Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de Suisse 2012

Andy Hampsten becomes the first North American to win a National Tour at the Tour de Suisse.

This is an exciting time of year. The Giro is in the books, the Tour is firmly in everyone’s sights, and those of us with the vaguest idea of how the big race will unfold are prognosticating the loudest as we use races that are proven to reveal fuck-all about what will happen at the Tour to predict what will happen at the Tour.

With the Dauphiné underway we look to the start of the Tour de Suisse to peer deeper into the murk to see who is riding well. As far as I’m concerned, I might as well lay out all the rider’s names in a random pattern and blow snot-rockets at the floor to make my picks this year because I honestly haven’t the foggiest idea who will take it; the biggest race of the year is spinning up to be the biggest enigma of the year.

All this babbling serves to demonstrate another important point, and the reason why the Dauphiné wasn’t in the VSP: these stage races are little more than preparation races for the big names, and a chance for the smaller one’s to take center stage. So why did the Tour de Suisse get a VSP while the Dauphiné didn’t? For starters, the latter feels less like a dress rehearsal for the Tour, but mostly its because there is a mountain pass that has cobbles all the way up it in Switzerland (though I’m not sure if they’re riding it this year). How cool is that? I can get on board with any country who values labor costs little enough to pave an entire mountain road one cobble at a time. Yes, we’re that scientific here in the Velominati Boardroom.

When this race is over, we’ll have even less of a clue as to who will win in July (well, everyone except @Marcus, who needs neither evidence nor results in order to be sure Cuddles will win) and we’ll be able to distract ourselves with the various National Championships which will take place in the week leading up the Tour’s start and guessing wether Bruyneel has the nerve to cut either or both Schlecks from his Tour team.

So, dust off your monkey’s bones and 12-sided die, time to make your predictions for the 2012 Tour de Suisse. Check the Tour de Suisse site for the latest route and roster info and remember that since this is a stage race, (not a Grand Tour), points on offer are 10 for first place, 8 for second, 7 for third, 5 for fourth, and 3 for fifth – all based on the final General Classification; plus two bonus points per rider in the top five regardless of the rider’s placing. Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and pray for an intervention. Make sure you check the mappings of your picks before the race ends so you get the points you deserve, and use the dispute mechanism to alert us of any issues. Note that the dispute mechanism is the official means by which to raise concerns about your picks; questions about your mappings or disputes raised in the posts will be largely ignored.

Good luck.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

sthilzy says:

Jun 6 2012 at 4:50 pm

VSP PICKS:

1. Cunego
2. Sagan
3. Gesink
4. Leipheimer
5. Kreuzinger
brett says:

Jun 6 2012 at 4:51 pm

@Belgian Cobblestones

@the keepers , & kt participnts ; drove 100 km(antwerp) tonight to go check out the "on the road" movie based on the jack kerouac novel , who do i run into: non other than jesse willems also going to check out the same movie

Nice one Jac!
Marcus says:

Jun 6 2012 at 5:00 pm

@brett
@minion
Fucking glad I have never seen nor heard of that interviewer again. Who the hell is/was she? An embarrassment to Germany, I mean, Australia. She calls him "Henrick" the whole time, not "Heinrick".

She may well have been like that chick Kate Fitzpatrick, who David Hill (head of Channel 9) appointed to become the first and only very disastrous female cricket commentator.

"It's Packer here," his boss announced in a husky growl. "I don't have any comment on your latest exploit - just one question. Was she a good f---?"
An astounded Hill replied: "Mr Packer, I really wouldn't know."
"In that case, son," Packer snapped, "you've missed out both ways."
brett says:

Jun 6 2012 at 5:01 pm

@Mikael Liddy

but mostly its because there is a mountain pass that has cobbles all the way up it in Switzerland (though I'm not sure if they're riding it this year). How cool is that?

The best part about that climb is it's name, the St Gotthard Pass, a perfect description of The Climbone one feels when considering it.

+1

And what a badass photo that is... the shades, the caps, hairnets, perfect sock and short length, steel bikes, the bends of the bars. Glory days.
brett says:

Jun 6 2012 at 5:04 pm

@Marcus

She actually says Heinrich the first time, then goes downhill from there... "What are you from, what do you call your nationality?"
Nate says:

Jun 6 2012 at 5:20 pm

@Marcus
We could ask Pippo but after 4 years he probably wouldn't remember.
Dan_R says:

Jun 6 2012 at 7:38 pm

Tough tough tough...

Let's go with Cunego for the win!

VSP PICKS:

1. Cunego
2. Danielson
3. Sagen
4. Leipheimer
5. Gesink
gaswepass says:

Jun 6 2012 at 8:26 pm

@brett

@gaswepass

@brett

This one's got The Keepers written all over it...

VSP PICKS:

1. FRANK Schleck
2. BRETT Bookwalter
3. MARKO Marcato
4. GIANNI Meersman
5. JIM Casper

I dunno. Like the keepers concept, and always thought of you as the crass voice of keeper reason. But this schleck pick makes me think youve gone off the reservation. Heres to hoping sanity prevails and you change that! Is there not another frank who is an actual contender somewhere in the peloton? Somewhere someone? Oy.

Well, as all the other picks aren't actual contenders either, why not go for zero points?

Well, if you're going to get technical, I guess you have a point.

It just almost seems that there should be some kind of negative stimulus when picking a schleck, even if it is in jest. If nothing else, think of poor keeper frank toiling away at code tirelessly to be linked to a schleck. Seems like there should be a euphemism for it even.

Just sayin...
Giles says:

Jun 6 2012 at 9:09 pm

First post, but here we go, even Contador had to start somewhere. Decided to go with the normal approach to this type of thing and clean up by picking a rank outsider. (99 times out of a hundred I lose)

VSP PICKS:

1. Cam Meyer
2. Frank Schleck
3. Cancellara
4. Levi
5. Cunego
Bianchi Denti says:

Jun 6 2012 at 11:18 pm

Mmmmm, probably best to pick from an actual start list. 3 of 5 changed.

VSP PICKS:

1. Kreuziger
2. Gesink
3. F Schleck
4. Cunego
5. Nordhaug