Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2016

Platinum blond Frankie VDB goes deep in the Spanish desert.

The Vuelta is my least favorite Grand Tour. I say this every year, I know. And every year, circumstances make it look an awful lot like I could be wrong about that. Circumstances like, for instance, the fact that the GC almost always comes down to a nail-biting final few days, or someone comes from far down the classification to upset the standings on a transition stage, like Contador did a few years back.

Still, there is no denying that it has the least prestige of the three Grand Tours; any rider who has won the Tour de France would have no trouble finding a contract for years to come, and the same goes for the Giro to a lesser extent. Yet, I can think of two Vuelta winners – if not three – in the last decade who were without a contract the following year or were forced to resign themselves to racing on a lower-ranked team.

I blame my dislike for the Vuelta on Spain’s geography; those rains in Spain that fall mainly in the plains are also the plains in Spain that host stages on roads so flat and straight that you get the idea half the peloton would be happy to wrap a bungee cord around their handlebars and take a nap. Yet, some of the most brutal climbs are found along its parcours and those brutal climbs make for some wildly fantastic racing.

So I’m not saying I’m changing my mind about the Vuelta, but it can’t be worse than the Tour was this year.

Anyway, don’t mind this grumpy old man; prognosticate on the start list, get your picks in, sit back, and enjoy the racing. Good luck!

[vsp_results id=”73002″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

RobSandy says:

Sep 13 2016 at 7:58 am

@wiscot

@Oli

I’ve got that jersey, bibs, socks, mitts and even the bandana – if I didn’t have a full head of hair and weigh two Pantanis I would be his identical double.

I think that should be the new, official weight measurement for Velominati. How many Pantanis do you weigh? I’m likely about one-and-a half.

Love it. I'm 1.47 Pantanis.
Ron says:

Sep 13 2016 at 9:43 am

I should be right around 1 Pantani, but with a 4 month old I blame the baby boy on my 1+ Pantani weight. Not enough time to ride! Time to scale back the intake.
Rick says:

Sep 13 2016 at 10:51 am

@Ron

I should be right around 1 Pantani, but with a 4 month old I blame the baby boy on my 1+ Pantani weight. Not enough time to ride! Time to scale back the intake.

I have recently gone from 1.6 Pantanis to 1.4 Pantanis. Climbing is more Pantani like but there is still much room for improvement.

I do also wear a bandana under my Giro to keep from getting helmet vents tanned into my Pantani like pate. I doubt that I will ever sport the Pantani like facial hair despite the fact that it would be Rule#50 compliant in my case.
DVMR says:

Sep 13 2016 at 3:21 pm

@wiscot

@Oli

I’ve got that jersey, bibs, socks, mitts and even the bandana – if I didn’t have a full head of hair and weigh two Pantanis I would be his identical double.

I think that should be the new, official weight measurement for Velominati. How many Pantanis do you weigh? I’m likely about one-and-a half.

Hehe, brilliant!

1.12 Pantanis all day long.
DVMR says:

Sep 13 2016 at 3:42 pm

@Teocalli

@DVMR

Damn – every now and again that bike gets posted and reminds me that I stupidly sold one of those before I saw the light.

Ouch!

@Teocalli

@DVMR

Damn – every now and again that bike gets posted and reminds me that I stupidly sold one of those before I saw the light.

Yikes. That's got to hurt.
Jay says:

Sep 13 2016 at 3:45 pm

So close...
chuckp says:

Sep 14 2016 at 6:57 am

My and the rest of the PEZ crew's thoughts about this year's Vuelta.

http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/features/vuelta-2016-pez-crew-best-moments