Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2016

Platinum blond Frankie VDB goes deep in the Spanish desert.

The Vuelta is my least favorite Grand Tour. I say this every year, I know. And every year, circumstances make it look an awful lot like I could be wrong about that. Circumstances like, for instance, the fact that the GC almost always comes down to a nail-biting final few days, or someone comes from far down the classification to upset the standings on a transition stage, like Contador did a few years back.

Still, there is no denying that it has the least prestige of the three Grand Tours; any rider who has won the Tour de France would have no trouble finding a contract for years to come, and the same goes for the Giro to a lesser extent. Yet, I can think of two Vuelta winners – if not three – in the last decade who were without a contract the following year or were forced to resign themselves to racing on a lower-ranked team.

I blame my dislike for the Vuelta on Spain’s geography; those rains in Spain that fall mainly in the plains are also the plains in Spain that host stages on roads so flat and straight that you get the idea half the peloton would be happy to wrap a bungee cord around their handlebars and take a nap. Yet, some of the most brutal climbs are found along its parcours and those brutal climbs make for some wildly fantastic racing.

So I’m not saying I’m changing my mind about the Vuelta, but it can’t be worse than the Tour was this year.

Anyway, don’t mind this grumpy old man; prognosticate on the start list, get your picks in, sit back, and enjoy the racing. Good luck!

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

RobSandy says:

Sep 8 2016 at 3:39 am

@Teocalli

@chris

So true. I aspire to the stroke of Maître Jacques but ……

That could be wilfully misconstrued………

From what I've heard plenty of ladies experienced Anquetil's stroke...
chris says:

Sep 8 2016 at 3:50 am

@Teocalli, @RobSandy, Must you find innuendo everywhere?

One of the requirements of my work is that the reports I write contain no ambiguity whatsoever.
Teocalli says:

Sep 8 2016 at 3:52 am

@chris

@Teocalli, @RobSandy, Must you find innuendo everywhere?

One of the requirements of my work is that the reports I write contain no ambiguity whatsoever.

I thought it was one of the unwritten site rules to misconstrue comments at every opportunity?
chris says:

Sep 8 2016 at 3:57 am

@RobSandy

@chris

So true. I aspire to the stroke of Maître Jacques but comfort myself with the knowledge that Stannard can stomp his way to victory.

I do need to spend a lot of time on my rollers this winter, though. That’s the key to a more magnificent stroke for me.

I plan to ride fixed on the track once a week, that should help. Mind you, elegance can get you so far but there’s no substitute for POWER. I wish I had a fraction of the leg power big Yogi must have.

Rollers for souplesse, turbo for power.

Stannard averaged 326 watts the other day. I'd be luck to produce that sort of power for more than a couple of minutes.
RobSandy says:

Sep 8 2016 at 3:59 am

@chris

@Teocalli, @RobSandy, Must you find innuendo everywhere?

Yes.
Rick says:

Sep 8 2016 at 5:13 am

Van Garderen abandons after a rest day, who would have guessed that?
Steve Trice says:

Sep 8 2016 at 5:44 am

@Rick

Van Garderen abandons after a rest day, who would have guessed that?

Not a great season for him. Wonder whether he'll continue to pursue GT ambitions or steer his career in another direction? In my eyes he's not even an outside bet for a podium position in a three week stage race, especially given the rise of the Yates boys which has pushed him further back in the pecking order.
Rick says:

Sep 8 2016 at 7:20 am

@Steve Trice

@Rick

Van Garderen abandons after a rest day, who would have guessed that?

Not a great season for him. Wonder whether he’ll continue to pursue GT ambitions or steer his career in another direction? In my eyes he’s not even an outside bet for a podium position in a three week stage race, especially given the rise of the Yates boys which has pushed him further back in the pecking order.

Agreed, he seems to have problems after rest days for some reason. I figured the signing of Richie Port signaled that BMC management was losing faith in Tejay. Hate to see this happen to him.
RobSandy says:

Sep 9 2016 at 5:42 am

@chris

I was just having a look at Stannard's Strava profile, found this. Pretty good KOM to have, no?

https://www.strava.com/segments/8305696
chris says:

Sep 9 2016 at 6:24 am

@RobSandy

That's ridiculous and, quite frankly, just not fair. That's near enough flat and cobbled. The fastest I've recorded is 65.5 kph coming off the Hautacam (it's far from smooth and the straights aren't that long) but it's steep.

I think I need to get a Stannard hair cut.