Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de Suisse 2012
This is an exciting time of year. The Giro is in the books, the Tour is firmly in everyone’s sights, and those of us with the vaguest idea of how the big race will unfold are prognosticating the loudest as we use races that are proven to reveal fuck-all about what will happen at the Tour to predict what will happen at the Tour.
With the Dauphiné underway we look to the start of the Tour de Suisse to peer deeper into the murk to see who is riding well. As far as I’m concerned, I might as well lay out all the rider’s names in a random pattern and blow snot-rockets at the floor to make my picks this year because I honestly haven’t the foggiest idea who will take it; the biggest race of the year is spinning up to be the biggest enigma of the year.
All this babbling serves to demonstrate another important point, and the reason why the Dauphiné wasn’t in the VSP: these stage races are little more than preparation races for the big names, and a chance for the smaller one’s to take center stage. So why did the Tour de Suisse get a VSP while the Dauphiné didn’t? For starters, the latter feels less like a dress rehearsal for the Tour, but mostly its because there is a mountain pass that has cobbles all the way up it in Switzerland (though I’m not sure if they’re riding it this year). How cool is that? I can get on board with any country who values labor costs little enough to pave an entire mountain road one cobble at a time. Yes, we’re that scientific here in the Velominati Boardroom.
When this race is over, we’ll have even less of a clue as to who will win in July (well, everyone except @Marcus, who needs neither evidence nor results in order to be sure Cuddles will win) and we’ll be able to distract ourselves with the various National Championships which will take place in the week leading up the Tour’s start and guessing wether Bruyneel has the nerve to cut either or both Schlecks from his Tour team.
So, dust off your monkey’s bones and 12-sided die, time to make your predictions for the 2012 Tour de Suisse. Check the Tour de Suisse site for the latest route and roster info and remember that since this is a stage race, (not a Grand Tour), points on offer are 10 for first place, 8 for second, 7 for third, 5 for fourth, and 3 for fifth – all based on the final General Classification; plus two bonus points per rider in the top five regardless of the rider’s placing. Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and pray for an intervention. Make sure you check the mappings of your picks before the race ends so you get the points you deserve, and use the dispute mechanism to alert us of any issues. Note that the dispute mechanism is the official means by which to raise concerns about your picks; questions about your mappings or disputes raised in the posts will be largely ignored.
Good luck.
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Kreuziger
3. Valverde
4. Leipheimer
5. Cunego
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Danielson
3. Levi
4. Valverde
5. Sagan
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Wouter Poels
3. P. Velits
4. Fuglsang
5. Valverde
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Kreuziger
3. Leiphimer
4. Danielson
5. Cunego
@King Clydesdale
While there’s no way he’ll beat out Nibbles as the go to guy in Le Tour, maybe they want him fresh to help. But really, that doesn’t make any sense since this years TDF is really lacking hills, and it’s about the TT. Who knows.
VSP PICKS:
1. Valverde
2. Leipheimer
3. Gesink
4. Kreuziger
5. Cunego
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Kreuzinger
3. Cunego
4. Leipheimer
5. Valverde
Wouter, why not? At this point I think I’m morally opposed to picking a fucking Schleck. Although I will be singing a different tune when Le Tour rolls around.
VSP PICKS:
1. Valverde
2. Gesink
3. Levi
4. Wouter Pouls
5. Kreuzinger
Last second picks, I’d rather make crap picks than none at all.
VSP PICKS:
1. Leipheimer
2. Faboo
3. Kreuziger
4. Gesink
5. Z. Stybar
No clue. Even less than usual. Which is not a lot. So, I’m pretty much thinking this will be my highest yield yet.
Read ’em and weep!
VSP PICKS:
1. Keep em Gesink
2. He Cant Go Quite Enough
3. Green Valve
4. Boom
5. Eggtimer
shit, I sent the carbon ball back to Frank via US Post, 3rd class, it’s heavy and I’m cheap. So I got nothing.
Sagan was a beast in TOC. I’ve badmouthed Cunego and Kreuziger, I hate Valverde, can’t pick him. I got nothing. Let the great slide down begin. I have to go with what I know, Fabooooooooooooooo!
VSP PICKS:
1. Cancellara
2. Gesink
3. Sagan
4. Lovkvist
5. Levi
VSP PICKS:
1. Sagan
2. Ituralde
3. Mollema
4. Kreuziger
5. Da Costa
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Sagan
3. Valverde
4. Faboo
5. Cunego
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Valverde
3. Kreuziger
4. Cunego
5. Leipheimer
On second guess…
Albasini out, the Blood of Fugl in.
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Kreuziger
3. Valverde
4. Fuglsang
5. Frank, Mathias
VSP PICKS:
1. Kreuziger
2. Ten Dam
3. Tom Danielson
4. Cameron Meyer
5. Chris Anker Sorenson
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. Valve cap
3. Sagan
4. Eggtimer
5. Kreuziger
VSP PICKS:
1. Kreuziger
2. Leipheimer
3. Sagan
4. Gesink
5. Cancellara
Phew! Just got home from grade seven camp in time to get picks in.
VSP PICKS:
1. gesink
2. kreuziger
3. leipheimer
4. valverde
5. cunego
VSP PICKS:
1. gesnik
2. kreuziger
3. valverde
4. cunego
5. leipheimer
Frank’s gonna give the big middle finger to the entire internet sometime. May as well be here.
VSP PICKS:
1. Frank Schleck
2. Frank Schleck
3. Frank Schleck
4. Frank Schleck
5. Frank Schleck
VSP PICKS:
1. Gesink
2. cunego
3. Valverde
4. Kreuziger
5. Leipheimer
VSP PICKS:
1. Scarponi
2. Gesink
3. Valverde
4. Hushovd
5. Valver
VSP PICKS:
1. Scarponi
2. Gesink
3. Valverde
4. Hushovd
5. Leipheimer
@xyxax
…been meaning to ask a real doctor such as yourself what foogle blood was. Fugl as a Danish variant of Vogel? Bird blood? Of course, I don’t know what I’m insisting on some French (must be almost that time of year…).
Delgado’d
8 Minutes until close of picks and I’m sitting here with coffee wondering if I should rearrange.
Ugh.
No.
@minion
It would be nice to see something like fireworks from Frank Schleck. While on the bike. And not soap-opera shite.
Tom Danielson is just out of the start house….
Spartacus is a beast
Sagan is more of a beast
@Belgian Cobblestones
Sweet new avatar.
@minion
That’ll hurt you more than me; that’s a zero-yield pick list right there!
@RedRanger
Both of those guys’s’s’s’s cannons are incredible.
@Dan_R
No shit. Andy out of the Dauphine. It would be better for his reputation if he didn’t race the Tour.
Wow. Did not expect that out of Sagan. As @inrng stated: Sagan isn’t a Slovak, he’s a Fastvak.
Meanwhile – ALBASINI. Toldja
Is this the first race back for Cancellara?
Fack! I can’t believe I DelGado’d this one, too.
Geez, Spartacus’s guns look awesome, so much bigger that most other riders.
@RedRanger
Chose Cancellara foremost for the epic comeback — that he should be aware of.
@frank
“I’ve abandoned too many times this year already.”-Andy Schleck
I guess he spoke too soon. If ever there was a rider in need of the V…
@Steampunk,
As my barber-surgeon always told me:
A foogle and his blood are soon parted.
@xyxax
Is that why barber-surgeons have gone the way of the dodo?
@Steampunk
Fugle is Danish for Bird, Sang is Danish for song, ergo Bird Song.
whoops, no e on the end of Fugl
@Mikael Liddy
That makes more sense. Trust doctors to make a bloody mess of it all!
Unbelievable prologue from Sagan – he’s a lunatic on the descents – I do hope he makes it to retirement
@ramenvelo
n+1: number of times in a season that a Schlexit thinks abandoning a race is acceptable.
@Steampunk
Off-Broadway?
@Mikael Liddy
Did you mean “Fluglsang”?
@Steampunk
From whence the surgeon’s credo: All bleeding stops eventually.
@xyxax
My goal on 2much: get you huffing early, because if you quip like this on the ride, I’m going to be laughing too hard to actually ride myself…
@xyxax
Lovechild of Miles Davis and Stevie Ray Vaughan?
@Steampunk
Plus: Getting me huffing and puffing will be the easiest thing you do that day.
Minus: My out-of-breath face is quite the spectacle.
I would like to think so.
Is it churlish to point out Davis’s parents were Rule #24 violators?