Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2016

Platinum blond Frankie VDB goes deep in the Spanish desert.

The Vuelta is my least favorite Grand Tour. I say this every year, I know. And every year, circumstances make it look an awful lot like I could be wrong about that. Circumstances like, for instance, the fact that the GC almost always comes down to a nail-biting final few days, or someone comes from far down the classification to upset the standings on a transition stage, like Contador did a few years back.

Still, there is no denying that it has the least prestige of the three Grand Tours; any rider who has won the Tour de France would have no trouble finding a contract for years to come, and the same goes for the Giro to a lesser extent. Yet, I can think of two Vuelta winners – if not three – in the last decade who were without a contract the following year or were forced to resign themselves to racing on a lower-ranked team.

I blame my dislike for the Vuelta on Spain’s geography; those rains in Spain that fall mainly in the plains are also the plains in Spain that host stages on roads so flat and straight that you get the idea half the peloton would be happy to wrap a bungee cord around their handlebars and take a nap. Yet, some of the most brutal climbs are found along its parcours and those brutal climbs make for some wildly fantastic racing.

So I’m not saying I’m changing my mind about the Vuelta, but it can’t be worse than the Tour was this year.

Anyway, don’t mind this grumpy old man; prognosticate on the start list, get your picks in, sit back, and enjoy the racing. Good luck!

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Matthew M says:

Aug 30 2016 at 12:12 pm

Restday swap?

Valverde for Kruiswijk
Minnesota Expat says:

Aug 30 2016 at 1:20 pm

@Barracuda

@Minnesota Expat

@Barracuda

It’s in Spain. For another couple weeks. Check out steephill.tv for updates.

Mine was tongue firmly in cheek

No worries. So was mine.
Minnesota Expat says:

Aug 30 2016 at 1:32 pm

@Rick

I agree on Bob being less of a goofball, he is doing an excellent job of analysis. Although I am watching on a delay, and therefore am not sure if the commentary is live or filled in later, Bob gives insightful comments about what is about to happen. I enjoy his insights and comments on tactics.

No doubt the worst cycling commentator I have heard is Todd Gogulski. He has no clue on tactics nor race situation. Thankfully he is calling fewer races these days.

Get Bob away from that TdF crew and he seems to thrive. I especially appreciate his disagreements with Sherwen on situation and tactics. They're not shy about disagreeing, but both make good points, based on experience, and seem to have a good rapport.

Gogulski "GoGo" (God I hate cute nicknames. Are those nicknames an American thing?) and Schlanger have the worst chemistry. Schlanger is an idiot. While Gogulski seems to know what he's talking about, I can hardly bear to look at him, his combover and 1970's glasses.
Rick says:

Aug 30 2016 at 2:24 pm

@Minnesota Expat

@Rick

I agree on Bob being less of a goofball, he is doing an excellent job of analysis. Although I am watching on a delay, and therefore am not sure if the commentary is live or filled in later, Bob gives insightful comments about what is about to happen. I enjoy his insights and comments on tactics.

No doubt the worst cycling commentator I have heard is Todd Gogulski. He has no clue on tactics nor race situation. Thankfully he is calling fewer races these days.

Get Bob away from that TdF crew and he seems to thrive. I especially appreciate his disagreements with Sherwen on situation and tactics. They’re not shy about disagreeing, but both make good points, based on experience, and seem to have a good rapport.

Gogulski “GoGo” (God I hate cute nicknames. Are those nicknames an American thing?) and Schlanger have the worst chemistry. Schlanger is an idiot. While Gogulski seems to know what he’s talking about, I can hardly bear to look at him, his combover and 1970’s glasses.

I have really enjoyed Paul and Bob calling the Vuelta. It is interesting to hear them disagree as it gives a different point of view. Paul is very good when he isn't constantly mopping up for Phil. I even enjoyed Paul's Olympic calls with Christian Vande Velde who knows his stuff.

Schlanger is a bit dry but he gets no help from Gogulski. While Bob Roll will state categorically that a breakaway will or will not stay away, Gogulski will waffle which adds nothing. For a pretty good pro racer, tactics and situations are totally lost on him. I often find myself yelling at the telly when Todd has no clue why something is happening.

I am willing to give Schlanger a pass to some degree because he calls a number of sports. Therefore, he is not a cycling expert. I have heard him call a race or races with someone other than Gogulski and it raises Steve's game considerably.

Yes, it does seem that we Yanks like to give nicknames for everyone......I am not fond of the practice myself.
Minnesota Expat says:

Aug 30 2016 at 7:20 pm

@Rick

I am willing to give Schlanger a pass to some degree because he calls a number of sports. Therefore, he is not a cycling expert. I have heard him call a race or races with someone other than Gogulski and it raises Steve’s game considerably.

Yeah, calling Schlanger an "idiot" is a bit harsh. I get that he calls several sports and is not a retired pro, but he doesn't get any help from Gogulski.

What's with the USA broadcasts?! No Stage 10 and now there's nothing scheduled for the next week?! But all Tour of Britain stages are scheduled for broadcast?!
JCM says:

Aug 30 2016 at 9:34 pm

Well I'll be damned. I hadn't realized that I held the Red Jersey at one time. It won't last. It never does.

I was glad to see Gesink looking strong yesterday.
Erik says:

Sep 4 2016 at 9:05 am

Well that was a stage to watch!

Anyone? Crickets. All I hear are crickets.
Teocalli says:

Sep 4 2016 at 9:09 am

@Erik

Out riding! Just back and catching up.
Erik says:

Sep 4 2016 at 9:11 am

@Teocalli

@Erik

Out riding! Just back and catching up.

The only acceptable excuse!
LeoTea says:

Sep 4 2016 at 9:56 am

@Erik

That's 2 crackers in a row. Loved yesterday's finish, with Froome and Quintana so busy eyeing each other they were letting others go. And today's was the ultimate in opportunism with that break getting away so early. But I think Froome was cooked anyways - he lost more time on the last hill, even though it didn't look like he'd done much work all stage.