging himself over stones like he did yesterday.

    How long before Cavenificantbeingreenimgoinghomedish drops out? Surely without a win in the next couple of stages, he’ll be packing it in.

  21. @Kermitpunk
    That’s it, Cavencantdish and instructions for all the possibilities is going into the Lexicon. This is too good.

    @Hawkeye
    Dotted Jumper went in there too.

  22. Caven-dick’s coach, the classy Zabel, wasn’t all to complementary lately after yesterday saying he probably has already given up on the green….

    wow…after 3 stages, that didn’t take long

    Maybe he needs a healthy dose of Rule #5?

  23. AMENDMENT.

    Oh my, I’m afraid the secretary made a major boo boo when submitting my top-5. The dozy wench comically included Schleck F at No5 when, of course, my instruction had clearly been for the one-man band that is Evans C. Rest assured that she has been sanctioned and that this regrettable event will not occur again (ever).

    Apologies to the Forum.

  24. @Pont
    Cheers, I hope you fired the lazy skol. You now have one point, you Pontsie lad. Couldn’t resist.

    @Souleur
    A-Merckx, brother. Zabel fighting for the last points on the final stage was often the last interesting thing happening in the Armstrong years of Tours Past. Doesn’t Cavencantdish realize that this race is about more than week 1? Healthy dose of Rule #5 after the hearty helping of Humble Pie he’s being served will do him good.

    He’s such a great sprinter, it would be awfully nice if he made himself in the least bit likable.

  25. I hope cavencantwinashitbigracemaybegriepelshouldhavebeenHTCssprinterinthistourdish doesn’t go home, watching him (and the other sprinters) suffer up the hard climbs is always one of my favourite tour moments (even though he’s riding them at double the speed i could)

    If he doesn’t bother competing for stage wins I will be pissed, mind.

    EBH rode well today too, I’m fully backing team sky and might even buy their kit. And wear it.

  26. Breaking news; The rug salesman is no longer carrying his wares with him at all times;

  27. @andy
    I can finally like him now! He’s tall, he’s got grinta, and he routinely looses bike races! It’s the perfect storm of qualities to make me like a rider.

  28. Hondo* jumping down the right hand side seemed to throw a real spanner in the works. HTC train doesn’t appear as strong as in 2009 when they used to come in at Warp Factor 9 so no one could step out of line. This year a little bit slower and seemingly with fewer men, Hondo jumps, Childish followed, no longer any cohesion in the HTC train, 2 down for Ale-jet.

    * According to Liggett and Sherwin. Which means it was probably Cunego.

  29. then fast forward to today, with Rapha stocking the best looking kit on the road

    No, it’s not, its mostly poncewear. Like wearing a bow tie. Yes, technically it’s a tie. But you still look like a clown when you wear one. (Their softshell jacket is, however, an excellent piece of kit. But overpriced unless you get it on sale.)

  30. Nof Landrien :

    then fast forward to today, with Rapha stocking the best looking kit on the road

    No, it’s not, its mostly poncewear. Like wearing a bow tie. Yes, technically it’s a tie. But you still look like a clown when you wear one. (Their softshell jacket is, however, an excellent piece of kit. But overpriced unless you get it on sale.)

    Then colour me a ponce. And I could care less.

    It is, without a doubt, the best kit I’ve ever used.

  31. good point boys!

    I just saw Caven-wellican’tdoitaswellasandy’s-dish just flop bigger than an ole mans plopper. And given the contour of this stage, being flatter than a kansas girls chest, I cannot even imagine Can’t-evencan’tclimbforcrap’ making it over Tourmalet

    Load’m boys, the broom wagons comin!!

  32. I mean, can’t Cav at least give it something, looked like he didn’t even give it anything 100m out??? Guys were going around him like he was a jr rider

  33. He might as well have a Cat 5 tattoo inked on his calf. No grinta, no sportsmanship, no humility. Not finding a lot of reasons to like him right now (not that I ever have).

  34. @Souleur
    Seems he had a bit of a temper tantrum?

    At the finish Cavendish refused to talk to the press, walking straight onto the team bus, his only communication coming when his helmet was sent flying out from the bus door.

    It might appear that someone doesn’t like being on the other end of the game, eh?

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